A Great Escape
by gothicorca1895
Summary: Shen thought that his life had finally reached a stable place...but unfortunately, he has to deal with emotional turbulence and unwanted politics before he can reach his happy ending. Continuation of the Long Shot/Keeping a Secret series. Prepare for OCs!
1. Shock aftermath

_A/N - Hello, world. This is the continuation of my previous series of KFP fics, which includes the stories "Long Shot" and "Keeping a Secret." For all of you who don't know how my weird fandom works, allow me to explain. Those of you who are familiar with my works, feel free to skip this._

_You see, all of my stories are based on a really long and complicated RP I did with Cryssy-miu, AKA Jordan. Jordan wrote a Kung Fu Panda fanfic called "Redeeming Light," which we sort of stuck to while we were RPing but didn't follow completely. As a result, all of the characters had the same names and same personalities between us two, but not all the same things happened to them…as you shall soon see._

_If you've never read Redeeming Light, I recommend it, but what's much more essential is reading my two other stories, "Long Shot" and "Keeping a Secret." If you've never read them, you can try to follow along with the exposition in this one, but I think you'll probably get lost. Unlike my other stories, this one is only based in the universe of that RP and was made up by me alone. Also, prepare for OCs - a lot more OCs than usual. Jordan's character Kurisu will have a very minor role, and I'll have three characters of my own showing up throughout._

_So...I hope I didn't lose you with that introduction, and please enjoy A Great Escape!_

* * *

**A Great Escape  
**_Chapter 1: Shock aftermath_

"Oh, gods…it's happening again…"

Shen drew the blanket tighter around his shoulders, huddling into it as if that would abate his symptoms. To him, every slight tremble indicated the onset of the uncontrollable shaking, and every throb of his heart seemed to come faster than the one before it, leading up to more palpitations. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the panic flashes – or perhaps those would just wait cruelly as they had a few nights ago, springing upon him just as he was on the threshold of sleep.

Four nights ago, he'd had a panic attack, his first since he was a chick. It had occurred after a normal day; nothing frightening had happened, he wasn't sick or hurt, and there was no reason for him to suddenly be gripped by terror. And yet he was. One minute he'd been falling asleep, and the next a sense of dread had overtaken him, spilling into a fit of convulsions. At first he'd been afraid that he was having a heart attack or going insane again, and had tottered into his nanny's room, a trembling and inconsolable mess. It was a good thing that her room was right next to his.

His nanny was more commonly known as just 'the soothsayer.' She had once been the court advisor to Shen's parents, the lord and lady of Gongmen City, but her primary job had always been to care for their sickly albino chick. Even when he got older and began to experiment with the qualities of fireworks that should have been left alone…even when he had attempted to take over China and held her prisoner…and even when he'd survived his defeat and shunned all of her suggestions to lead his life differently now, she had always been there. He'd never been able to kid himself: if it hadn't been for her, he never would have lasted this long. When he'd stumbled into her room, clutched in the throes of a panic attack, she had swiftly and efficiently managed to calm him a bit before going to get Lady Biming, now pretty much the official healer of the Jade Palace.

Shen had ended up at the Jade Palace through an unlikely series of events, as had the soothsayer, Lady Biming, and a few of the other people who now made up his family. Huddled here tonight, he willed his mind away from the fear of fear itself, and recalled the events that had led up to this situation in a desperate hope that it could ward off the fermenting panic attack…

After suffering a humiliating defeat at the hands of Po, the Dragon Warrior, the foretold "warrior of black and white," Shen had sworn revenge against the warriors who had taken everything from him. He'd snuck into the Jade Palace, but weakened from his injuries and without an army to back him up, there had been only one opportunity for him to make them miserable, and that had come about when he'd spotted a kitten wandering through the palace unattended. The kitten was named Kurisu, and she was a rather young student of Master Shifu's who had been taken under his tutelage after a massacre on her village. Mr. Ping had adopted her, which also made her Po's little sister. With her still-imperfect fighting skills, she'd been an easy target for Shen to kidnap and hold for ransom.

All of that had been nearly four years ago.

Shen had brought Kurisu to his hideout at Dao-ming Temple and boastingly asked the soothsayer how this new endeavor would turn out. To his shock, his nanny's prediction had been that Shen would only find happiness if he learned to care about someone as much as himself – to care about someoneMORE than himself. Refusing to believe her, he'd treated the kitten harshly at first, but circumstances had soon begun to change. Before he knew it, he was opening up for the first time in decades, being given the opportunity to wash some of his insanity away. Kurisu grew attached to him, and eventually vice versa. When the citizens of Gongmen City had learned of his whereabouts and formed a mob bent on killing him, he'd nearly sacrificed himself to save her. And so, with Kurisu's insistences that she refused to be parted from him, Shen had been taken into the Jade Palace. But he was faced with a challenge: repaying his massive moral debt.

Once again, fate had intervened, and his circumstances had made that task surprisingly simple – not easy, just clear and apparent. First he'd been given the opportunity to make up with his best friend Xun, AKA the wolf boss. Then he'd had a chance to make things right with Lady Biming, a panda woman who had been spared because she'd been his healer when she was younger (and she also happened to be Po's mother, leading to reconciliation between Shen and his former enemy at last). And after managing to do the right thing not once but several times, Shen's circumstances became more than bearable…he was happy. At long last, he was at peace. He had a family and a place where he belonged.

So really, there was no reason for him to be having panic attacks, and yet just that had happened.

First there had been his initial panic attack four days ago, and then there'd been another one two days later. Lady Biming, who had effortlessly resumed her role as his healer, said that she thought the attacks were nothing to worry about and that she'd seen plenty of patients with similar out-of-the-blue symptoms. Her reassurances did not change the fact that Shen had barely slept for several nights now, that he was exhausted and driven to the end of his nerves, and that he lived in constant anxious anticipation of having another attack.

Which brought him full circle, back to tonight, back to the slight trembles and pounding heart and threat of unbridled terror creeping over him…

Someone knocked on his door, and he flinched as if someone had fired a cannon beside his ear.

"C-come in…" he croaked, lifting his face only slightly out of his protective cocoon of blankets.

The door cracked open, and the soothsayer padded into his room, dressed in her sleep robe and holding a candle. "Are you going to bed, darling?" she called softly.

Shen kept his beak shut. He WANTED to sleep, truly he did; he was exhausted, but it would be wishful thinking to hope that he'd get any rest tonight.

The soothsayer, being practically his mother, frowned and came forward. "It's not happening again, is it?"

He bobbed his head slightly.

She sighed harshly. "Shen. At this point, you're really just doing this to yourself…"

"Do you think I can simply stop being afraid?" he snapped, but his shattered voice made him sound more frightened than irritated.

She pursed her lips. "I'll be right back," she said, and left the room without bothering to close the door.

A few minutes later, she returned with a glass of water and a bottle of a sticky-looking liquid. "Lady Biming told me that it's all right to give you this. Sedating you is not something we want to get in the habit of doing, but you need some sleep…"

Shen breathed out, realizing what must be in the bottle: sleeping serum. Now he was being drugged. It would have been a relief to him, except now it seemed that even Lady Biming thought that he was getting worse...

"Am I going insane again?" he murmured, more to himself than to the soothsayer.

"No, dear, you're just going through a phase right now." She tipped a small amount of the sedative into the water, and the thick colored liquid overtook the glass in ominous-looking whorls. "It's nothing to worry about. Now, drink this. You need to rebuild your strength. After all, you'll be leaving in a few days."

Shen's eyebrows curled in confusion for a moment, before he remembered what she meant by 'leaving.' "Oh! The trip to Gongmen! I…I'd forgotten."

A few weeks earlier, he had received a message from the Masters Council, requesting his presence in Gongmen City so that he could be recruited for a special project. He had been looking forward to it for a while, but now that he was being subjected to these awful panic attacks, he wasn't sure that he wanted to go anymore. He didn't mention this now, though, and only took the glass that was offered to him, draining it in a single swallow.

The soothsayer ran a gentle hoof along his crest before standing up. "Things will get better, you'll see. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nana." Shen sighed and dragged his tired body over to his bed, where he flopped down and waited for the sedative to take effect. All the lanterns had been quenched for the night, and it was here in the darkness that his mind was at its most vulnerable. If a panic attack was truly going to strike him tonight, it would surely do so now…

But instead the medicine and his own exhaustion overtook him so abruptly that he didn't even remember falling asleep.

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_A/N #2 - Heh, heh. Yeah, I know that I left White Hot Darkness sitting all by its lonesome for like two months...but, uh, I've been having these panic attacks recently, and for some reason they have actually lent me the inspiration to write this. Someday I'll go back to WHD, I swear! Until then, please enjoy this new story, and as always, I love your generous reviews!_


	2. An opportunity

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 2: An opportunity_

For the entirety of the next morning, Shen's mind refused to turn away from the upcoming trip to Gongmen and how he'd be able to cope with it in his current state. What if he had a panic attack while he was away? He'd be separated from everyone who might be able to calm him, and somehow he doubted that the presence of Masters Storming Ox and Croc would be very reassuring…

The drugged sleep hadn't done him much good, and he was just as listless that morning as he had been every day for the past week. He skipped breakfast and did not attend the first training session, preferring instead to go to his room and pretend to mediate (while really all he was doing was worrying some more). This continual lapse of behavior did not escape anyone's notice.

Midway through the morning, his turbulent thoughts led him to dig up the scroll he had received a few weeks earlier, the message detailing the project he'd be dealing with in Gongmen City. He unfurled it carefully and reread the hastily inscribed kanji:

_To Master Sheng Li:_

_It's been quite a while since we've seen you, but we've heard about your new merits from many reliable sources. We thought you might like to know that we're starting a series of improvement projects around Gongmen City. Our two main tasks will be rebuilding the Tower of the Sacred Flame and improving defenses all around the city. We're looking for someone to design and plan the new defenses and thought that you might be up to the task. After all, you're overqualified for it, aren't you? We'll give you more specific instructions if you agree. For now, send us a message with your response. We'll be expecting you in about four weeks or so._

_With all due respect,_

_Masters Storming Ox and Croc_

Shen exhaled as he finished reading through the letter. When he'd first received that message, he had barely been able to contain his excitement. Word of his new reputation was spreading all the way to Gongmen City now, it seemed. Of course, that was probably all due to endorsement from Master Shifu, something quite valuable in its own right. Plus, he hadn't had a chance to put his technological expertise to work since his reformation, aside from arranging the occasional fireworks display. Here was a chance for him to get away from the idle training of his everyday life and do something useful.

It didn't seem so glamorous anymore.

He shut his eyes, groaning inwardly, as he pictured what his visit would be like now: spending his nights shivering and alone in a strange guestroom, unable to sleep and possibly plagued by a few more panic attacks; being exhausted and overly skittish during the day, getting little to no work done; and knowing that every minute, Master Storming Ox and Master Croc would be staring at him in confusion, and he wouldn't feel comfortable telling them what was wrong. All of that wasn't really going to clear his name.

The only possible course of action for him seemed disappointing, but necessary. He quietly closed the scroll and headed into the dining hall.

Lady Biming was there stacking the dirty breakfast dishes, as he'd known she would be. All of the other warriors had already left for training. He took a seat at the table and was so quiet that it was some time before she noticed that he was there.

"Oh, good morning, Shen." Biming's voice was pleasant and mild, and its tone certainly didn't waver as she spoke to him. "Hungry?"

He shook his head, allowing his long feathered fingers to trace absent squiggles on the table's polished surface. She sighed and shook her head slightly. "You have to eat sometime, you know…"

"I've been thinking about the trip to Gongmen in a few days." Shen clasped his hands, leaning forward with a resigned look in his eyes. "Can you medically excuse me from leaving right away?"

"Medically excuse…?" Biming shot him an odd look. Of course, if anyone could medically excuse him, it would be her; she'd been his healer since he was a hatchling, and nowadays she was pretty much the official physician of the Jade Palace. But that didn't change the fact that it was a rather surprising request. "Why would you want me to medically excuse you? I thought you were looking forward to that trip!"

He looked up at her somberly.

"This is about the panic attacks, isn't it?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that you're doing yourself more harm than good right now." Biming set down her stack of dishes with a loud clank and lowered herself into the chair next to him. Her face bore that stern, motherly look that he had become very familiar with. "You had worse panic attacks than this when you were a chick, and you survived those, didn't you?"

"I know, but…"

"You can't completely shut yourself in just because of one little problem. In fact, I think it will do you good to get a change of scenery. Being someplace new might actually help calm you down."

"You don't understand!" he blurted out abruptly, swallowing hard. His crest flattened, a sure sign of his extreme agitation. "What if I have another panic attack while I'm there? I'll be all alone! It'll keep happening, I know it will…"

He clamped his beak shut, trying to force back the desperate terror rising through him. Biming clicked her tongue sympathetically and placed her paw on his wing.

"You'll be fine," she assured him, gently but firmly. "Nothing bad will happen, you'll see. Just think of this as a vacation…a great escape of sorts. It will be good for you…"

Shen looked away from her, not reassured in the slightest. He knew now that no one was really aware of what he was feeling, that he would have to suffer through his by himself, and that knowledge put a cold sinking sensation in the pits of his stomach and heart. Going to Gongmen in a normal frame of mind might have been vaguely awkward at some points, making him feel a bit uncomfortable if he saw people whispering around him or giving him a wide berth. But in his current state, all of those little trivialities would set him on edge more and more, stringing him tighter and tighter until he snapped.

_What if I'm going crazy again? _That was his number one fear. _What if having these panic attacks means that I'm going crazy again?_

Without another word, he stood up and trudged back to his room. Lady Biming watched him go and was concerned despite what she had said to him. He didn't have to say anything; his huddled posture and drooping feathers said everything for him.

"Still, I did the right thing," she told herself, scooping up the last pile of dishes and heading to the kitchen.

Shen's specific choice of words kept insistently nipping at her ears, though. _"I'll be all alone!" _he'd exclaimed. It wasn't the idea of having another attack while he was away that was bothering him, not really. It was the idea of having another attack while being isolated from his support network. She had to admit that sending him unwillingly off by himself was probably not the best thing for him right now. But what would he do if he was allowed to stay? Lock himself in his room and wander around listlessly? Those weren't particularly helpful behaviors either.

When she reached the kitchen, she discovered that the soothsayer was there waiting for her. "Oh, hello, Min Yun," she greeted her friend absently, plunking her load down onto the counter.

The soothsayer kept her eyes trained on the panda, gripping her walking stick tightly. "Were you talking to Shen just now?" she asked anxiously.

"Yes." Biming sighed and folded her arms. "The fact that he'll be leaving in a few days is upsetting him. I'm not sure what to do. On one hand, it won't do him any good to stay here. On the other, he just doesn't want to be alone right now…"

The soothsayer nodded understandingly. "I went in to see him last night – he won't stop anticipating that he'll have another attack. He's more worried about it than he should be."

"Well, I don't know about that. He's not the only patient I've seen get like this." As Biming tied an apron over her green robe, something suddenly occurred to her. "Say, why don't you go with him, Min Yun?"

The soothsayer blinked, startled. "Me? You think I should?"

"It seems like a reasonable idea to me. Shen will be more at ease knowing you're there. You'll have plenty of free time to go around Gongmen while he's working on his project, and I'm sure the masters won't mind. You could even take Xun with you!"

"Xun would probably like to see the city again…as would I." Her eyes began to shine behind her spectacles. "That IS a good idea, Biming. Thank you very much."

"Oh, don't mention it." Biming smiled and returned to the dishes she had to clean. "You'd better go see if Xun is on board with it, although I'm sure he probably will be. Shen will have his great escape yet."

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_A/N - Uh...I'm supposed to say something here, aren't I...how about 'thanks for the reviews?' I got a bigger response then I thought I would after a pretty long absence. And I'm not telling you anything about the plot of this story. In fact, I might purposely put something in there to screw with your expectations. Anyway, please keep reviewing, or I'll break out the Baby Shen guilt device!_


	3. Arrival

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 3: Arrival_

It was a crisp, slightly chilly autumn day in Gongmen City. The populace was bustling about the streets, carrying out their daily business as always despite the temperature. Piping hot buns billowed steam into the frigid air as vendors passed them to customers; shopkeepers welcomed buyers into their stores, promising greater warmth inside; all of this activity went on beneath a sky that was that peculiar shade of blue which only occurs when the weather begins to grow colder.

As Shen moved past the first fringes of buildings and into the city proper, he felt his proverbial hackles rising. He wasn't comfortable in Gongmen, never had been. When he was younger, this had been a place where people either gawked at or made fun of his coloration; when returning from his banishment several years ago, nothing short of an enormous cannon in a box had made him feel more secure. Nowadays things were even more awkward, as he was very aware of the city denizens' mixed feelings towards him. And, of course, it was far too much to hope not to be recognized.

He clutched a dark travelling cloak around his shoulders as he walked towards his destination briskly; if anything, the garment just drew attention to the glorious white train trailing behind him. The two figures walking behind him were pretty unmistakable as well. He was forced to keep staring straight ahead and striding forward as if he didn't see the faces of bystanders gaping at him.

Shen, Xun, and the soothsayer had just disembarked the boat that had brought them to the city's harbor. During the trip, Shen had slept soundly, as a day of travelling was usually more than enough to tire him out completely. Now that several days had passed, the constant fear that he would have another panic attack was beginning to leave him; still, he did not regret bringing a bit of moral support with him.

Xun – also known as the wolf boss formerly at the head of Shen's army, as well as the peacock's best friend since childhood – was also anxious about being in a city where he was a bit less than welcome. "Shen, people are staring at us," he muttered.

"I know that. Just ignore them."

The soothsayer was the only one out of the three of them who wasn't nervous about her company or location. Whenever someone gazed at her in shock, she would smile and nod at them, and the person would grow embarrassed and quickly turn their head away. "You two had better get used to this," she said quietly as they made their way through the crowds. "We'll be here for a while."

"Hopefully by the time we leave I won't be such a spectacle," Shen mumbled, and he didn't say anything to either of them for the rest of the journey.

As they grew closer and closer to their goal, Shen found his eyes constantly lifting towards the sky, as if searching for the Tower of the Sacred Flame, but of course it wasn't there. The fact that he automatically kept looking for it unnerved him; it was as if the palace's ghost still stood and was launching his mind into unease as revenge for what he'd done to it. He reminded himself preparations were underway to rebuild it, and wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not. The Tower of the Sacred Flame was a gorgeous structure, of course, and his ancestral home, but it held nothing but bad memories for him. That was probably why he'd really wanted to destroy it.

So he forced his eyes to focus on the ground in front of him until they finally arrived at the former site of the tower.

Shen had grown up in this very spot, and yet now it was unrecognizable. It bore no resemblance to his childhood home, or to the pile of wreckage that he had looked upon from a window in the fireworks factory with a sneer upon his beak. The outer walls and guardhouses still stood, although they were a bit cracked and sooty. All of the debris had been picked clean and cleared away over the last four and a half years or so. The rutted indentation in the ground marking Master Thundering Rhino's burial ground had been long since paved over.

"They've done a lot of work already," Xun noted. Shen only nodded.

The guards posted on the path watched them warily, but let them pass on to the former palace grounds, where two new structures greeted them. Directly in front of the trio was a sturdy but very unadorned building that looked to be some sort of bunkhouse – Shen figured that this was a temporary place of residence for Storming Ox and Croc until the Tower of the Sacred Flame was inhabitable. Looming behind it were the beginnings of that very tower's long rebuilding process. It was bare bones of the first story and a half or so, not completed by any stretch of the imagination, an irregular and hulking mass that looked vaguely sinister.

The thought of a ghost tower once again crossed Shen's mind. He shivered in the cool air and shook his head to clear it. He was going to give himself another panic attack thinking of things like that.

Masters Storming Ox and Croc were waiting tensely in front of the plain building. Both seemed to be slightly nervous and consciously trying not be too unwelcoming.

"Welcome, Shen." Storming Ox was the first to speak up in his deep, rumbling voice.

"Good afternoon, Masters," Shen responded, then cleared his throat to get rid of the faintness in his voice.

Croc eyed Xun and the soothsayer, who were both trailing behind the peacock. "We weren't expecting company."

"No, I suppose you weren't," agreed Shen tiredly. "But I haven't been well of late. I brought them for moral support. Didn't think you'd mind."

"We don't mind," Storming Ox submitted. He didn't say anything about it, but he had to admit that Shen really didn't look all that well. Of course, the former lord got sick frequently, so that was probably why.

Shen, Xun, and the soothsayer were led into the plain building (which Storming Ox and Croc referred to as the "dormitory") and were given a brief tour. It was actually a small complex that included a kitchen, a dining room, and several bedrooms, which were mostly occupied by the two masters and their head servants. "There's only two extra bedrooms," Storming Ox informed them, "so Shen, you and your…wolf friend…"

"Xun," Xun prompted them, a bit miffed that no one could ever seem to remember his name.

"You and Xun will have to share a room."

Shen and Xun exchanged a glance, then shrugged in unison. "That's fine."

"Good. We'll show you to your rooms."

After the three travelers had dumped their travel packs on their respective beds, they were almost immediately ushered into the kitchen for dinner. Compared to the Jade Palace fare, the food was quite flavorless, but nobody complained. Shen figured that now would be a good time to start discussing the assignment that he was here to do. "So, why do you feel the need to update your defenses?" he asked between mouthfuls of rice.

"It's mostly just precautionary," answered Croc. "We've had a few pretty nasty attempts at raids since you were here last, and we figured that we should be ready for anything."

"Sometimes just us and some guards isn't enough to protect the city," Storming Ox agreed. "So we thought that perhaps the sight of a few cannons on the outskirts of town…"

Shen nearly choked on his food, causing the soothsayer to glance over in alarm.

"Cannons?" he finally gasped, his voice incredulous. "No one said anything about cannons!"

"We figured you'd think of it yourself." Storming Ox cleared his throat. "Copies of your designs happened to get passed around. It seems that a lot of people think that firearms are a good idea. Cannons don't necessarily have to eliminate kung fu – just like the invention of swords didn't eliminate traditional hand-to-hand combat."

"I didn't know." Shen sat back in his chair, amazed. He had never thought to wonder about the fate of his invention (except maybe one or two times before meeting Kurisu, while he was in his long and glowering recovery process) and had certainly never thought that other people might be using his designs. Even more stunning, now Storming Ox and Croc were actually asking him to make a few more cannons! That was showing a level of trust that he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"Well, I've sworn off explosives, more or less," he began slowly. "But for you fine gentlemen, I'll make an exception."

Croc raised his glass. "Let's have a toast, then – to Gongmen City."

"To Gongmen City," everyone echoed, lifting their glasses into the air.

Shen leaned back in his chair, thinking about the project that he was about to do. The truth was, he didn't like Gongmen City that much. It was his home only in the sense that he'd been born and raised here; but every stone on every road, every brick of every building, was saturated with bad memories. But that was hardly the fault of the city. So he would prove himself to the Masters Council and give Gongmen the best defenses that it had ever seen – and then he would go home, to his real life and his real family, once again.


	4. The first visitors

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 4: The first visitors_

Shen did not sleep well on his first night in Gongmen. He spent hours lying awake, and when he drifted off at some point during the night, he found himself immediately launched into his most terrifying recurring nightmare…

It always started out in the normal way of a bad dream, if that made any sense: he found himself in a burning and unfamiliar village, beneath a red and smoke-tinged sky. Not yet feeling any fear, he would move forward until he heard screams coming from one large building. Slipping inside without variation, he would always be confronted with a terrible sight – his family (normally Nana, Kurisu, and Xun) were being tormented by a shadowy, red-eyed figure holding a fireball in its long fingers. A split second before the shadow prepared to torture or maybe even kill its innocent captives, Shen would cry out, "No!" and lunge forward…

Only to have the figure turn around, and he'd see that it was _himself_.

One would think that you could only have a nightmare so many times before it ceased to be so terrifying, but Shen still jolted awake in unbridled terror. And with an added bonus, because he didn't get any of the relief that normally washed over him after awakening from that dream; his beak was chattering like a castanet, and convulsions were rolling through his body. Another panic attack. Perfect. That was exactly what he needed tonight.

Not even trying to go back to sleep, Shen stood up, holding his borrowed blanket around his shoulders like a cloak. Stepping quietly around Xun (that wolf was such a heavy sleeper that a few dozen cannon blasts couldn't wake him up) he forced his shaky legs to carry him outside, where he seated himself on the steps of the dormitory and gazed out at the city behind the palace walls.

His eyes roamed over the familiar skyline, drinking in details that he probably wouldn't have noticed even during the day. He carefully examined the particular jagged shapes of each cluster of buildings, noting the dimly flickering windows where a few residents still had their lights on. Perhaps they were insomniacs, or up working very late, or maybe they were even suffering from a panic attack like him. After all, he couldn't possibly be the only person in the world to have this problem, could he?

Suddenly he heard the sound of soft footsteps behind him. Shen flinched visibly, set on edge even by the barely-a-sound, but then a hoof gently gripped his shoulder and a voice whispered beside his ear, "Shen, relax. It's only me."

Shen exhaled shakily, turning his head towards the old goat as she lowered herself down beside him. "Nana, you startled me…"

"I know." She frowned worriedly, reaching up to smooth his feathers back. "What are you doing out here at this time of night?"

"I had a nightmare, and…" Shen held out his wings, displaying the persistent trembles for her.

"Again?" She heaved a sigh. "I thought you were over this. Is something wrong?"

Shen gazed out at the horizon, trying to figure out how to word what was going through his mind.

"Well…it's…it's this assignment," he blurted out. His eyes swept to the side, at last drawn to the structure that he'd been trying to avoid looking at: the fireworks factory, currently dark and silent, but about to be revitalized all too soon. "I don't know why Storming Ox and Croc are trusting me with so much! They really want me to make cannons? I wouldn't even trust myself with that! And the dreams…the panic attacks…Nana, what if this really means I'm going insane again…?"

Her hoof lifted further, stroking his crest back. "Shhh…"

Shen swallowed hard, shutting his eyes, trying to focus on nothing but the comforting touch. It was a trick he had learned, a sort of subjective mediation used to rein his mind in: _focus on only one thing at a time…_

"You need to stop thinking of your insanity as some sort of disease, darling. It's not a sickness, not in the traditional sense. You can control it. And you already HAVE controlled it, and it's not coming back."

"But I just feel that…"

"Hush." She took hold of his chin firmly, turning his head so that he made eye contact with her. "I was taking with Lady Biming before we left, and do you know what she said? She said that she's dealt with people having panic attacks before, and fear of going crazy is very common. It even happened to your father once."

Shen's breath hitched. "My father…"

"Yes. When you were seven, that night that you and Xun tried to run away from home, he was so frightened that he said he was afraid he might lose his sanity. He had the same symptoms as you, the shaking and the heart palpitations…this is more common than you think it is…"

Shen didn't know what to say. Even his own father had dealt with this in his lifetime, no thanks to him. He made a mental note to visit his parents' graves sometime before leaving the city; like most parents, they would probably be irritated if he was in town and neglected to come and see them. He almost smiled at the thought.

"I'm still not sure I like this, though…" His eyes slowly crept back towards the fireworks factory. "Going in there again…"

The soothsayer stood up with the aid of her cane, getting that familiar seer-knows-best expression on her face. "That factory is as much your ancestral home as the Tower of the Sacred Flame. That's where your grandparents invented fireworks. That's where your parents planned out the most elaborate displays that China had ever seen."

"That's where I tried to take over China and made cannons."

"Yes, and now you're going to make cannons again – to protect the city. They won't know it, but every time an invasion is stopped, they'll have you to thank. You'll be on much better standing with the Masters Council, and your parents will be very proud of you." She squeezed his shoulder slightly. "Though I'm certain they already are."

Shen smiled faintly. "Well, thank you for the pep talk, Nana, but I think we should go inside. It's nearly dawn."

"Promise me that you'll stop worrying about this, Shen. Everything is going to turn out just fine. You'll see…"

…

Everyone was roused early the next morning, much to Xun's chagrin. Shen hadn't gone back to sleep after his conversation with the soothsayer, so he didn't really mind. They grabbed a quick breakfast in the kitchen before everyone parted for their respective daily activities: the servants went off to help the builders working on the Tower of the Sacred Flame, the soothsayer headed into the city for a presumable day of shopping and catching up with her old friends, and Masters Storming Ox and Croc led Shen and Xun around Gongmen to the proposed areas where the new defenses would be placed. They shared their ideas, and Shen contributed his own suggestions.

"If you ever needed to block off these canals, it would be a simple matter to just put some chains across them – only when it was necessary, of course…"

"If you really want cannons, I'd advise one at each entrance. They all need a guard post, of course. Long range weapons would be required…I would need to design some sort of apparatus for maneuvering them more quickly…"

"How do your guards communicate now? By messenger? That wouldn't work in times of crisis. You know, I could devise a simple system for communicating by flares across the city…"

The work kept him busy, and he actually enjoyed it. He was beginning to see that his creative ideas didn't just have to be used for darkness and destruction. By afternoon, he was hardly even noticing the bystanders giving him perplexed looks and he flew over canals and scaled high walls, calling down to Storming Ox and Croc and occasionally becoming engaged in brief tussles with Xun.

They group was walking back from the harbor, considering a break for lunch, when a palace messenger dashed up to them.

"Masters!" the antelope panted as his hooves clattered to a stop. "We have visitors at the dormitory."

"Visitors?" repeated Croc. He and Storming Ox exchanged a puzzled glance.

"Yes, one Lady Xuilan and her bodyguard, Ming…"

"Who's Lady Xuilan?" asked Xun.

"The name isn't familiar," said Storming Ox, and frowned. "I suppose that now we'll have to go back and see these visitors. We'll resume our work once we finish with them."

The trip from the harbor to the dormitory was a rather long walk. Shen offered to fly ahead to make sure that this Lady Xuilan didn't leave before they arrived, but he was invariably dismissed. When they finally reached their destination, he was mildly surprised to see that the two unfamiliar figures were still there, waiting for them.

It was easy to tell who the supposed nobility was and who the bodyguard was. Lady Xuilan was a small bird of some sort, bearing a strong resemblance to some sort of falcon or hawk. Her white feathers were accented by black, comma-shaped markings around her crimson eyes. Her elaborate finery left her shoulders bare, and they could see that there were black markings there as well. She was draped in fine fabrics and various bits of jewelry, so she must have been wealthy, and yet none of them had ever heard of her before.

Ming, on the other hand, was a small furry creature who was only as tall as Xuilan, though her brilliantly patterned pelt was much more striking than the lady bird's monotone feathers. She wore a gold-piped black uniform and carried a bow and quiver of arrows on her back. Her eyes kept flitting side to side in a wary, almost nervous way.

"Ah, you're finally here," said Xuilan impatiently, as if she was a teacher waiting for a late pupil and not a guest waiting for the masters of the city. "It's about time."

Storming Ox seemed rather put out by her rudeness, but he forced himself to remain calm as he answered, "Greetings, madam. What is your business here?"

"I'm here to demand compensation," Xuilan sniffed.

"Compensation?" exclaimed Croc. "For what? We don't even know who you are…"

"I am the daughter of Lady Mai Ying," she answered stiffly.

Storming Ox and Croc both stiffened, a result that she seemed to have anticipated.

"That's right," she continued, coming forward in such a way that she seemed to glide. "You didn't know that she had a family, did you? Perhaps you should have considered that before you cast her out."

"It wasn't us that made that decision," Croc pointed out uncomfortably. "We had no say in it."

"Oh? Well, you do have a say in the matter now. All I want is compensation."

Storming Ox seemed to be stifling an eye roll. "You don't need to sound so dramatic. What is it that you want? Money?"

"I want my mother's former position and my family's house."

"Well, both of those are currently occupied."

"I don't care. They belong to me, and I expect you to return them to me."

"Just a moment," Shen spoke up, stepping forward. "Exactly who do you think you are, Lady Xuilan? You can't just barge in here and demand that the leaders of the city give you compensation for an event that's ancient history. Where would they be if they did that for everyone?"

Storming Ox and Croc looked at the peacock in surprise. They hadn't expected Shen to speak up for them, especially since he was essentially renouncing the same behavior that he himself had exhibited only a few years earlier. That was part of the reason why Shen had broken his silence, however; this woman reminded him far too much of his old self.

Xuilan's eyes narrowed as they trained upon him. She seemed to know who he was, despite the fact that he'd never heard of her or of this Lady Mai Ying. He was relatively infamous, of course, so he wasn't surprised. "So you're the prince who caused my family so much trouble," she growled softly.

"Perhaps I am," Shen responded plainly. "But I don't know anything about your family, so it's hard for me to say."

"Stop interfering in my affairs," she snapped. "You've already interfered enough, whether you know it or not."

Shen happened to glance over his shoulder. Xun was clearly giving him a look that said, _Back off, this is none of your business._ He knew that his friend was probably right, but prepared to press on anyway. Fortunately, Storming Ox and Croc intervened just then.

"Well, if you thought that we'd just give you what you wanted immediately, then sadly you're mistaken," declared Croc.

"If you really want to sort this out with us, then you need to find someplace to stay and come back tomorrow, because we're very busy," added Storming Ox. "We won't be able to see you before then."

Xuilan opened her beak as if to protest, then snapped it shut. "Very well. I didn't expect that I'd get very far with you two." She gestured to her bodyguard. "Come on, Ming, we're leaving."

Shen's gaze shifted to Ming, and he realized with a pang of sock that she had been holding an arrow level with his chest the entire time. Not only that, but unlike Xuilan, she hadn't spoken a word. Her expression didn't shift in the slightest as she lowered her weapon.

He instinctively stepped backwards, coming to a stop besides Xun. Shen mouthed the word "_creepy_" to his friend.

The two mysterious ladies brushed past them on their way out, and Xuilan shot off one last venomous glare at Shen before the gates were slammed shut behind her.

Shen exhaled, realizing how brief and confusing that encounter had been. "What's going on?" he asked aloud, to no one in particular.

"What's going on is that things are about to get much too complicated," grumbled Storming Ox.

* * *

_A/N - I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to mention this in the story, so I'll say it here: Xuilan is a black-shouldered kite and Ming is a spotted linsang. Both are species indigenous to China._

_Happy Halloween, everyone! Your treat is the longest chapter yet, which is also the first to feature OCs. Now, trick or treat - WHY AREN'T YOU REVIEWING?_


	5. The second visitors

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 5: The second visitors_

"After the deaths of Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam," Storming Ox began, "there was quite a power vacuum left here, as you can imagine. People from all over the country – all over the _continent_ – swarmed here, claiming that they were great politicians and deserved a seat of power. Lady Mai Ying was one of those people."

Shen, Xun, and the two masters were seated around the kitchen table in the dormitory, discussing the puzzling visit. More than anything, Shen wanted to know why this Lady Xuilan thought that she had the right to make such demands. It turned out that Storming Ox was right about things getting overcomplicated.

"Mai Ying and her family had lived in the city for years, trying to pose as sort of half-baked nobles. She and her husband were vain and pretentious, constantly trying to convince people of their aristocratic merits. Your parents never liked them, Shen, but it was easier just to throw them a bone once in a while than to try and get rid of them. For a long time they didn't do anything worse than making nuisances of themselves. They had a baby, Mai Ying's husband died somehow, and she kept bragging to everyone about how wonderful she was. But in those confusing times before the Masters Council was established, she saw an opportunity to gain more power."

"Let me guess," interrupted Shen, his voice dry and faintly tinged with sarcasm. "She tried to attack somebody or something and got herself banished."

"That's the gist of it, yes," agreed Croc wryly. "Master Thundering Rhino was pretty much running the show for a while, and she presented herself to him as a candidate for the next ruler. He refused her. A few weeks later, he formed the Masters Council. She was a kung fu master herself, so she was enraged that she hadn't been appointed to it and challenged him to a duel. She lost, of course." He wanted to say, "No one could ever beat Master Thundering Rhino," but, considering his present company, thought better of it.

"She sounds lovely." Shen folded his hands on the table. "So, Xuilan is her daughter? I'm assuming that her upbringing was very bitter and hate-filled. But she must have only been a child when all that happened…why did Master Thundering Rhino banish her as well?"

Storming Ox shrugged. "I don't think he knew. He banished Mai Ying, and Mai Ying probably fled the city in a rage, taking her daughter with her. And now we have the daughter to deal with."

"So, how are we gonna deal with her?" Xun spoke up. "She might be a threat. She has that creepy bodyguard…"

"Even if Xuilan knows kung fu, we're more than a match for her and Ming," responded Croc dismissively.

"She could have outside forces waiting," Shen pointed out. "There's no telling what she did in exile."

"True," answered Storming Ox thoughtfully. "But let's try to deal with her peacefully for now. I'll send a message to our political advisors. In the meantime, Master Shen, we might want to try getting up those defenses ahead of schedule."

He and Croc departed to go find a messenger, leaving their guests seated silently at the table. Xun, ever ready to break an awkward silence, turned to his friend and grinned. "No pressure or anything."

Shen rolled his eyes.

…

Work seemed to be postponed as the Masters Council awaited the arrival of their "political advisors," who had promised to come right away. Shen, not knowing what he was supposed to be doing, milled around absently. Eventually he approached the masters and remarked, "I didn't even know you had a political advisor."

"We didn't have much use for these two before," said Croc. "But now that it's only us, we've learned that you need more than fighting skills to run a city. The politics used to be handled by…"

Out of politeness, he trailed off, but Shen still flattened his crest and looked away. He knew what they meant, of course. Master Thundering Rhino had been the one to handle the political side of things in Gongmen, before being killed by Shen. This brought Shen back to his thoughts from earlier that morning: _If your master is slaughtered by a crazy person with a cannon, why would you invite that crazy person to make MORE cannons_?

"You might want to stick around and meet them," commented Storming Ox into the subsequent dead silence. "Jie Xifeng and his wife are peacocks, too."

"The proper term is peafowl," Shen corrected absently, before blinking as the meaning of that statement sank in. "Really? They are? I had no idea that there were other peafowl in the city…are they related to me, by any chance?"

"I don't think so. They're not even from this country…they came from some island somewhere, during that same power vacuum time. I'm sure Xuilan probably hates them, too, but they might actually know how to deal with her."

Shen had heard enough to be intrigued about the Xifengs. He agreed to meet with them once they arrived and went back to his previous activities of waiting for something interesting to happen.

Not fifteen minutes later, while he was in his room mediating, he heard the muffled voice of a servant announcing somebody's arrival and the indistinct sounds of Storming Ox and Croc offering greetings to someone. He stepped out of his room silently, careful not to intrude on any conversations that might be going on. Sure enough, a peacock and a peahen had just been welcomed inside the dormitory.

He approached them cautiously, unable to keep from staring in curiosity. The Xifengs were unlike any peafowl he had ever seen. Of course, his idea of what a normal peafowl looked like was based on the appearances of his late mother and father and maybe a few cousins he had briefly met during his childhood. These two looked entirely different.

Master Storming Ox noticed him and cleared his throat. "Shen, meet Jie and Yue Xifeng. Jie, Yue, this is Lord – I mean, Master Shen."

"Master Shen, eh? I've heard of you!" exclaimed Jie, and Shen found his wing being pumped so rapidly that he could only blink in surprise and try not to look too stupid. "It's a pleasure to meet you, a real pleasure…"

Jie spoke with a slight accent, one that Shen couldn't place. He was an extremely colorful peacock, his feathers dappled with a hundred shades of green and blue and teal and yellow and orange and who knew what else. The eyespots on his train seemed to wink boastingly at everyone who looked upon them. If Shen had thought his coloration to be pale and uninteresting compared to his father's, then he was downright invisible next to Jie.

"Darling, let up on him," scolded Yue, wrenching her husband back. Her accent was a bit thicker than Jie's, and her colors were nearly as vibrant. She was a stunningly beautiful peahen, and it seemed that only the lack of a fan tail made her less striking than Jie. Shen was accustomed to peahens being duller than their male counterparts, and he found his eyes being constantly drawn back toher.

"It is nice to meet you," she told Shen, smiling.

"The same to you." He bowed. "You're both…political advisors, is that correct?"

"Oh yes, yes," answered Yue enthusiastically. "We have been for thirty years, darling, and we've never met you but we've heard of you. We're not very powerful, we mostly just get a few little assignments here and there, but my husband and I would be lying if we said we did not enjoy it! And when we were told about this Lady Xuilan it sounded very interesting, too interesting an opportunity to pass up…"

"That's enough, my love," Jie hushed her. He looked at Shen apologetically. "My wife is something of a chatterbox."

Shen nodded dumbly, a bit caught off-guard by her fast pace and overly emphatic tone.

"Why don't you all come and sit down in the kitchen?" offered Croc, and after a few general sounds of agreement were made, that was just where they headed.

Shen happened to be the first one to the kitchen, where he found Xun licking his fingers after apparently having a snack. He gripped the wolf's shoulder and hissed, "Xun, I swear to the gods you're as bad as the panda! And we have guests."

"Wha? More guests?" Xun's head swiveled as Jie and Yue were escorted into the kitchen. "Well, who are they?"

"They're political advisors, and they're here to talk about Lady Xuilan." With that Shen held up a long feathered finger to his beak, indicating that they should probably shut up now, and hurried over to the table so that he wouldn't be left out of the conversation.

He needn't have worried, however; the conversation was currently just more of Yue's chattering. "I cannot believe that you two gentlemen are still not married! Shouldn't the rulers of the city have wives? Wives will help your careers! I helped my husband's career when he married me!"

"Yes, yes, of course," Storming Ox agreed vaguely. He didn't appear to be very good at making small talk. "Er…how is your daughter?"

Right then Shen realized that things were about to take a turn for the intriguing, as Jie's oddly stiff, straight crest drooped at the mention of the word "daughter." Yue's eyes turned sad, and she clicked her tongue. "She is doing poorly!" she declared. "She is doing very, very poorly. She is having more of those, what do they call them…panic attacks."

Shen sat forward immediately upon hearing those two words. "Panic attacks? You have a daughter who has panic attacks?"

Jie shot his wife a glare; it seemed that he hadn't wanted her to mention that. But he submitted, "Yes, our daughter has suffered from panic attacks since she was a chick. It's very concerning, really…"

"We simply have no idea what to do with her!" Yue produced a fan from her sleeve and proceeded to laboriously air herself out with it. "We have summoned the best healers from all around China, they have given her their best medicines, and no one can help her. I sometimes think that she is getting worse. She cannot support herself, and she cannot stay with us forever. But since she is a cripple – "

"Just because she has panic attacks doesn't mean that she's a cripple," Shen couldn't help but point out.

"Oh, but she is! She thinks that she can make a living from her writing, but not a printer in the city wants prose from someone with her condition. You do not understand how badly off she is. At this point we have two choices. We can send her to an asylum, or we can marry her off to someone who will support her. But she is nearly too old to be married, and we cannot find a willing husband…"

Shen leaned back in his chair, stunned. He remembered his earlier thought, wondering that morning if anyone else in Gongmen City suffered from panic attacks; well, now he had his answer, and then some. He'd had no idea that having those attacks was perceived so badly. It was just a little irrational fear and a few physical symptoms, nothing that you would call someone a _cripple_ over. Immediately, his heart went out to this daughter who was being talked about so negatively by her parents.

And there was more, too…the wording they'd used. They had called her panic attacks a "condition." That was Shen's least favorite word, because when he was growing up, his albinism and weak immune system had forever been referred to as his "condition." It had debilitated him, of course, but even more debilitating was everyone's perception of him. He really felt sympathy for this daughter now. She was thought to be an invalid, so incapacitated by what people thought of her that she was unable to be self-supporting. Somehow he felt that she was a kindred spirit to him. And if her parents weren't careful, she could end up being just as insane as he had once been.

There had to be something he could do for her. Some way that he could get her to a place where she could be herself and people would listen to her…but no sooner had he had that thought then his brain promptly delivered him a plan of action. He breathed out, steeling himself.

"Well, I know of a willing husband for her," he said calmly. He knew what the reaction to his next word was going to be, but he forced his voice to remain steady as he announced, "Me."

* * *

_A/N - It should be mentioned that Jie, Yue, and their daughter are not Indian peafowl like Shen. They are Java green peafowl. _

_Oh, and...that's all the reviews I get, huh? ...whatever._


	6. Good intentions

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 6: Good intentions_

"What?" spluttered Xun, looking like someone had just given him a hard shove in the stomach.

"What?" cried Masters Storming Ox and Croc in unison, both of them seeming certain that they hadn't heard correctly.

"Really?" exclaimed Yue eagerly, a broad grin stretching over her beak as she leaned forward.

"Okay, I'm dreaming this, right?" Xun rubbed his furry head, shooting Shen a meaningful look. "Please tell me I'm dreaming this."

Shen glanced over at the wolf, hoping that his eyes were sending the message _I'll explain later_, before turning back to Jie and Yue and forcing his tone to remain calm and unimpeded. "You heard me. I said that I'll marry your daughter."

Jie was blinking rapidly. "You _will_? But…you don't even know her!"

"Perhaps not, but I do know a thing or two about panic attacks."

"You do?" demanded Master Croc disbelievingly, glaring at the peacock suspiciously.

"Yes, I do," answered Shen without missing a beat, glaring right back.

"This is all very abrupt…" Jie rubbed his head. "I'm not certain if I know why you would want to propose to our daughter so suddenly like this."

"Please, sir, I assure you that I have good intentions. Don't question my motivation…"

"Well, I'm questioning your motivation," he heard Xun mutter behind him. "As well as your sanity."

Before he could hiss at his friend to be quiet, Yue gripped his wings and yanked him towards her, pulling him out of his chair with nearly enough force to dislocate his shoulders while simultaneously cutting off the circulation in his hands. "Oh thank you, thank you, Master Shen!" she practically squealed. "I cannot tell you how much this means to me! To think, my little Lanying finally married off to a good husband!"

"A good husband, right." A touch of ice had crept into Jie's expression. Shen didn't blame him for that; dealing with a former warlord hadn't been a huge deal before, but now that the well-being of his daughter was at stake, he was suddenly much more concerned about his present company. A logical progression.

"He has a solid reformation record, I'll give him that," grumbled Storming Ox. "Although sometimes, his behavior can be _extremely confusing_."

"But nowadays, people usually agree that my actions _make sense in time_," added Shen pointedly.

"Oh, the masters have told us all about you, darling!" Yue clapped her hands delightedly. "We know how hard you have been working the past few years. You're here now to work on the city's defense system, is that right?"

"Er, yes, I am," he managed, still thrown off by her vigorous enthusiasm.

She leaned across the table and clasped the hoof of Storming Ox. "Masters, you have no idea how perfect this is. I thank you so much for introducing me to Master Shen! What a payment for this little assignment!"

"Which reminds me," Jie interjected, "we still have to deal with Lady Xuilan…"

Yue waved her wing dismissively. "Oh, so dramatic, dear! We've handled people like her so many times before. We can discuss it tonight, and come back first thing tomorrow morning to deal with this troublesome lady. And also bring Lanying to meet Shen!"

"But…well, I suppose that would be all right." Jie's rigid crest drooped slightly in resignation. He turned to Shen, his eyes carrying that serious and faintly concerned look that Shen had so often seen on his own father. "Are you sure you're prepared for a marriage? Especially to our daughter…as we said, she's considered to be an invalid."

"What you've told me has made me genuinely concerned about her," Shen answered honestly. "And yes, I'm prepared for a marriage. I have a stable home in the Valley of Peace, and I'm about to come into quite a bit of money for my work on Gongmen City's defenses." Saying this served to remind him that yes, he actually was going to be paid for what he was doing on this little trip, and he wondered what he would ultimately do with the money.

Because he wasn't actually planning to get married.

Jie nodded quietly and stepped back, seemingly satisfied. "You seem to be telling the truth. I hope you are, anyway, because our daughter Lanying will need a lot of support. As it is we have to keep her all but locked in her room…we wouldn't want her to have one of those panic attacks in public, would we?"

"No, I suppose you wouldn't," Shen agreed, even though he was, if anything, further mortified by hearing that they had turned this girl into a shut-in. What did they think she was, a psychopath? She was having episodes of extreme anxiety, not embarking on killing sprees! Of course, this was now giving him even more reason to hide his own panic attacks; considering his history in this city, he would probably be thrown in jail if the general populace ever found out.

"We will tell our daughter the news," said Yue excitedly. "We'll be back with her first thing tomorrow morning! Masters, tell your Lady Xuilan that we will meet with her at noon. You won't have to deal with her anymore after that, I assure you."

"Well we…thank you…for that…very much." Storming Ox was speaking through gritted teeth. "We do appreciate your help, both of you."

"And we appreciate yours!" Yue wrenched her husband up from his seat and threaded her wing through his. "We'll see you all tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Shen bowed, tucking his hands into his sleeves in a typical masterly fashion. "I can't wait."

…

Once the sounds of Yue's elated chattering had faded away, Xun announced, "Okay, Shen, you have fifteen seconds to explain what you just did. _Go_."

Shen was very prepared for this. "Don't worry, I have a plan. You need to hear me out on this. First of all, I'm not really going to marry their daughter."

"Then why did you – " Xun started, only to find himself silenced by a raised wing.

"However, I am interested in helping her. It might be foolish, but I can't help but feel bad for anyone who's being downtrodden by their parents on account of an uncontrollable condition." He cleared his throat. "What I'm intending to do is to take this girl – Lanying, if that's her name – back to the Valley of Peace. That way she can be in an environment where people aren't thinking of her as a cripple. She'd probably be perfectly self-supporting if given a chance, and the marriage won't happen anyway because, let's face it, no woman in her right mind would consent to marry me. Particularly not one from Gongmen."

There was silence all around as everyone considered this.

"Well, that's more plausible than I thought," Storming Ox finally spoke up. "I never thought of you as one to take on a charity case, Shen."

Shen shrugged. He didn't want to get into the whole panic attacks issue.

"Jie and Yue aren't going to be happy when they realize that their daughter isn't really getting married," Croc pointed out.

"I'll tell their daughter to keep up the pretense for a while. Then, once she proves herself to be capable of taking care of herself, she can tell her parents the truth. They might be shocked, but I'm sure they'll be proud of her once they see that she can make something of herself. After all, they're her parents."

Xun was the only one who really read between the lines of that statement. Shen had realized the similarities between his own disadvantages when he was younger and those of the Xifengs' daughter. If someone had given Shen the opportunity to prove himself capable when he was growing up, then he wouldn't have been stuck trying to manufacture his own success, desperately striving for his parents' attention, turning to explosives and genocide and insanity to carve his path in life.

Over the past few years, he had proven himself to be devoted to his reformation. He had helped Kurisu, Xun, and Lady Biming, righting the wrongs that he had done to each of them. This was the first time that he would be faced with assisting someone who he didn't even know – a complete charity case. Despite themselves, everyone was interested to see how this would turn out.

Just then, the soothsayer appeared in the kitchen doorway, her arms stacked with the parcels that must have been the fruits of her morning shopping trip. "What's going on?" she asked, placing her load down on the table. "Why are you all gathered in the kitchen like this?"

"Shen's getting married," Xun said point-blank.

"Xun!" Shen snapped, and then smiled weakly when he saw his nanny's stunned expression. "Look, I can explain…"

…

Lanying Xifeng had been in her room painting when she received the news.

Up until then, her day had been normal. She'd spent the morning staring out her window at the city that was now virtually forbidden to her. Oh, she could have snuck out, of course, especially since her parents were called away during the afternoon for an assignment. She had snuck out quite often in her younger, more rebellious years. But now she was older and her view of life was stilted, and she didn't see much point in going out there. People knew who she was: that political advisor's daughter who had incurable fits, so don't get near her, she'll infect your unborn children…

Back when she was nineteen, Lanying had taken samples of her prose and artwork around the city, literally spending a day visiting every single printer who wasn't a scam artist. Of those printers, not one had wanted to give her a chance. Some called her writing boring and her artwork mediocre; others wouldn't give her a second glance simply because of who she was and what was known about her. That had been seven years ago, and she still hadn't lived it down.

When she had returned home from that day of disappointments, her parents had given her falsely sympathetic smiles that still stung her to this day. "_We told you so_," they'd said. "_We told you that your silly dreams were just that: impossible fantasies. You didn't believe us. Well, now you know._" That was what they had told her, their heartbroken daughter who had literally just suffered from dozens of rejections.

Oh, how she had wanted to prove that they were wrong, how she had longed to be successful and show them that she wasn't some mentally deficient cripple and she didn't need their support any longer! Even to this day she fantasized about her success and how her parents might react to it, even though she knew that her success was not going to come. She was long past the age of miracles. In fact she was so old that her parents had recently expressed concern that she was too old to marry. Marriage had been her last hope for escape, in the sense that at least it would get her away from her awful parents. Now it seemed that she would have to give up even that shallow hope.

Lanying had been mulling over such thoughts that day as she painted a landscape, her envisioning of what Gongmen City would look like once the Tower of the Sacred Flame was standing over it once more. The walls of her bedroom were layered with similar pictures, some done in paint and some done in inks; many of her pieces were realistic representations of the world beyond her hemmed-in environment, while others were fantastic imaginings of what her life could have been like. They depicted images of her being praised, being triumphant…being happy. Such pictures were her only form of freedom, even if on her worst days, looking at them only served to make her sadder.

As usual, she found herself stuck on a certain aspect of today's image…in this case, whether or not she should depict the Tower of the Sacred Flame as a comforting guardian, or an oppressive watchman. She was tilting her head at the painting and wondering what approach to take when she heard a voice call from the front room, "Lanying, would you come here, please?"

She cleared her throat in irritation. Why did her parents have to come home so soon? "Coming, mother," she shouted back, quickly setting down her painting supplies on a splattered table and hurrying out to meet her mother and father.

Predictably, Yue scoffed in disgust as soon as Lanying was within her sight. "Oh, look at you! You're filthy! Why can't you pay attention to making yourself look presentable for once?"

Lanying glowered bitterly and didn't say anything. It was true that she was hardly decked out in her mother's idea of finery. She was wearing a threadbare, eggshell-colored robe that was blotched with various paint and ink stains, tied around her waist with a long, ragged sash. Still, she was stuck in the house all day, every day, so who did she have to impress?

Jie cleared his throat. "Lanying, my love, we have some interesting news for you – "

"Some very wonderful news!" Yue interrupted enthusiastically. "You've received an offer – you are going to be married!"

Lanying blinked. "Married? But…you said I was too old for – "

"Oh, I thought you _were_ too old for it; you're twenty-six, you're very nearly an old made. Nevertheless, you have received a proposal," Yue continued excitedly.

"Very well, then," Lanying sighed. An arranged marriage was certainly not the worst thing to ever happen to her. "Who am I being married to?"

"To a kung fu master whose name bears some weight. I daresay you've heard of him before." Jie cleared his throat. "You would know him as…Lord Shen."

Lanying gasped.

"Lord Shen?" she demanded shakily. "Do you mean the Lord Shen who slaughtered a village of pandas, who tried to take over China, who is considered to be criminally insane – THAT Lord Shen?"

"You are so dramatic, darling." Yue produced her fan and waved it at the younger peahen accusingly as she spoke. "Lord Shen has reformed now. Why, he is in the city because our very own Masters Council invited him to work on Gongmen's defense system! He seemed perfectly gentlemanlike when we met him, and he says that he is coming into quite a bit of money soon, so…"

Lanying clenched her fists. Out of all the insults her parents had dealt her, this was the worst, and that was really saying something. But what could she gain by speaking out against them? Nothing, except for another tongue lashing. She'd always suspected that they didn't care about her, but to engage her to a proven maniac…

Jie placed his hands on her shoulders. "My dear, I'll admit this is just as surprising to me as it is to you, but Master Shen seemed genuinely concerned when we told him about you. As far as I know, deception is not one of his greatest skills, and he really did seem sincere. Besides, we know we care about your well being and support, and, well, you probably won't receive another offer…"

Lanying only continued to glare. She had never said that she hated her parents – she'd never said that she loved them, but she'd never said that she hated them either. But that was only because she didn't have to. Her cold, bitter eyes said everything for her. It saddened Jie, whether she realized it or not.

"Just think of marriage as a release, Lanying," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "As a great escape of sorts…"

Her expression unchanged, she lifted up the hem of her robe, hurried into her room, and made sure to slam the door behind her.


	7. According to plan

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 7: According to plan_

The morning sun streaming through Lanying's bedroom window illuminated every minuscule detail of her unhappy reflection. Not even the thick layer of dust on her mirror was enough to conceal her tight, retracted posture, or the bitterness in her eyes. Today she was to meet the lunatic that her parents had engaged her to…and if they despaired once she ended up being a slave for the rest of her life, then it served them right.

Her mother had insisted that she wear her dress robe, which was normally saved for only special occasions. Lanying thought that it was a drab and tasteless garment. It was shapeless and black, and its purple-and-gold trim clashed with the long burgundy sash she was made to wear around her waist. It was not an outfit that would convince anyone to marry her, but she was already attached now, so she supposed Lord Shen didn't need any more persuading. She was certain that he would be using her for his own diabolical purposes, turning her into his mistress, the item of ultimate pleasure for him. She shuddered to think of it.

Out in the sitting room, her parents were conversing loudly in their native Javanese tongue. Lanying could not speak Javanese; her parents had hired a private tutor for her so that she could speak without so much as an accent, but they didn't know that through listening to their language nearly from the time she was born, she was now able to understand what they were saying, even if she couldn't quite wrap her beak around the precise sounds required to speak the words. And she didn't want them to know that she could understand them, especially not at times like this, when it was a perfect opportunity to eavesdrop.

"_You must admit that Lanying is not exactly happy with the arrangement_," Jie was saying cautiously.

Yue sniffed. "_Lanying would not be happy if we wedded her off to Prince Charming. We are never good enough for that girl."_

Lanying bristled. How dare they say something like that? She was the one that could never satisfy her parents, no matter how hard she tried!

"_Besides_," her mother continued, "_this marriage is the only thing to keep her out of the asylum. No other man would want to have her hand. It was very kind of Master Shen to offer."_

"_Yes, I suppose that's true…"_

Lanying's eyes narrowed hatefully. Her parents always treated her as if the fact that she had panic attacks was her fault, as if she could simply stop having them if she tried hard enough. She wished it were that simple. Her attacks weren't an attention-seeking device, nor were they within her control at all. They were terrifying, uncomfortable experiences that she had always had to suffer through on her own, even though sometimes, when she was alone in bed at night and feeling the trembles overtake her limbs and her heart flutter from palpitations…sometimes when she felt the fear sink in and unreality wash over her, all she really wanted was _someone_ to cling to, someone to comfort her and understand how she felt, someone to let her know that she was real and that things would be okay, the way her parents never did. Other people had the chance to marry for love, but someone with her _condition_ could only hope to wind up with someone who wouldn't treat her too harshly.

And now it seemed that even that had been taken away from her.

"_I'll admit that Shen seemed concerned for her when we met him_," Jie continued, "_but what if he and Lanying don't like each other?"_

"_As if that has anything to do with marriage!" _scoffed Yue. "_We didn't like each other when we were wed, now did we?"_

"_No, we didn't…"_

"_Marriage is nothing but a partnership. You'd think a lifetime watching us might have taught her that."_

"_But if Shen decides that she's not right for him, he has the power to break off the engagement."_

"_Yes, which is why she had better shape up and actually act like a lady today. Everything must go according to plan!"_

…

Shen spent the morning poring over a large old map of Gongmen City with a calligraphy brush in his hand, inking in crude sketches of his ideas for defense mechanisms. Even though he could paint things that resembled artwork when he felt like it, this was simply a rough diagram for his own convenience, so his additions were mostly rectangles of various sizes with kanji labels hovering over them. He was just becoming heavily engrossed in this process when Xun popped his head into their room and said, "Uh, Shen? Isn't that girl who's your not-fiancée going to be here in a few minutes?"

Shen started. "Oh! Yes, that's right!" He set his brushes aside and scrambled to his feet. Much to his dismay, both his feathers and his robe were now decorated with various ink blotches. Even if he wasn't really going to marry the Xifengs' daughter, the least he could to was not look like a slob for their first meeting. After all, she'd probably heard everything she knew about him through rumors, and he wanted her to know that he was genuinely on her side.

He quickly freshened up to get rid of the black stains on his white feathers and changed into a new robe, bringing the dirty one to the soothsayer. "Nana, do you think you could get these stains out for me?" he asked.

She lifted the garment from his hands and examined the ink blots, before her eyes flickered up to him curiously. "Why, darling, you're wearing your silk robe."

Shen's breath hitched. His nanny knew that he was not a fan of dressing in silk anymore, and that almost all of his clothes were made of cotton or hemp. But yes, he had decided to wear one of his only silk dress robes in preparation for meeting Miss Xifeng. And yes, it had been a conscious decision.

He shook his head to clear it. "Well, I want to make a good impression on the Xifengs' daughter. Is that such a crime?"

"No." The soothsayer was smirking now.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Nana, I already told you, I'm not actually going to marry this girl. She wouldn't want to marry me anyway."

"Oh, if you say so." But she still had that familiar know-it-all look in her eyes, one that Shen could identify in a minute.

"You've been looking into your bowl, haven't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I know you. I can tell."

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen, dear…"

"Nana, if you're trying to play matchmaker, I assure you that you shouldn't waste your time. I want to help this girl so that she doesn't end up like me. I'm not interested in marriage."

"Whatever you say."

Suddenly, from out in the hall, he heard a servant announcing, "The Xifengs have arrived!"

"Oh, I had better go…" Shen ran his long feathered fingers tenuously over his crest. All he had to do was act kind, sincere, and gentlemanly, and hopefully soon he'd be able to tell Miss Xifeng what his plan was. And perhaps she might be able to give him some insight into his panic attacks. After all, if she'd been having them for years as her parents had said, she had to know more about them than him…

…

It was a pleasantly crisp autumn day, so they met outside, in a sort of tranquility garden that had been erected until a proper courtyard could be built. Shen recognized the Xifengs immediately, enthusiastically beaming Yue and slightly nervous Jie. Standing behind them was a smaller peahen draped in a long dark robe, her head bowed.

"Master Shen," Yue introduced them eagerly, "this is our daughter Lanying. Lanying, this is Master Shen."

Lanying stepped forward, raising her eyes to meet Shen's only for an instant. He examined her briefly, noticing that she had the same pretty features and bold coloration as her mother, but…something was off. Her vibrant tones seemed to be slightly muted, her feathers just a tiny bit more ruffled and unkempt. Her clothes didn't fit her as well. She looked like someone who had been sleeping restlessly for weeks or months on end, trying to keep up her appearances but unable to keep some of her weariness from showing through. And although she refused to look at him, it didn't seem to be shyness that was holding her back – it was bitterness.

Nevertheless, Shen bowed respectfully to her. "Greetings, Miss Xifeng."

"Greetings," she echoed, her expression never changing.

He cleared his throat, promising himself that he wouldn't be turned off by this chilly reception. "I'm sure that this entire situation has come as a surprise to you."

"Yes," she answered simply, her eyes still cool.

"I assure you that things…aren't as bleak as you may think." He cleared his throat. "Perhaps we could take a walk around the grounds…?"

"No, no," Yue interjected crossly. "It's too chilly for that. Lanying should not be out in the cold like this. We must go inside."

"All right, fine." Shen exhaled roughly; his first opportunity to explain things to his not-fiancée had gone out the window. He could have sworn that he saw Lanying roll her eyes a bit at her parents' treatment of her, as if she were sickly and weak instead of prone to occasional panic attacks. He imagined that she wasn't very happy about them abruptly signing her off into an arranged marriage. Well, hopefully before she left, he could take her aside and clue her in on his plan. Surely Jie and Yue wouldn't object to a newly "engaged" couple going off by themselves for a while…

Except it seemed that they were. Shen indicated several times that he wanted to be alone with Lanying, and her parents constantly refuted him. Whether it was intentional or not he had no idea, but their behavior was certainly making things much more difficult. Not to mention, during the entire visit Lanying kept her fists clenched, her voice cold, and her eyes locked in a glare. She would only speak when spoken to, and even then her responses would only be one or two words in length. Shen wasn't sure if he found the way she was acting justifiable or not. All right, obviously she had familial issues and wasn't thrilled about her current attachment to a former warlord, but she wasn't even trying to make the best out of her situation.

Either way, the meeting seemed to be a failure by both of their standards. Shen did not get to tell Lanying the one crucial piece of information that she really needed to know, and Lanying was not convinced that Shen wasn't going to use her for his own diabolical purposes despite his apparent politeness. Less than an hour after their arrival, Jie and Yue realized that they would soon be due for their meeting with Lady Xuilan; they bid Shen goodbye and left, preparing to rush their daughter home (presumably so that she wouldn't have a random panic attack and embarrass them).

Shen felt frustrated by this entire turn of events and returned to his mapmaking, only to be approached almost immediately by Xun, the soothsayer, and the Gongmen City masters.

"So, how did it go?" asked Xun eagerly.

"Not so well," Shen sighed. "Her parents were constantly hovering over her – I couldn't get her alone to tell her about my plan."

"Well, you had better figure out a way to talk to her soon," said Storming Ox.

"But make sure her parents don't find out," added Croc. "They'll probably come after us if they figure out what you're doing."

"They're definitely downplaying her. I feel bad for her in that respect." Shen pushed his fingers through his crest. "She definitely doesn't like her family very much…and she seems to hate me."

"Oh, she'll warm up to you," the soothsayer assured him. The smirk on her face hadn't wavered for one second.

"We'll see, Nana. We'll see…"


	8. The past catches up

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 8: The past catches up_

Lady Xuilan was appalled at the treatment she was receiving. She bit back the insults roiling on her tongue and restrained the want of attack making her muscles twitch as she listed to Political Advisor Xifeng and his wife rattling off the precise laws that prevented her from taking her power. Ming kept trying to catch her eye, watching for the discreet hand signal that meant to raise her bow and arrow and keep Jie Xifeng under threat of death, but the gesture never came. Xuilan knew that she wouldn't get anything from assassinating, or attempting to assassinate, the political advisor to the Master's Council. For the time being, she needed to stay on the Council's good side.

Besides, the political advisors didn't really care about what she had to say or what points she made. Thanks to Yue Xifeng's constant babbling, Xuilan was aware that Lord Shen had bribed them into denying her through marrying their cripple daughter. A clever scheme, but not unexpected. She wouldn't have put it past that treacherous peacock to pull an underhanded move like that. He had caused her family to fall from grace, tried to take over Gongmen City…and now, out of nowhere, he was being trusted again.

"He's the one we want," Xuilan told Ming later that day, pacing fervently around their rented room in a local travelers' house. "Lord Shen. The council must be in league with him. Well, we'll show him. He's standing in my way – we'll get rid of him."

Ming stood at attention, probably anticipating that she was about to be given an assassination order. She never protested or even commented on her mistress's plans. That was probably because she couldn't speak at all. She lacked a tongue. Xuilan never mentioned if this had been a nasty accident or some form of punishment, but if you talked to her long enough, she might imply with a smirk that she preferred her servants to be as compliant as possible. Only Ming knew for sure what had happened, and she was unable to tell anyone.

"Not yet, Ming," continued Xuilan. "We have to bide our time for a while. Unlike that peacock, we'll make sure that no one thinks we're a threat. But if we wait too long, we'll be on our own. There's going to be new defenses that will seal off the city from potential attackers…so we won't be able to get assistance if they're too far along in there completion…but do we really need assistance? Surely we can handle such a simple task on our own…"

She continued to ramble on, more to herself than to Ming, laying out her situation for nearly the entire night.

…

Shen had to admit that there was one advantage to being kept so busy: he didn't have enough time to worry about or even contemplate his panic attacks. During the day after his first meeting with Lanying, he found his head stuffed so full of both plans for the defense system and ideas about his current "engagement" that irrational fear was the last thing on his mind. He talked to Xun about both topics a great deal as he sketched designs for specialty cannons, although the latter seemed to come up somewhat more often.

"Maybe you should just call the whole thing off, Shen," Xun was saying, sitting cross-legged on his bed as he watched the swift movements of his friend's calligraphy brush. "Lanying didn't seem the slightest bit interested…"

"Well, that's good. I don't actually want to marry her, after all," Shen answered mildly.

"Still, did you see how closed up she was? She's not going to listen to you when you tell her what your real intentions are. And even if she does, she won't be very good at acting like she's okay with getting hitched to you – she'll be really eager to finally escape from the whole thing. I bet she'll blow your cover."

"Look, Xun, give her a bit of credit. She obviously has problems of her own. I doubt she would have glared at her parents any more fiercely if they had decided to actually send her to an asylum."

"Well, that's why you want to help her in the first place, right? The parents thing."

Shen sighed, gathering fresh ink on his brush and swirling it over the scroll he was drawing on. "It's not just that. Think about your upbringing, Xun. How did your parents treat you?"

Xun's ears drooped. "They yelled at me," he muttered. "When they weren't too busy screaming at each other, that is."

"And my parents hardly paid me any mind when I was a child. Do you think that if we'd been raised normally, we wouldn't have turned out the way we are?"

"Maybe. There's no way to tell for sure."

"When I was a chick, I thought that every other child in the city must have it better than me." Shen looked down at the design he had produced, remembering all the times in his youth that he had experimented with the capabilities of explosives, trying to make his parents proud when in reality he had only caused them more concern. "Now I realize that's not true. Plenty of children are born with a disadvantage that they can't control, whether that's having a deformity, suffering from panic attacks, or being a bad color, bad omen." His crest flattened slightly. "Not all parents nurture them through such trials. Sometimes it's easier to just cover your ears, close your eyes, and pretend that everything is normal. You saw how bitter Lanying was. Well, I'd be willing to bet that's because she's never had anyone willing to listen to her. And I don't want her to end up like me."

"Well, you're doing all right now, aren't you?"

"Yes, but that's only because I was given a second chance. Not everyone has an opportunity like I had. That's what I want to do for Lanying – give her an opportunity, so that she can show her parents that she's not worthless."

Just then, someone rapped on the door quietly. Master Croc entered without waiting to be told to come in. He was carrying an old crate filled with unrecognizable objects. "Master Shen?"

"Yes?" Shen set his brushes aside as he stood up.

"I have something for you…it's some of your old possessions that were salvaged from the Tower of the Sacred Flame. We kept meaning to give them to you, but with everything that's been going on…"

Shen's breath caught in his throat. He reached out and took the box in his wings tentatively, as if he were handling a weak and fragile infant. Staring into its depths that seemed infinite to him, he was confronted with a vast array of broken, but not destroyed, items. There were slightly singed scrolls bearing the likenesses of him as a child and his parents…there was a set of elaborate ivory dominoes that he recalled always wanting to play with when he was very young, even though his father told him that they were just for show…there was a charred but still recognizable caterpillar toy that had been his constant companion throughout his earliest years. All thoughts of Lanying instantly left his mind.

Croc felt it as Shen distanced himself almost physically from reality; he excused himself, ducking back out into the hall. Shen continued to stare into the box for what felt like hours, not daring to touch a single item, until at last the bubble of sadness that had been growing within him burst. He placed the crate on the bed and bent over it, squeezing his eyes shut as the bad memories of his past clamped their massive maw around him.

Xun bit his lip. "Shen, a-are you okay?"

Shen shook his head slowly – perhaps dismissing his friend's question, or perhaps answering in the negative, Xun couldn't tell. He watched as the peacock straightened up and walked over to his trunk of belongings, removing a dark travelling cloak.

"W-where are you going?" stammered Xun.

"Out," answered Shen dully. Drawing the cloak around his shoulders, he slipped unnoticed out of the dormitory and made his way into the midday crowds of Gongmen City.

His first stop was a flower vendor's cart, the owner of which was surprised and a tad frightened upon seeing who her customer was. The dark cloak might have drawn attention away from Shen while he was moving through masses of people, but up close there was really no way for him to hide his white feathers, or his distinctive train. He politely asked for two white orchids, paid in full and told the vendor to keep the change, and headed for the small cemetery on the outskirts of the city.

It was a gray day, and very still; only the occasional breath of wind rustled the patches of weeds around the grave markers. Shen felt his eyes dampen slightly as he approached his parents' graves. He got down to his knees carefully and tenderly laid down the orchids he'd bought. "Hello, Mother, Father…I'm back again. I hope you're not too surprised to see me…"

Shen had been to his parents' graves a few times before. Whenever fate chanced to bring him near Gongmen, he felt that it was his duty to visit them. There were a few customs that he had developed; he always left them white flowers as an offering, and he always spoke to them as if they could hear him. And perhaps they could, but that wasn't for him to judge.

"Masters Storming Ox and Croc hired me to implement new defenses around the city. I know, I was surprised, too. Why would they trust me with a task like this? I'm not going to betray their trust, of course, I'm going to do the best job I can…because I promised you that I would do something great for the city. This is hardly something great, but it's the least I can do…I hope it counts.

"But…something strange has been happening to me. About two weeks ago now, I had a sudden panic attack. And I do mean sudden. There was no reason for it to happen, but I had two panic attacks within days of each other, and it's made me…well, frightened. What if this means I'm going crazy again? I tried to talk to Nana and Lady Biming about it, but they just told me not to worry. They don't understand…they've never had something like this happen to them before, so they can't possibly understand…you've had panic attacks before, Baba, haven't you? You must know how I feel…

"I've been putting on a brave face for everyone, but I'm afraid. I don't want to go back to the way I was. Please don't let me regress…"

Shen cleared his throat, trying to eliminate the choking threat of tears. "Well…I've been trying to distract myself, as well. I met two of the political advisors a few days ago, Jie and Yue Xifeng…they have a daughter who suffers from panic attacks. She's downtrodden by her parents and she doesn't like them very much. I'm going to help her live up to her full potential by bringing her back to the Valley of Peace…unfortunately, in order to do that, I've had to pretend to enter an engagement with her. I feel bad about lying to her and her family, but I couldn't think of a better plan. Do you think I'm doing the right thing? I'm only trying to help…"

He sighed. "Either way, there's not much I can do about it now. Hopefully this will work out. I don't know why everything has to be so…_intense_ with me. Maybe I shouldn't have even gotten involved in this, but Lanying reminds me so much of myself. She could end up turning into what I was if this situation continues. I don't think anyone should have to go through that. And…" He swallowed. "Mama, Baba, I know that you never meant to hurt me, but sometimes…sometimes you really did. But that doesn't mean that I miss you any less now…"

A sudden, definite breeze blew towards him just then. Unlike the gusts of wind before it, it was steady and even warm, and it felt like gentle fingers moving soothingly through his feathers. He smiled.

"Well, anyway, thank you for listening. I'm sorry that our visits have to be so one-sided now. I love you…"

Shen stood up, brushed off his robe, straightened the cloak around his shoulders, and turned around.

Lanying was behind him.

* * *

_A/N - Two days without an update? That's a new record. I'm sorry that this chapter is probably not all you expected it to be and more. But please review anyway._


	9. What lies within

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 9: What lies within_

Shen felt as dazed as if he had just surfaced from a dream. Was he losing his peripheral vision, or had he simply been that distracted? He could have sworn that the cemetery had been empty just a moment ago! And yet there was Lanying, standing a few yards behind him among a cluster of other grave markers, her wings dangling limply by her sides.

A torrent of conflicting emotions made his head spin – embarrassment, confusion, and even anger all threatening to gang up on his unprepared mind. What was she doing here? Her parents had said that they kept her a shut-in, so how had she gotten out into the city? She probably thought that he was even more of a nut now that she had heard him speaking at great lengths to no one…but still, how dare she trespass on a private, personal moment between him and his dead parents?

And, of course, exactly how much had she heard?

Lanying's face did not provide an answer to any of these questions. Her expression was blank, and her wings were hanging limply by her sides; and unlike the other time that Shen had met with her, she looked rather unkempt, as if she had entirely done away with maintaining per personal appearance. She was no longer wearing the elaborate dress robe that she had donned during their initial meeting, and her brown-gray smock and dark green cloak were just as shapeless and unflattering as that fancier garment, if quite a bit more dusty and threadbare. There were smears of what looked suspiciously like paint on her fingers and sleeves. She met his probably-stupidly-shocked face with an uninflected, unreadable expression.

Finally, Shen managed to make his vocal chords work. "What are you doing here?" he asked flatly.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she shot back in an irritatingly tippy tone of voice.

He bristled – not in a fiery-burst-of-temper way, but in an upset, that-was-an-inconsiderate-question way. "I happen to be visiting my parents' graves," he snapped. "I should think that I have all the reason in the world to be here."

"And I was in the city and happened to see you," she retorted plainly. "Forgive me for being curious as to where my _future husband_ goes in his spare time."

The emphasis she placed on "future husband" suggested that she had either misheard or misinterpreted the part of his monologue concerning his true plans for her. He exhaled roughly. "Just how much did you hear?"

She crossed her arms defensively. "All I heard was you speculating that, given my current situation, I could turn into a monster like you were. And then you were addressing your…dead parents, but that was of no interest to me."

Shen shut his eyes and shook his head, breathing out slowly. _She must think I'm a nutcase. _Still, she was being rather rude. Maybe she hadn't caught what he'd said about not really intending to marry her, but could she really not see that he was only trying to help her?

All he could think of to say was, "What were you even doing in the city? Your parents mentioned that you don't go out much…"

Lanying flared briefly; her violet eyes flashed in anger, although her voice remained cool and bitter. "I see. And did they happen to mention that the reason I don't go out much is because they force me to stay locked away?"

"Not in such terms, no. But I figured – "

"I don't have any _reason_ to leave my room, no friends to speak of, no errands to run, and I know exactly what everyone thinks of me. But I do go a bit stir-crazy sometimes, and, well, I'm sorry for following you, but I didn't know what else I should do! I needed some air, I was curious and a bit frightened about where you might be going…and forgive me for not being thrilled about our upcoming marriage, but think about what this is like for me!"

"I _am_ thinking about what this is like for you," insisted Shen, exasperated. "Will you allow me a moment to explain myself?"

"I don't need you to explain yourself! I'm very used to being taken advantage of because of my condition, I assure you. You wanted a wife, so you figured that you'd take the easy catch, the one who suffers from panic attacks and can't afford to protest – that's it, isn't it?"

"That's not it at all." Shen was surprised by how calm and patient he managed to sound. "Miss Xifeng, listen to me for once. I know that all you know about me you've heard from rumors. Didn't you ever think that there might be more to me than what the public saw? I know what it's like to have your parents be ashamed of you for something you can't control and try to hide you from everyone. And I'm not prejudiced against you because of your panic attacks…I have them, too."

For the first time, Lanying seemed to grasp something of the world beyond her own plight. Her tense shoulders dropped, and her eyes grew stunned and blinked, reflecting something besides bitterness. "You do?" she said.

"Yes, I do." Shen moved closer to her, determined to get her to hear him out now that he actually had her attention. "Not as frequently as you seem to have them, but I had a few when I was a chick, and two others just a couple of weeks ago. I know how it feels, Lanying. I'm not trying to antagonize you; I only want to help."

She shook her head, bewildered. "But…why didn't you mention any of this when we meant yesterday?"

He dredged up a wry smile. "Because your parents were there. Do you really think they'd consent to the marriage of two people with the same issues? I'm meant to be supporting you, remember?"

She averted her eyes, her partial crest drooping slightly. Shen couldn't help but feel a tad triumphant. _At last, she's showing that she has a conscience._

"I suppose you're right," Lanying admitted. "Forgive me. I…please understand, this has come as a shock to me. I was only very recently told by my parents that I had to marry, or they would send me to an asylum. And you didn't come to mind when I was wondering who in China would actually want to marry me. I wasn't intending to…"

"It's fine," Shen assured her. "I knew that you wouldn't exactly be thrilled about the arrangement…which is why that it is imperative that you must know that – "

"Lanying!" a shrill voice called, and both peafowl started in surprise. Their heads snapped towards the cemetery entrance, where the instantly recognizable form of Yue Xifeng was striding towards them indignantly. The elder peahen began to wave her fan at her daughter disapproving, clicking her tongue several times as she trilled, "There you are! What in the world are you doing in the Cemetery of Nobles? I cannot believe that you snuck out again – is that anyway for a lady to behave? For heaven's sake, you are about to be married!"

It was then that Yue caught sight of Shen, and she cleared her throat, smiling awkwardly and suddenly paying considerable attention to fanning herself. "Oh, Master Shen…please pardon my daughter's behavior. She really should know better, but I'm sure you understand that she does such silly things sometimes…I'm sure that her manners will improve after the wedding…"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Lady Yue." Shen bowed, trying to think of a sufficient story to assure Yue that this accidental meeting was caused by him somehow. "Your daughter and I were anxious to meet again, that's all – "

"No, Mother, it was an accident," Lanying interrupted. "Shen came here to see his parents, and I followed him."

"See his parents…? And you followed him? Of all the disrespectful things to do to your future husband!" Yue glared at Lanying so venomously that Shen was very much taken aback. So far, he had only seen Yue as the chatty, slightly ditzy wife of a political advisor. He never would have suspected that she had the capacity to look so fierce.

"We're going home this instant," she continued, "and you will not be allowed out on your own until I say so, do you understand me? Honestly, Lanying, you could not be any more immature if you tried! This childish conduct has got to stop?"

Shooting another nervous smile at Shen, she gripped her daughter's wing in a way that looked like it was probably painful and escorted the younger peahen home.

…

Lanying was dragged back to her parents' house, given a halfhearted scolding by her father, and unceremoniously confined to her room. She hardly noticed any of it. Her parents had lacked either the intelligence or the gall to take away her painting and writing supplies, and as she dove into her previous piece of the city and the Tower of the Sacred Flame (which she now began to effortlessly portray as a comforting guardian), her mind kept poring over what she had learned about Shen from their conversation. She had never suspected that the former warlord had a soft spot of any kind. Who would have thought that he routinely poured his heart out to his dead parents, or still carried memories of a bad childhood, or – the real shocker for her – _suffered from panic attacks?_

Suddenly, all of the fantasies that she had abandoned so long ago were becoming reality again. She might really be able to have a husband who understood her and who would guide her through her awful attacks. She doubted that Shen was insincere; it was extremely implausible that he would go through the trouble of leading her to his parents' graves and lying about everything there, just to deceive her. He hadn't known that she was in the cemetery too, she was certain of it. There was really more of him than the rumors she'd heard let on.

She couldn't remember the last time that her paintbrush had moved so energetically. All right, so one sincere meeting didn't give her a full understanding of the infamous Lord Shen's character, but that didn't mean that she couldn't try to make the best of this arrangement from now on. She could ask him questions…learn the full story of his history…find out who he really was. Perhaps he'd be the one that she'd been waiting on for so long, the person who would support her, both emotionally and in the more practical sense of the word. He'd listen to her when she wanted to trot out an idea for him, comfort her when she needed it…in those bright, optimistic moments, she could have cared less about how much she disliked her parents. The arrangements they had made with Lord Shen might just work out for the best, in a way that they had never even anticipated.

Lanying continued to paint later into the night than she usually would have, her creativity oddly stimulated, her mind swirling with daydreams about what benefits this marriage might bring.

…

When Shen returned to the dormitory, his companions saw that he seemed unusually thoughtful and introverted. Figuring that he was still emotionally compromised from the confrontation with his past, they allowed him some alone time. Actually, he was mostly contemplating Lanying, if in a distinctly less sentimental way than she was currently thinking of him.

Her actions were coming across as rather confusing to him. Perhaps there was some deeply buried driving force behind her motivations that he hadn't uncovered yet, or perhaps it was just the trouble that always arises when members of the opposite sex attempt to deal with each other. He remembered that he and Xun, while in their teens, had often complained about the indecipherability of "girls," as if being a different gender meant that they were automatically unfathomable beyond reason. Truthfully, though, neither of them had really attempted to get involved with women. Even if Shen's engagement was only false, that didn't change the fact that he had absolutely no experience dealing with matters like this.

He regretted that Yue had interrupted them before he'd been able to tell Lanying about his real intentions. Despite the brief understanding that they had come to, he knew that she was almost certainly still not thrilled by the situation that she had been cast into. She would be very relieved when he finally managed to tell her that she wouldn't be forced to marry him.

After all, there was no way that a perplexing lady like Lanying would want to get involved with a renown criminal like him.

That was just preposterous…wasn't it?

* * *

_A/N - Holy gosh you guys, I was very surprised by the amount of reviews last chapter! Thanks so much! I really do appreciate it, so please keep it up!_


	10. More to learn

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 10: More to learn_

Shen didn't see Lanying again for several days, but he was more than occupied. He spent the majority of his time busily preparing detailed designs of the new cannons that were to be made. His companions couldn't count the number of times that they tried to get him to attend a meal, only for him to absently reply that he was busy as his wings moved in frenetic strokes over his drawing paper, creating elaborate plans with his ink and charcoal. After three days of this, Master Storming Ox finally announced, "Shen, I don't want to rush you, but we need to get a move on."

"Then start getting the factory ready," answered Shen. "And we're going to need metal…lots of it."

So he had to set his work aside for a few more days while preparations were made. Xun kept making quips about how he would lead a pack of bandits to get more metal if they needed him to, just for old times' sake. To be fair, it was actually pretty funny. Shen reflected on how odd it was that what had been serious business five years ago was now something that could be joked about.

During this stint of inactivity, Jie and Yue Xifeng showed up to triumphantly declare to the Masters Council that Xuilan had reportedly left the city, and they didn't need to worry about her anymore. They also made arrangements with Shen for another meeting with Lanying. As far as Shen was concerned, all he needed to do was see her one more time and explain his plan to her, and then take her back to the Valley of Peace with him so that they could keep up the pretense until she got a job or a printing prospect. There wasn't any reason for them to spend time together besides that; she wasn't particularly pleasant company, and despite their mutual panic attacks and less-than-desirable family situations, they didn't seem to have a lot in common. He didn't mention any of this to the Xifengs, but he was sure that he and Lanying wouldn't be faced with too many encounters anyway. After all, in many arranged marriages, the couple didn't meet until their wedding day.

He had more important things to deal with, anyway. As the fireworks factory was fired up, crew members were hired, and scrap metal was gathered, Shen was left to wander the grounds of the dormitory. He found that his eyes were always drawn to the dark building, especially as the smokestacks began to breathe again and he caught the occasional glimpse of glowing red from behind its walls. He couldn't believe that he was about to willingly go in there again – it seemed like he was just asking his insanity to rise up in full force and devour him.

He was constantly reminding himself of his nanny's words: _"You need to stop thinking of your insanity as a disease…it's not a sickness…it's not coming back."_

Still, when the big day finally arrived, and Shen and Xun had dressed in the most non-flammable clothing they could muster and followed Masters Storming Ox and Croc to the factory so that they could meet the rest of their crew…the moment that Shen walked through the ground-level door and felt the heat and scent of burning things waft over him, his knees nearly buckled from the force of the memories threatening to overtake him. Even in the harsh red light, it was obvious that he didn't look so good.

"Shen, are you okay?" asked Xun uncomfortably, his eye drifting over his uneasy friend.

Shen was unable to tear his eyes from the eerily familiar, crimson-bathed surroundings. This was where his obsession with fireworks had started, on a fateful day when he was a teenager and had snuck into the factory to watch his father working on a display for the winter feast. Lord Jin had been outraged, unceremoniously sending his son away with a declaration of, _"This is no place for you, Sheng Li! With your weak lungs, you're not suited to making fireworks!"_ Which of course had driven Shen to want to prove him wrong…

"I-I'm all right," he managed.

"We have a full work force ready," Master Croc remarked in an attempt to change the subject back to the task at hand. "They're all willing to take your commands."

Shen massaged his temples in an attempt to draw his mind away from all of his unpleasant memories. "Are they volunteers?"

"Well, technically we're paying them," said Storming Ox. He flashed a slight smirk. "Don't worry, it's coming out of your paycheck."

"I didn't need that paycheck anyway," Shen sighed, tentatively stepping through the threshold of the factory. "I suppose we'd better get started – there's a lot of work to be done." He reached inside his robe and produced the design sheets that he'd brought with him. "How much time am I expected to spend in here each day?"

"Not long," replied Storming Ox. "Obviously, it's up to you to give the instructions on how to construct these cannons, but you're not expected to supervise the workers; we have people for that."

"I might be here for a while, then. This is a complicated process, especially since we're working with completely new parts…when was the factory last used?"

"It hasn't been touched since you left," said Croc.

Shen looked around even more uncomfortably. Sure enough, he could see that in certain areas, the building carried traces of having been abandoned for nearly five years. Much like his former sense of uneasiness about the Tower of the Sacred Flame, he wondered if the factory wanted to take its revenge on him because he had left it alone for so long. What if it still carried the shadow of his old ambition and was planning to take over him…?

But all he said was, "Then we have even more to do than I thought. We'd better get started."

…

The "volunteers" that would be staffing this project were mostly farmers who had already completed their harvests for the year, sellers of seasonal goods, or blacksmiths with extra time on their hands. They were a bit nervous around Shen, but not nervous enough to refrain from asking the former warlord dozens of questions, which he supposed was probably a good sign. He and Xun, being the only ones with experience in this field, would pretty much be in charge of the whole project.

That first day was spent mostly running checks on all the equipment and further preparing the fireworks factory for weapons-making once again. Shen explained to Xun that they would be equal leaders. "The only place I might have an advantage is in knowing about the designs of the new cannons, since I came up with them myself. But I think you know as much about the production process as I do."

Xun clapped his paws to his face in mock shock. "No – did Mr. Year of the Peacock just say he's going to treat me as _equal_? Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!"

"Gladly," snickered Shen, reaching over as if to fulfill the wolf's request for a pinch, but Xun gave him a shove before he was able to. The two might have broken out into a scuffle of roughhousing right then and there, but they were both perched on a catwalk overlooking the factory and only Shen could fly, so it didn't seem like the best idea.

Even if they weren't ready to start smelting metal for the cannons yet, it was still a fairly productive day. Among other things, Shen cleared out the "crow's nest" where he had once overseen the activity of the wolves as they slaved away from him, replacing the burned map of China with his designed sheets and straightening things up to make it look less, well, creepy. He grew calmer throughout the day, thinking that perhaps his new job had no say in his mindset at all. He'd whip this old factory and its subtle influences into submission; as the soothsayer had said, he was in control of his own mind.

He dismissed his new workers shortly before sunset, and he and Xun followed them out, walking together for their short journey back to the dormitory. They were both hot and slightly soot-stained, and Shen was rather tired, but Xun was still scampering along and trying to provoke the peacock into roughhousing, making jokes all the while. Shen had almost succumbed to his friend's cheerful mood when, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flurry of rapid movement in the midst of the early evening crowds.

He snapped his head towards the commotion and saw that someone was shoving their way through the masses of citizens, seemingly running towards home. Someone whose multicolored feathers were visible even beneath their threadbare green cloak…

"Lanying?" Shen exclaimed, hurrying from Xun's side in order to get a better look. Yes, it was her, he was sure of it! The form he saw was that of a peahen, with no train, and it was too small to be Yue. And Lanying had been wearing that green cloak when he'd met her in the cemetery a few days ago. He could tell from the way that she was fiercely shouldering her way through the swarms of people, keeping her head down and her shoulders taut, that she was upset.

"Shen, where are you going?" called Xun as Shen darted away from their established path. He muttered apologies as the surprised residents of Gongmen City practically parted before him out of fear, finally dashing forward and reaching out to put a wing on Lanying's shoulder.

Lanying jerked beneath his hand, recoiling instantly; clearly she hadn't been expecting anyone to make physical contact with her in that way. She took a stumbling step back, spinning around in alarm, but her eyes narrowed when she saw who was there. "Oh, it's just you. What do you want?" she demanded, her voice strained and trembling slightly.

Shen frowned, noting her slightly dampened eyes and shaking hands. "I was on my way back from work and I saw that you looked upset…is something wrong?"

"What do you think?" she snapped, turning away and clutching her cloak tightly around herself.

"I think that something must be wrong if you snuck away from your parents again…especially after they just punished you for it a few days ago."

"I didn't sneak out! My parents know exactly where I am." She panted angrily. "And I'm sure that this is exactly what they wanted to happen."

For the first time, he spotted a crumpled scroll clutched in her wing. "What is that you're holding?"

Lanying unceremoniously shoved the paper at him, which he unfurled and scanned quickly. It was a short letter, and it seemed to be communicating something to the effect of, "_Thank you for your submission, but based on the samples you provided, we've decided to pass on your offer at this time…"_

"It's a rejection from a printer," explained Lanying curtly, her head hanging low, her partial crest completely flattened. "From a printer _outside of Gongmen City. _They were my last hope that I might…a few months ago my parents gave me permission to inquire if they would be interested in my work. They said that they were willing to consider me, but wanted some samples of my prose and art…I was so excited about it, and I sent the samples right away, and now I get_…this_…in return." She snatched the letter out of Shen's hands, crumpled it up, and flung it into the street, where it quickly mingled with the other pieces of useless garbage.

She seated herself heavily on the front steps of what Shen realized must have been her parents' house, resting her head in her hands. He frowned. "I understand that it's always hard to be rejected, but what makes this rejection so much different than all the others? Your parents mentioned that you've dealt with this sort of thing before."

She hissed. "You really don't get it! When I made my inquiries to the printers in Gongmen, I thought that they were turning me down because they knew who I was and knew about my condition…I thought that they simply weren't paying attention." She kicked at the crinkled rejection letter, a single pale-orange talon emerging from beneath her robes. "But this printer didn't know who I was. They didn't know that I had panic attacks. Do you know what that means? It means that my work really is trite. It means that no matter what, no one cares about what I'm trying to do. It means that I _failed_."

Lanying snorted bitterly. "And do you know what else? My parents will love this. They'll be delighted that I've had my spirit broken and been whacked into submission. They want me to give up completely and stop resisting the fact that I'll never amount to anything. I used to think that they'd be proud of me if I succeeded. But now I know that no matter what I do…"

"…you'll never be good enough," Shen completed.

She looked up at him, her eyes narrowed.

Shen lowered himself down beside her. "Look, Miss Xifeng…there's a lot you don't know about me, and I'm sure that I know just as little about you. But you have to trust me when I say that I've been through what's happening to you right now. Trying to carve your own path, and finding that no matter how hard you try, you always fail?" He smiled weakly. "That's essentially the story of my life."

She was silent. There were tears at the corners of her eyes, but she wasn't really crying, not audibly anyway.

"At first I thought that happiness must be manufactured," he continued. "You have to make it yourself, or you won't ever find it. But when I tried that time and again and it didn't work, I came up with a new philosophy. 'Happiness must be taken.' And it wasn't until much later that I reconsidered and thought…who exactly am I taking it from? And if I'm taking it, isn't that doing virtually the same thing that people always did to me, trading my well-being for their own ease of mind? And I realized that there's no one path to happiness, no one single way to obtain it." He reached over and placed his hand on hers, a bit awkwardly; he wasn't used to comforting people that he barely knew, and his feathers were a bit grimy, anyway. "What you really have to do is keep pressing ahead and not become a victim to your situation…and sometimes, happiness finds you."

Lanying looked away thoughtfully for a moment. She must not have noticed that their wings were touching, because she didn't flinch a bit.

"It's funny," she said at last. "When my parents told me that I was engaged to you, I thought that it was the worst insult they'd ever dealt me. I knew that you were rumored to be reformed, but I never in a million years thought that you'd be like this. It's like you really understand me. Out of everyone I've ever met…you're the one who I feel like is reading my mind."

"W-well…I…" Shen stammered, feeling his cheeks flush warmly. "I-I just want to help you, I hope you know that…"

"I'm so surprised by how sincere you are." Lanying looked up at him sheepishly, smiling a bit. "You know what, I…I think I'm glad that we're engaged. It might be a stupid fantasy, but I can't help but feel that this arrangement will work out. I think that if anyone can help me, you can."

"Lanying, I…don't know what to say," Shen managed, looking away, now very conscious of his fingers curling around hers.

She stood up slowly, breaking the contact without ever mentioning it, still with that small and slightly withdrawn smile on her face. "Well, have a good evening, Master Shen," she told him with a quick bow. "I'll see you soon."

Shen couldn't fathom a reply, and as she shut the door behind her, he found himself unable to budge from his seat. He'd just had the opportunity to tell her that he really wasn't going to marry her – and he hadn't taken it. Well, of course he hadn't. She was upset, and he'd only wanted to comfort her; it wasn't the time to discuss such matters. A little tiny truth like that could wait for just a while longer, couldn't it?

But at the bottom of his heart, he knew exactly what he had started by holding his tongue when he shouldn't have. He was digging himself a hole…and it was only going to get deeper from this point onward.

* * *

_A/N - Eep, sorry for the delay! I got pretty stuck on this chapter for some reason, but here it is. Keep on reviewing, my wonderful fans!_


	11. Clarity

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 11: Clarity_

"And you _didn't _tell her that you aren't actually planning to marry her?"

Xun rolled his eye, exasperated. Shen had just finished telling him about why he'd run off and about his brief encounter with Lanying. The wolf wondered why it was that his friend always had to entangle himself in something that was overly complicated to begin with and just make it more and more complex.

"Oh, as if you have all the answers," muttered Shen, glowering. "Would you have honestly told her right then if you were in that situation?"

"Yes," Xun responded immediately.

"Hmmph. Easy for you to say." Shen flopped down on his bed, unwilling to admit that he was feeling flustered and slightly guilty about what he'd said…or rather, hadn't said.

"I mean, it's bad enough that you're lying to the Xifengs about marrying their daughter," Xun continued to rant. "But now you keep lying to the daughter, too? Not being able to talk because her parents are looking over your shoulder is understandable – having the opportunity and not taking it is just sheer stupidity!"

"Look, she had a bad day, all right? I was only trying to comfort her!"

"Just keep digging that ditch deeper, Shen. Just keep digging…"

Shen snarled, losing his temper as every emotional strain of the day seemed to pounce on him at once. "Cut it out, Xun!" he snapped, springing to his feet again. "In case you hadn't noticed, this is none of your business! If all you're going to do is chastise me when you have barely any idea of what's actually going on, then just shut up and leave me alone!"

Xun's ears flattened, his tail going slack with surprise. Shen exhaled roughly. "Look, Xun, I…"

"Oh, you've made your point," Xun interrupted coldly. "Excuse me for trying to help. You're going to treat me as an equal, yeah, right. I should have known that you were headed for disaster the second we came here!"

With that, the wolf bolted from the room, making sure to slam the door behind him. Shen groaned in frustration and sank down on his bed mat. Arguing with Xun was nothing new; it had happened several times since their reunion, but like falling off of a rickshaw, it was something that would always hurt and could never really be gotten used to. It wasn't as if Shen _wanted_ one of the only two people that he could actually talk to right now to get mad at him, but Xun just…didn't get it sometimes. He could be a real pup at times and was almost always acting considerably more immature than Shen. And yet he had the audacity to act like he was an expert on honesty in relationships?

_There's no relationship_, Shen reminded himself as he rubbed his temples. His head was throbbing with pain, indicating that he needed to calm himself down a bit unless he was in the mood for a migraine. So he took a deep breath and shifted himself into lotus position, beginning the meditations that he had overlooked for several nights now. It was several minutes before he was able to ease the turmoil in his mind completely, but when the tranquility fell over him, it was heavenly.

It was so nice to not have to think about anything for once, to let time escape him and forget all about the fireworks factory, Xun, and Lanying. He breathed easily now that he was able to temporarily get rid of the urgency of his current job and nagging sense of guilt. Nothing mattered in this state of serenity; he didn't have to do anything except keep breathing, in, out, in, out...

…

"_This is the right thing to do. We'll give him what he deserves. He deserves it…"_

"_No one is going to stop us..."_

"_Why would they? He deserves it…"_

"_He deserves it…"_

_Shen was sprawled out in an ungainly tangle of limbs, paralyzed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move at all. His eyes were locked wide open, fixed on the shadowed figures hovering around him. Their movements made whispering sounds, and the whispers always repeated the same urgent chant: "He deserves it, he deserves it, he deserves it…"_

_And then, from within the swirling oblivion of blacks, blues, and grays, a gleam of silver flashed as brightly and abruptly as a firework. And with no warning whatsoever, a lady draped in elaborate finery was standing over him, completely decked out in red and gold except for the silver dagger clutched in her hands. She leered at him, and he could see that she was a small, falcon-like bird, her feathers almost all muted and white except for the vibrant black patches around her eyes and shoulders. Her eyes were two crimson lakes that sought to greedily gobble him up._

_She raised her dagger. "Sweet dreams, Lord Shen…"_

_The blade plunged down towards his chest._

…

Shen jerked awake, insensible for a moment until the nightmare grudgingly released its hold on him. He exhaled shakily, looking around his room in visible relief. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually fallen asleep during meditations. That and the dream were probably just signs that he was overly tired and stressed.

Still…even though the nightmare had been a mess of dark nonsense, one thing seemed too vivid and detailed, still nagging him even though now he was back in reality. He frowned, realizing that the raptor he had seen at the end of the dream was Lady Xuilan. But he'd only seen her once, and the Xifengs had said that she'd already left Gongmen City; as impolite as she had been, he doubted that she would ever try to kill him.

Would she?

There was still no sign of Xun, even though the barest bit of light feebly shining through the window informed Shen that it was already quite late. He sighed and lay down on his bed mat, clutching the blankets close. "I need some real sleep," he murmured to himself. "Can't let myself get anxious like this."

Fortunately, he was able to spend the rest of the night nightmare-free.

…

In the morning, Shen found that Xun was still insistent on not speaking to him. The soothsayer threw both of her "children" pointed, questioning glances from time to time, but neither decided to enlighten her on the argument between them. Shen decided to focus on his full schedule for the day, which included work in the fireworks factory in the morning and a meeting with Lanying in the afternoon.

The factory didn't grate on him nearly as much today, perhaps because he was getting acclimated with it again, or maybe just because he had steeled himself for the flood of memories beforehand. That day he had his crew begin smelting the scrap metal gathered for this project. They would be making four cannons in all, one to be posted at each major entrance to the city, so the irregular materials would suffice...unlike the time that Shen had gathered a fleet of cannons and had needed to steal metal from all over the country in order to complete them.

Supervising the crew was mindless work, and Shen's job was only made difficult by Xun's continued refusal to talk to him. He finally decided that all he could do was ignore the wolf; he had bigger and better things to do than beg for forgiveness.

Just before noon, Shen instructed Xun to take over the supervisions (interpreting the lack of response as an affirmation) and hurried back to the palace, where he scrubbed the soot and excretions of the factory from his white feathers and changed into his silk dress robe. No matter what he said or didn't say to Lanying today, he wanted to look a little something more than presentable.

When he headed outside to await the arrival of the Xifengs, the soothsayer followed him, smirking as she once again observed his attire. "Why Shen," she commented lazily, "you're wearing silk _again_? How considerate of you."

He rolled his eyes. "Nana, you never pressed me to form a romantic connection before, so what's inspired you to start playing matchmaker all of a sudden?"

"Well, for one thing, I never thought you were ready for romance before. You've been through a lot of emotional turbulence, dear, but you've come a long way. I think that letting someone else in would be good for you…"

"Nana, I've taken on a pure charity case here, just out of the goodness of my heart. Isn't that good enough for you?"

"Of course it is. It shows that progress that I was just talking about."

"Then why have you decided that I need a girlfriend as well?"

The soothsayer smiled, gazing at him knowingly. "It's not what _I _decided, darling." And with that, she trotted smugly back into the dormitory.

Shen watched her go, his eyebrows crinkling thoughtfully. So he was right, then; she'd been looking into her bowl again. But what did that mean? That the fates who had previously decided that he would have his tail feathers handed to him by a big flabby panda had now decreed that he was to end up romantically involved with Miss Xifeng? Was that what he wanted? Did he have a choice?

And was there any point in resisting what the universe had planned for him? He'd already made that mistake once, after all…

Just then, one of the antelope guards scampered up to him and announced, "Master Shen, the Xifengs have arrived!"

Shen didn't even have the time to take a single step forward before the three Java green peafowl beat him to the punch. Yue came forward and greeted him as enthusiastically as always, while Jie hung back somewhat and Lanying trailed behind her parents, glowering.

"Master Shen, good to see you!" Yue pumped Shen's wing as if she was meeting him for the first time all over again. "Don't be surprised if Lanying is a little cranky today." The peahen leaned forward and said in a mock whisper, "She got a rejection letter yesterday!"

"Oh," said Shen, not wanting to reveal that he already knew all about that little incident.

"But I think that she will stop with her silly fantasies of getting famous now and behave like a lady. She finally understands that you are her only hope of staying out of the asylum," Yue continued, fanning herself vigorously.

Shen cleared his throat, looking around for a way to excuse himself from his wannabe in-laws. He noticed that it happened to be an unseasonably warm day, probably the last fling of nice weather before late fall and winter closed in. "It's lovely today," he commented in a manner that he hoped was offhanded. "Lanying, would you care to accompany me on a walk around the grounds?"

"Oh, of course," Lanying answered quickly, immediately realizing his intentions.

He hurried over to her, took her wing in what was meant to be a gentlemanly way, and escorted her behind the dormitory and into the courtyard. Fortunately, Jie and Yue didn't try to detain them this time.

Lanying cleared her throat, glancing uncomfortably at her arm threaded through Shen's, and he withdrew immediately. "Sorry, sorry," he apologized. "I just wanted to keep up the pretense – that is, look proper so that your parents would let us go," he corrected himself quickly.

"I don't blame you," responded Lanying. "They're irritating, aren't they?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that for…"

"Oh, you don't have to be so polite. I know how annoying they are." She smoothed a hand along her partial crest tentatively. "So...we have a lot to catch up on, don't we?"

"Yes, I suppose we do." Shen motioned for her to sit down on one of the courtyard's stone benches, and she did so carefully, smoothing out her drab dress robe. He took a seat beside her and continued, "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

"Well…what do you want to know about me?" she asked carefully.

He took a deep breath. "Tell me about your panic attacks. When did you first start having them?"

Lanying was silent for a moment; her long feathered fingers absently brushed the embroidered edges of her sleeves. "I remember my first attack clearly," she finally replied. "I was very young…my parents were visiting a friend of theirs, for some political meeting or something. They brought me along because there were other children of my age meant to be there. Well, there were other children, but they were all older than me. Nevertheless, my parents went off somewhere and left me to 'play with my new friends.'

"The children were kind enough to me. One girl, a lamb, invited me to come play with them, saying that they were going to tell ghost stories. I eagerly joined in. Then a little boy, a piglet, told a story about a ghost that he claimed he had seen in his house once. I don't remember the exact details – as I said, I was only a few years old at the time – but I remember how much the story frightened me. And it wasn't good fear, either. I had heard a few ghost stories before, and I'd rather enjoyed the sensations of 'ooh, spooky' that came with them. But this time, for whatever reason, I was terrified.

"Throughout the entire day, that fear clung to me and wouldn't go away. I couldn't stop thinking about the scary story. I tried to tell my parents, but they dismissed me immediately, of course. And then that night, when we went home and they put me to bed...I fell asleep for an hour or two, but when I woke up…"

"You don't have to describe the symptoms to me," Shen interrupted at this point. "Trust me, I know what it's like."

Lanying nodded gratefully and continued. "I went to go get my parents, crying and frightened. They were horrified and immediately called a physician to come and deal with me. The physician told them that I was having a fit and that it was best for me to be by myself for a while, so they put me in my room…in the dark…by myself."

As she said the last, a trace of the childlike fear that she had once felt seemed to flicker over her face. Shen tilted his head worriedly. "And how old were you?"

"I was five."

_Five!_ Shen had admittedly had his share of emotional breakdowns when he was five, but at least then, he'd had his nanny to cling to. What sort of quack physician would advise leaving a scared, crying child by _themselves_ for a while?

"I kept begging my parents not to leave, but they were intent on carrying out the physician's advice," said Lanying softly. "I had three other panic attacks shortly after, and every time they just shut me in my room for a while. Eventually, they called in a second doctor, who diagnosed me as having chronic panic attacks. And from then on they were on a desperate search for the cure to my 'disease,' importing dozens of miracle medicines, some of which made me even sicker. But they never found anything that helped. So they figured that the best course of action was to force me to be a shut-in forever."

Shen shook his head in disbelief and disgust with her parents. "Lanying…I don't know what to say. That's just awful."

"Surely not more awful than whatever happened to you…"

He sighed. "Well…no, maybe not…but it's because I've been through awful things that I empathize with you. Trust me, when my parents saw that I was a bad color, bad omen, they decided to just put me where they didn't have to look at me…"

Lanying leaned forward curiously. "Why don't you tell me _your_ story, Shen?"

"That will take a while…but if you insist." Shen shut his eyes, calling up the most distant memories from his past. "Well, it all started when the soothsayer made a prediction…"


	12. A story

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 12: A story_

"Before I was born, my parents were so excited about having an heir that they couldn't wait to know if I was a boy or a girl," Shen began, settling in as he started what was sure to be a long story. "They asked their court soothsayer to tell them what gender I would be. But when she looked into her bowl, she saw an entirely different version of the future, and had a vision of 'white, and fire, and darkness.' My parents were outraged and refused to believe it…but then I hatched prematurely, and they could see that I had white feathers. From then on, I was always a bad color, bad omen.

"The soothsayer was the one who really raised me. She became my nanny, practically my mother. She was the one who fed and bathed and took care of me; I lived in her quarters, and I loved her more than anyone. As I grew up there were a few other people who ended up being a part of my life, like Xun – he's a wolf cub I befriended when I was five, you'd probably know him better as the wolf boss – and a healer who tended to me when I was sick, named Lady Biming. I was very sickly, you see, probably because of my prematurity. Still, I hated Lady Biming until I was about nineteen." He wasn't sure whether to smile or grimace at these old memories.

"As I grew up, my parents rarely interacted with me. Oh, I'd see them sometimes, of course, but they just…fell into a stride of ignoring me, I suppose. I strove for their attention, first by trying to excel at kung fu, and then by attempting to prove that I was competent at the family business of making fireworks." He winced. "The fireworks became an obsession. You probably know how that turned out. Before anyone knew what was happening, I was literally beginning to go insane, throwing aside the people who had cared for me and refusing to show any emotion besides anger. I think that the real downfall of my sanity began when I was nineteen, on a day that my parents brought me to the panda village to see Lady Biming – "

"Lady Biming was a panda?" interrupted Lanying.

"Yes, she is. Why?"

"Well…" The peahen's head feathers lowered awkwardly. "I never pictured you as interacting with any pandas…"

Shen cleared his throat meaningfully. "We'll get to that. As I was saying, my parents brought me to the panda village so that they could visit with Lady Biming. Even though I hadn't seen her in years, I didn't like her, because all I remembered about her was that she was always sticking me with needles and making me drink disgusting medicines. Anyway, she and her husband took my parents out to show them crops or something, and my parents volunteered me to watch her son. He was an annoying little brat who tried to eat me more than once." Shen rolled his eyes. "If only I knew that he'd turn out to be the Dragon Warrior…

"I didn't exactly succeed in watching him. He ended up dragging me into the water hole, which is where Biming found us. And then…something strange happened. I'm not sure what came over me, but I almost…well, I almost broke down in front of her, telling her about my parents' neglect and how even my nanny was beginning to go against me. And the funny thing was, she understood. She empathized with me and tried to comfort me. I wouldn't let her, of course, but she wasn't done with me yet. Because a few days later I tried to run away from home, and Nana – I mean, the soothsayer – followed me. And it was cold and raining, and she got sick, and then Lady Biming came and even though I tried to run away again, she told me that I had to stay or else Nana would die. And I asked her why on earth Nana would hold on for me, and she said, '…because you're her son.' And…after that I didn't hate Lady Biming so much anymore."

Shen's voice broke off abruptly, and Lanying's eyes roved around as she searched for something to say. She had heard as his words became a rush of emotion as he'd hurriedly described his nanny's illness. Finally she asked, "And what does that have to do with…the rest of your story?"

"I'm getting to that." Shen took a deep breath. "Just a few weeks later, I overheard the soothsayer making the prediction that changed my life forever – telling my parents that I would be defeated by a 'warrior of black and white.' And I snapped. When I look back on it now, I have no idea what came over me. I just rounded up as many wolf guards as I could, set out for the panda village, and slaughtered everyone in sight. Well…almost everyone. Because I had the opportunity to kill Lady Biming, and I didn't. Or should I say, I couldn't."

Lanying gripped her chest. "You spared her? You mean, you left her there to cope with the deaths of everyone in her village?"

"Patience, Lanying, I'm not done yet. You probably know what happened after the massacre. My parents were forced to banish me, and I spent thirty years in exile, until I returned and…"

"…tried to take over China, but were defeated by the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five," finished Lanying. "I know that much. I was there, remember?"

"Of course you were." Shen cleared his throat. "To be honest, I probably couldn't give you a better account of that then what you've already heard. To me, everything that happened after my exile is sort of…hazy." He shivered slightly. "And dark. But what no one probably ever told you is that I didn't die when that cannon fell on top of me. It broke through the ship, so I fell into the water before it could crush me. I was knocked out, of course, and severely injured, but I survived. And from then on, things began to get very strange.

"The soothsayer was the one who healed me. She got me out of the harbor and managed to get me into Dao-ming Temple, outside of Gongmen City. I was bedridden for quite a while, but once I was able to get on my feet again, I immediately set out to seek my revenge. I went to the Jade Palace, but I didn't have an army anymore and I wasn't sure of what I would do. Then I saw a little kitten wandering the grounds unattended, and it was easy for me to kidnap her without anyone else knowing." He smiled. "Her name was Kurisu, and she and I were about to become very well-acquainted.

"Before you say anything, I'm sure you're probably wondering what she was doing at the Jade Palace if you've never heard of her. Well, she's from a village in Japan that was destroyed, and someone from the Valley of Peace named Mr. Ping adopted her. Mr. Ping also happens to be the Dragon Warrior's adoptive father, so Kurisu is the Dragon Warrior's younger sister, and she was just beginning to learn kung fu at that time. Anyway, I brought her back to Dao-ming Temple with me and asked the soothsayer what I would get from the ransom I was asking for her. And once again, Nana made a completely different prediction than anyone expected. She told me that I would never be able to find happiness unless I learned to care about someone as much as myself…to care about someone more than myself. Apparently, Kurisu was meant to be my path to redemption. Well, of course I refused to believe it, but circumstances changed again. I had an argument with the soothsayer and wound up breaking down, and crying for the first time since I was twelve. And after that, I was persuaded into showing a bit more kindness towards Kurisu. She grew very attached to me, and eventually vice versa.

"For a little while, I was incredibly satisfied with my life at Dao-ming, but our state of happiness couldn't last. The Furious Five and the Dragon Warrior came storming into Gongmen to reclaim Kurisu, which caused some of the citizens here to realize that I was alive. They formed a mob, burned down Dao-ming, and tried to kill the three of us. I got Nana and Kurisu to safety and was nearly killed trying to get the mob away from them…which got the attention of the warriors, who had to consider that maybe I'd changed. Kurisu insisted on me and Nana coming back to the Jade Palace, and we were permitted to. I think the arrangement was supposed to be temporary, but I never left, and I've been living there ever since."

Lanying leaned forward, her brow furrowed. "But what about – "

"Calm down, I'm not finished yet. A few months after all that, I encountered Xun again. You may or may not know that I tried to kill him during my attempted takeover. Needless to say, I felt guilty about that now, and I regretted not having treated him like a friend in so long even though he showed nothing but loyalty towards me. Well, he showed up in the Valley of Peace, starving and hurt and half-crazy, and I took him up to the Jade Palace and got him food and medical attention. We ended up reconciling, and since then we've been best friends again." His face faltered a bit when he remembered that Xun was currently angry at him for...some stupid reason.

Shaking his head to clear it, he continued, "There's really only one more notable thing that's happened to me since then, and that was that I recognized Po – er, the Dragon Warrior – as the cub that I'd babysat so long ago. So I told him that I'd never killed his mother, and he rushed off to find her. Kurisu, Nana, Xun, and I ended up following him, and sure enough, we found Lady Biming. I wasn't planning on getting her to forgive me, but, well…it's sort of complicated, but to make a long story short, I got sick and she started taking care of me without me even asking her too. She said that she didn't think I was a monster, and after that she wasn't afraid of me anymore. So we took her back to the Jade Palace with us, and ever since then, all of us have been one big, weird family."

Shen leaned back, his mouth dry and chapped from talking so much, somehow exhausted from going through all of those memories again. "There. You now know essentially everything there is to know about my history. Do with that what you will."

Lanying didn't seem able to prevent herself from staring at him, with her eyes wide and her beak slightly parted. At last she managed, "Well…that explains a lot."

"And what exactly does it explain?"

"The fact that I was always told that you were evil, but then when I met you, there was nothing to suggest that you were cruel or even particularly egotistical." She cleared her throat. "Not to mention, the emotional baggage with your parents."

Shen looked away. "My parents may have made mistakes, but they weren't _trying_ to hurt me. For better or for worse, they're still my parents."

"It seems we have more in common than I thought," remarked Lanying softly. "After all, my parents…"

But she never got a chance to finish the statement about her parents, because just then, Yue swished into the courtyard. "Lanying? Come on, it's been long enough! We'd better get going!"

Lanying sighed roughly and stood up, giving Shen a slight nod. "Goodbye, Master Shen. Will I be seeing you again soon?"

"Yes, I should think so," he answered, even though this contradicted with his original plans. "I've been fairly busy lately, so perhaps I'll come see you at your home next time."

"All right." Smiling shakenly a bit, Lanying hitched up the hem of her dress robe and hurried over to her mother's side.

Shen watched her go with mixed feelings. He had told her everything she needed to know, and he'd give her the opportunity to chew over that massive amount of information. He just wondered what she'd think of him the next time they met.


	13. Expectations

_A/N - So, everyone here is saying what they think of the new KFP: Legends of Awesomeness show, so I guess I'll give my opinion. I think it's a lazy, mediocre show with plothole-ridden writing, completely incorrect characterization, utter disregard for the canon (seeing as how it contradicts the movies in pretty much every episode), and very poor quality animation. I know a lot of people like it, but seriously, I don't understand why. At ALL._

* * *

**A Great Escape  
**_Chapter 13: Expectations_

_The cold air was stinging his cheeks; a winter wind was effortlessly slipping sharp, icy fangs between his feathers and into his skin. Yet still Shen kept running, traversing the night-darkened streets of Gongmen City, though he didn't know why. He wondered if he was being chased by someone, and instantly knew that he wasn't. He had to get to something else, some unknown destination – and he was running out of time._

_Then a shadow dropped down in front of him, a swirling figure of gray, white, and dark burgundy. It raised a silver dagger that gleamed so brightly that it was impossible to look upon; it was like a flash of lightning gripped in his adversary's hand. Shen hissed, for he knew this figure and he knew that weapon. He had seen both of them before. He shifted into a fighting stance._

_The figure lunged towards him, driving the dagger in the direction of his chest, but he intercepted this move and grabbed his offender's arm. They struggled for a moment in a frozen fight, Shen attempting to pry the blade from its dangerous wielder, the figure pulling and tugging and trying to shake him off. Finally, it raised its arm, striking him backwards. He tumbled into the street, but unhurt, he jumped up again immediately. He unfolded his train as he advanced on his attacker, the display of brilliant white feathers rippling in the night air like a distress flag._

_The figure straightened up and narrowed its eyes at him. The face was recognizable now, and Shen realized that he was looking at Lady Xuilan. Even though he'd thought her more of a nuisance than a danger, and even though he had been told that she'd left the city, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see her. "Get out of my way," he commanded, knowing full well that getting rid of her wouldn't be that easy._

"_Not until I'm finished with you," she responded tartly._

"_Let's make this quick, then." He shifted his feet and raised his wings, but without even a tiny knife on him to serve as a weapon, he felt naked and vulnerable. "I have somewhere I need to be."_

"_You're not going anywhere!" snarled Xuilan, and before he could react, she lunged towards him. The moment before she struck, the world seemed to stall into slow motion, and as she hurtled in the air towards him, Shen was no longer sure if he was looking at her at all…_

…_or if he was looking at himself._

…

That moment of unreality shattered the illusion, and before Shen knew it, the dream had slid from his mind like a reluctant slime monster. He found himself in his bed, in the guest room of the dormitory, entangled in blankets and filled with a jarring sense of dread.

He sat up, shivering in the unusually cool temperatures of the room, and stared off into space thoughtfully. His mind was still heavy with sleep, but in a way that was good, because it enabled him to roll over ideas that may not have occurred to him if he was fully alert. For the second time, he'd had a dream about being attacked by Lady Xuilan. The soothsayer had always taught him that it was unwise to ignore recurring dreams, not because they would necessarily reveal the future, but because they revealed one's most innermost worries; he puzzled over why two variants of a very specific attack had been the incarnation of his troubles.

His life was far from stress-free at the moment, but he was very familiar with the dreams he had during times of stress, and this wasn't one of them. Seeing himself doing terrible things was normal, but being in a face-off against a shady opponent was not. And why was he fighting Lady Xuilan, who was suddenly so much more hostile than annoying? Why had they been in the streets of Gongmen City, in the middle of the night, with her armed and him unarmed? What had he been running towards before encountering her?

Shen frowned as his brain inched towards being fully awake. Something didn't add up here. His other dream had been twisted and dark and nonsensical, the way a dream was supposed to be. This one was oddly detailed and specific, as if it was an event that had happened in the past…or was going to happen.

"Shen?"

The peacock started, his head snapping around quickly, as if he was expecting Lady Xuilan to be standing behind him with a dagger. Fortunately, all he saw was Xun, who was also sitting up in bed.

"You're awake?" asked Shen quietly, surprised. Xun was a very heavy sleeper, and Shen was pretty sure that he hadn't been noisy after waking up from that dream.

"I wasn't really asleep," Xun answered. He cleared his throat.

Shen remembered that they weren't actually on speaking terms right now and raised his chin a bit. "I didn't realize you were talking to me again," he remarked dryly.

"Well, I didn't realize you were…" Xun trailed off and remained quiet for several seconds. At last, his ears folded back, and he smirked slightly. "All right, I've got nothing."

Shen didn't smile.

The two of them sat unmoving for several minutes, holding each other's gaze without flinching. Finally, they both recited in unintentional unison, "I'm sorry."

"_You're_ sorry?" repeated Xun. "What are you sorry for?"

"I have no idea," admitted Shen. "I just figured that's what you wanted me to say."

Xun snickered. "Well, unnecessary apology accepted. And I'm sorry for trying to butt into your not-love life. It's just…friends don't let friends royally screw up, you know?"

Shen sighed. "I've royally screwed up worse than this, Xun. I'll always appreciate your help, but sometimes there's nothing you can do."

They were silent for a while after that, since Shen had sunken back into his own thoughts and Xun couldn't think of anything else to say. It was a strange moment for both of them, since they both had the sense that their childhoods were very far away and altogether out of reach, when usually just being together was enough to make them feel like little kids again. And yet now Shen was facing probably the most responsibility he'd ever had to deal with. He had a legitimate job to do that might determine the safety of an entire city, and he was getting entangled in a very complicated relationship with a woman he hardly knew. Such matters were very new to him. No wonder he was having funny dreams.

"Shen, are you okay?" asked Xun.

Shen exhaled slowly. "I'm not sure." He tried for a smile. "Then again, I'm always in an odd mood during the middle of the night. Why don't you try asking me when my brain is fully on?"

Xun snorted. "Your brain is never fully on."

And with that, the atmosphere of seriousness went out the window. Shen snatched up his pillow and hurled it at Xun; the wolf, unprepared, tumbled backwards slightly. Then he gathered up his own pillow and tossed both of them at his friend. Shen deflected the harmless projectiles, and they both burst into a fit of rather loud guffaws.

Someone tapped on the other side of their bedroom wall – probably the soothsayer telling them to shut up.

"All right, get back to bed, bird brain," Xun grinned, reclaiming his pillow. "We don't want our nanny to come in here and switch us, do we?"

"Of course not." Shen flopped down on his bed roll, rearranging his blankets into a semblance of order. He shivered again. "Is it just me, or is it cold in here?"

"It's a little chilly. But, you know, it's almost winter." Xun reclined lazily, clearly kept warm enough by his thick fur. "Good night, ugly chicken."

Shen rolled his eyes. "Good night, Xun."

…

Somehow, they both managed to fall back to sleep, and they felt rather refreshed upon waking. They spent the morning in the fireworks factory, supervising the smelting of metals and the casting of molds. Halfway through the day, Shen excused himself and told Xun to take the helm.

Xun, predictably, scoffed. "Are you seriously going to see your not-fiancée _again_? You came here to make cannons, not romance some chick!"

"I'm not doing anything that requires my input," Shen insisted. "Besides, my relationship with Lanying is none of your business, remember?"

In truth, Shen wanted to see what Lanying thought of him now that she'd had a while to chew over his history. Would she realize that there were some uncontrollable factors behind his horrible actions? Did she think that his attempts to make things right in recent years were acts of genuine guilt and remorse? Or did she believe that he was simply much better at head games than he'd ever let on, and was planning to do something horrible with Gongmen City…and with her?

He went back to the dormitory, went through his usual routine of freshening up and changing into his silk dress robe, and left before his nanny had the opportunity to stop him and hint at the future of his romantic life.

Shen had seen the Xifengs' house only once before, on the day that he'd found Lanying upset from her rejection letter, but it wasn't very hard to find again. It was an average two-story structure, notable for its lack of a shop on the downstairs level, that had a few fancy garnishes designed to make onlookers thing that its inhabitants were important but was overall just…plain. There was no garden outside, just a couple of potted plants on the steps that looked far from carefully kept. The exterior of the building was free of cracks and abrasions, but the paint was faded and unspectacular. Maybe his standards were just unusually high, since he'd been raised in a palace and now lived in another palace, but he was fairly certain that Jie and Yue had enough time to put a _little _more effort into their house's appearance.

Nevertheless, he briskly strode up and knocked on the door. It was answered by a somewhat frazzled-looking Jie.

"Oh, Master Shen!" exclaimed the Java green peacock. He cleared his throat hurriedly. "We, er, weren't expecting you…"

"I mentioned to Lanying that I was coming," explained Shen, not adding that he hadn't told her that he'd be visiting so soon. He hoped that he didn't sound too tippy. He and Jie looked at each other awkwardly for an uncomfortable moment, and Shen realized that he really didn't know all that much about Lanying's father. Yue usually dominated the conversation so well that Jie was able to remain more or less inconspicuous.

Jie's flamboyant crest flattened a bit. "Shall I get my daughter, then?"

"If you'd be so kind, sir," answered Shen mildly.

"It's no trouble. Please, come in…"

Shen stepped into what must have been the sitting room. Like the outside of the house, it was mundane and unspectacular. Some of the pieces of furniture were elegant, but the stacks of clutter here and there drained away any regal appearance the room may have been going for.

"Lanying will be in her room," said Jie, leading Shen up the stairs. "She's probably working on one of her little projects…oh, but did you say she was expecting you?"

"She's probably not expecting me," answered Shen honestly, following his host to the room on the upper story of the house. The door looked heavy and foreboding, as if it had been absorbing its occupant's brooding attitude over the years. Only a "keep out" sign would have made Lanying's desire for privacy more obvious.

Jie nodded at him to go ahead, and Shen shuffled forward and rapped on the door tentatively. After a second or so, Lanying tugged it open. When she saw who was standing there, her face blanched.

"Oh – M-Master Shen!" she sputtered. Her wings immediately moved to brush off her clothes – a fruitless motion, since both her hands and her eggshell-colored robe were smeared with various paint stains. "I'm so sorry, I'm not…" She lowered her eyes, embarrassed. "If I'd realized you meant you were coming _today_, then I would have made myself more presentable…"

"It's fine," Shen assured her, smiling slightly. Oddly enough, he thought that this look suited her much better than her forced finery. Sure, she was covered in paint and dressed in exceedingly threadbare clothing, but now he was seeing her in her element. She looked brighter than before, her eyes and posture filled with more vitality. "You look like you've been painting."

"I have. There's not much else to do when one is trapped in the house all the time…" She glanced pointedly at her father, but Jie was already heading back down the stairs.

"I'd like to see some of these paintings," said Shen. "If you don't mind, that is."

Lanying seemed very uncertain; she probably wasn't used to showing her artwork to an audience. But she opened her bedroom door wider, allowing Shen to pass through. He wasn't sure what he expected to find in her room, but it certainly wasn't the scene that awaited him.

The walls were layered with open scrolls – some small and mostly hidden, some enormous and demanding the attention of any onlookers. Every scroll displayed some sort of painting, the subjects of which varied from elaborate landscapes to abstract close-ups of plants. One of the biggest pieces in the room was a detailed rendition of Gongmen City, with the Tower of the Sacred Flame miraculously rebuilt and gleaming on the horizon. Shen noticed that a few of the deepest-buried scrolls seemed to depict Lanying herself in a variety of activities, but he couldn't see them very well.

There was a leaning tower of crates stacked in one corner, every one of which was filled with more carefully rolled scrolls. A set of shelves along one wall held a vast collection of paints and brushes. And the dresser top displayed a variety of found objects, little things that Lanying must have picked up in various places because she thought them beautiful.

Shen blinked, gazing around the room with widened eyes. There was almost too much to see. "You've done _all _of these?" he asked, amazed.

"Yes," answered Lanying. "It's taken me years to make this many pictures."

He shook his head in amazement, continuing to drink in the rich atmosphere of colors around him…which is when he caught sight of one scroll propped up on an easel that she must have been working on before he showed up. His breath hitched. "I-is that…"

Lanying opened her beak, then shut it. She turned away quickly.

Wordlessly, Shen moved towards the painting on the easel. It was a portrait of him, and even though it was less than half-finished, he was stunned by how accurate it was. He hadn't exactly been modeling for a picture, so this was something that Lanying must have figured out from memory. He wasn't sure if he should be disturbed or flattered that she was painting him.

"I-I hope you don't mind," said Lanying shamefacedly. "I needed a new subject, and, well…you just happened to be the first thing to come to mind."

"Why would you choose me?" Shen looked down at his white feathers. "I can't be all that interesting to paint."

"More interesting than you'd think. You have no idea how hard it can be to differentiate colors…everything starts blending together into mush, and soon you can't tell what you were painting in the first place. But you have such contrast." She tilted her head as she examined him with an artist's keen eye. "Black and red against white…it's a good combination, very striking to the eye."

While Shen tried to think of an appropriate response to that, she strode over to him and her scroll, continuing her artistic lecture.

"And not only that, but you have a certain _depth_ to you. A depth of the soul. I've always wanted to try conveying that sort of thing through my artwork, but I've never had an appropriate subject to try it with…" She cleared her throat. "Well, anyway, I hope you don't mind."

He stared at the unfinished portrait for a moment longer. "I suppose this means you're not angry with me anymore," he finally said.

She sighed. "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just a crazy spinster who doesn't know what she wants, apparently. And who can't get anyone to take her art seriously."

"I'm taking it seriously." He nodded appreciatively at the paintings on her walls. "I think it's all very good, actually."

"You do?" She tried to make the question sound offhand, but she sounded pleased.

"Oh, yes. I'm sure that when we go back to the Valley of Peace, you could find work as a portrait artist or something similar…"

"The Valley of Peace?" Lanying's eyes narrowed. "_We_, as in, both of us? Going _there_?"

"Oh, well, of course, that's where I live," Shen flailed. "And since you and I are, well, you know…" All right, this was his chance to tell her what was really going on. The words seemed suspended on his tongue; all he had to do was say _"Actually, Lanying, there's something I have to tell you. We're not actually going to get married. You see, I felt bad for you when I heard about your panic attacks, so what I want to do is take you back to the Valley of Peace so you can find work while we keep up the pretense of being engaged for a while…"_

That was what he should have said, but he didn't. He knew how it would sound, and he knew how she'd react. She'd think that he pitied her because she was a cripple and that was all that he'd ever done, that he didn't really care about her and was just trying to throw her a bone, and that would be the end of their brief good relations. Now he knew more about her and he didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he'd wait…just until he could think of a more tactful way to say it, he promised himself.

She breathed out. "No, I understand. You're only here temporarily, and once we're married, I'm expected to live with you…"

"Er, yes." He rubbed the back of his neck a bit. "Sorry to take you away from your home like this…"

"No, no, it's fine." She shook her head dismissively. "I'm a bit surprised, but…I don't feel any great attachment to Gongmen City."

Shen suddenly found himself unable to look at her. His eyes were dragged back the huge painting of Gongmen City and the Tower of the Sacred Flame…it was almost like she'd captured the image of an uncanny ghost tower that he'd been thinking of since his arrival here and placed it into her painting, solidifying his irrational fear.

Or maybe he was just confused and stressed by his situation, and this was why he was having weird dreams in the first place.

But all he said was, "Neither do I, Lanying…neither do I."

* * *

_A/N - This will be the last update for a while (maybe until after Christmas) because I have various other projects to work on, including a holiday-themed KFP story and an article for another site. Oh, and since my review count has dropped off the face of a cliff the past few chapters: don't think that I won't stop posting this here if no one reviews, because I will._


	14. Friends and fiancees

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 14: Friends and fiancées_

The two of them passed the time by just talking after that. Lanying spent a while explaining her family history, telling Shen that she and all of her ancestors were "green peafowl" from the island of Java and that she had been the first child to be born outside of her homeland. Her parents had immigrated to Gongmen City shortly after Shen's banishment, competing with many other visitors from around the world for a position of power. Even though they hadn't exactly ended up high on the political totem pole, they had decided that they preferred China to Java, accepted the political adviser positions offered to them, and made a home for themselves. As a result, Lanying had never met any of her other relatives.

"And if they're anything like my parents," she said, with a touch of bitterness creeping back into her voice, "then that suits me just fine."

"Have you ever tried _talking_ to your parents about this?" asked Shen. "I mean, it won't make things perfect, but if you at least gave them an idea of what you're going through…"

She wrinkled her beak. "Really? You're suggesting talking now? Since when has talking ever helped make anything better?"

_Since never_, Shen wanted to say, but he held his tongue.

"I'm done with my parents, whether they realize it or not. They turned me down without a second glance when I was a scared child just begging for them to hold me, and it only got easier for them to do things like that as I got older. Sure, they gave me food and shelter and bought me art supplies when I asked for them, and sometimes they assure me that they love me and only want what's best for me. But I don't believe them. I'm twenty-six years old, and for the past twenty-one years of my life there's been no sympathy…no affection…no love from either of them. They're too wrapped up in their own troubles to think of me as anything more than a _thing _that requires maintenance sometimes. So no, I don't think I'll be talking to them anytime soon. I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them."

Shen looked away, thinking in silence for a moment. "Lanying…there are ways to deal with this besides bitterness. Take it from someone who knows, getting pushed aside by your parents hurts, but letting it control your life will lead to decisions you'll regret."

"But how can I not let it control my life?" Lanying spread her wings out wide, gesturing to the room around her. "Look at where I am. I'm in my parents' house, where I've been stuck for the majority of my life. Every day I'm forced to deal with their idiocy. There's no reprieve, no friends to come and visit me, no Prince Charming about to come up to my window and whisk me far away on his noble steed."

He cracked a wry smile. "Well, I'm no Prince Charming, but I'll certainly whisk you far away, if that's what you want. I'll take you to a place where you have a chance, where your panic attacks won't soil peoples' perceptions of you."

She sighed, her head tilting towards her small bedroom window. Compared to all the magnificent paintings surrounding it, the view looked desaturated and uninspiring. "Anywhere but here," she said.

"I think you'll like the Valley of Peace," Shen assured her. "It's a nice place, very small, very intimate. There's plenty of other artisans there, so you'll certainly be able to find some form of employment. I mean, look at all this!" His eyes swept around the decorated room once more.

Lanying studied her unfinished portrait of him thoughtfully. "I know I'm not the best at what I do. I mean, I know that I haven't had a proper art tutor and that's not a good thing, but I've never thought that my paintings were all that awful, either. But I suppose they must be, since no one wants them…"

"Oh, come on. Nothing good will come of thinking that way." He approached her, tucking his hands into his sleeves. "You can't always let what other people say affect what you think of yourself.."

She rolled her eyes. "Everyone says that, but I have yet to find a person who can actually ignore harsh criticisms."

A soft knock sounded from the direction of the door, and Jie popped his head into the room without waiting for his daughter's permission to enter. "Lanying, it's time for dinner," he told her.

Lanying's crest rippled in irritation, her eyes narrowing, but all she said was, "Fine."

Jie cleared his throat as his eyes settled uncomfortably on Shen. "I would invite you to dinner, but we didn't realize you were coming, so my wife didn't prepare enough food for four people. Of course, if you really wanted to, we'd be happy to – "

"It's fine," Shen assured him. "I'm expected home for dinner, anyway. Well, not home, but – you know what I mean."

"Dinner arrangements might be a good idea, though, for sometime in the future," Jie suggested cautiously. "Sometime before you leave the city, perhaps. It would be a good way for our families to get to know each other better…"

"My entire family isn't here at the moment, but yes, that sounds lovely," answered Shen. "I'll have to speak to Masters Storming Ox and Croc about it, to discuss when and where, but I don't think that will be a problem. I'll be in touch with you soon."

"Sounds fine," agreed Jie as he shut the door.

Lanying heaved an exasperated sigh. "Well, I had better go wash up for dinner and change into something that isn't covered in paint. Goodbye, Shen. It was nice seeing you again."

"It was nice seeing you, too." He smirked a bit. "I knew there was a nice person somewhere in there."

She smiled back at him. Her eyes darted quickly from side to side, as if to check that her father had truly gone downstairs and wasn't listening at the door; then she stepped towards him, pursed her beak, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Shen automatically tensed – even after all these years, sudden signs of affection often took him off guard – and raised his hand to his face disbelievingly. "Um," he finally managed. "What was that for?"

"For being such a good model," responded Lanying smugly, gesturing to her painting. "And for taking me away from here."

His face continued to burn brightly all the way back from her house.

…

Shen made it back to the dormitory just before dinner was served, and everyone could tell that he was in a better mood than usual. He greeted Masters Storming Ox and Croc pleasantly, didn't even roll his eyes when the soothsayer rumpled his crest affectionately, and had a faint but constant smile on his beak throughout the entire meal. He was too contented to notice that Xun was shooting him a continuous semi-glare.

Finally, the wolf set down his chopsticks and asked sarcastically, "Have fun at your fiancée's house, lover-boy?"

"Yes, actually," answered Shen, not even bothering with the "she's not my fiancée" comment. "We talked a bit about her family heritage, and she showed me her paintings. She's a brilliant artist, did you know that? She had a few landscapes of Gongmen City that were absolutely stunning. And she was doing a portrait of me…done from memory, but very accurate nonetheless. I'm actually quite surprised that she hasn't found work yet, what with her talent…"

This was exactly what Xun didn't want to hear. His ears flattened, and he remained uncharacteristically silent through the rest of dinner. Not that Shen noticed; he was still cheerfully oblivious to his friend's glowering gaze.

The soothsayer was wise enough to recognize that Shen was exhibiting obvious symptoms of infatuation, which she had known would eventually happen. But Xun's behavior didn't escape her notice either. After dinner, once she had finished helping their hosts clear the dishes away, she glanced out a window and spotted Xun outside, standing perfectly still, his arms folded stiffly over his chest and his single red eye glaring up at the dark night sky.

She hobbled outside, leaning heavily on her cane, and peered at Xun from the top of the steps. She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Are you getting cold feet, pup?"

"H-huh?" Xun jumped a bit, snapping his head around. His hackles descended when he saw that it was only her, and he wiggled his toes a bit. "No, my feet aren't cold…"

The soothsayer gave him an incredulous stare until the meaning of her figurative language sank in.

"Oh…you mean, am I getting…oh." Xun sighed, and his breath became a white wisp in front of him. It was surprisingly cold out tonight. "It's just…we came here so that Shen and I could make cannons and fireworks and stuff, right? So I don't get why Shen is getting all worked up over some…_girl_! He's said multiple times that he's not _really_ gonna marry her, and yet he keeps blowing me off just to go spend time with her. What does he know about this chick, anyway?"

"My, my, Xun," chuckled the soothsayer. "This is quite a change. You're not usually the work-minded one."

He exhaled roughly. "Yeah…well…"

"Tell me, what's really bothering you more? The fact that Shen isn't focusing on the task that you came here to do…or the fact that you feel like _you're_ his best friend, not Miss Xifeng, and yet he's been spending much more time with her recently?"

Xun's eye dropped to the ground. He hadn't had the most attentive parents in the world as a child, so the soothsayer had been an unofficial nanny to him in his youth, raising him and Shen together as practically brothers – which of course meant that she could still read both of them as easily as a couple of children's picture books.

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "I mean, considering that I stayed friends with that stupid peacock even though he threw me aside, and yelled at me, and abused me, and _tried to freakin' kill me_…yeah, I'd appreciate a little acknowledgment from him."

She smiled knowingly, tottering down the stairs. "Xun, I promise, he's not about to forget you. You're his best friend. Just think of Miss Xifeng as a shiny new toy right now – he's enticed by her because she's new and exotic to him, but once he's around her more often, he'll once again be able to balance his time between her and everyone else. This is only a temporary situation at most."

"I guess you're right." Xun dropped his arms to his sides. "I just wish Shen hadn't gotten mixed up in this to begin with. I mean, just doing something to be nice is great and all, but this is getting really complicated. And just when I thought our family couldn't possibly get any weirder…"

"Oh, there's always rooms for things to get weirder." She shivered a bit. "It's chilly out here, isn't it? Come on, let's get back inside. You'll see, soon things will go back to normal…or whatever counts as normal for us."

"If you say so. I hope your magic Nana powers are right this time."

"Well really, have they ever let you down before?"

* * *

_A/N - At last, it returns!_

_Well, I was uninspired to write for a while, but I finally got a bit of my muse back and cranked this out. I hope I didn't lose my readers from not updating for several weeks, but last time I checked you were all hanging on edge for the next installment, so...yeah. Please remember to review so that I know you're still there!_


	15. Beautiful

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 15: Beautiful_

Shen slept restlessly that night, mostly because he kept stirring groggily to find himself thoroughly chilled, and he would clutch his blankets more tightly around his shoulders and roll over before he was even fully awake. This wasn't a particularly strange occurrence; he was rather used to getting cold during the night, so it wasn't until he opened his eyes early in the morning that he realized that something other than his fickle body temperature was at work. The sunlight streaming through the window of his room was unusually bright and bleached today. When he threw open the curtains, the mystery was solved.

"Snow," he breathed out.

It was late autumn, but a cold front seemed to have come in, bringing with it several inches of sparkling white snow. The rays of sunlight that penetrated the thick cloud cover made individual flakes sparkle like diamond grit strewn over every surface. Gongmen City looked as idyllic as an artist's fantastic portrayal of a winter wonderland.

This made him think of Lanying, and he smiled, wondering if she would also be waking up this morning to find a bout of artistic inspiration awaiting her. He almost felt like _he_ might like to paint this snowy landscape. He had spent his entire youth in Gongmen, but never before had he thought that it looked quite so…_beautiful_.

Xun sat up on his bed mat blearily, stirred out of sleep by the glaring light. "Wha…" he mumbled. "It's really bright out…"

"It seems to have snowed last night," remarked Shen.

"Seriously?" Xun clambered out of bed, smoothing back his sleep-tousled fur as he joined Shen at the window. "Woah, look at that. I thought it was a little early in the year for snow…"

"I hope it didn't snow in the Valley of Peace as well," Shen added as he had a sudden thought. Every year, the Jade Palace residents would have a massive snowball fight to celebrate the first snowfall of winter. "Kurisu will kill me if I miss it."

"Which reminds me." Xun turned towards his friend, propping up his chin in his paws. "I was going to ask you about this last night, but you were too busy fawning over your not-fiancee…anyway, do you know when we're going home?"

It seemed like such a simple question, so obvious that Shen had opened his beak to answer before he realized that he didn't know how to respond.

"I mean, stuff in the factory has been moving along pretty slowly," continued Xun. "Which you wouldn't know since you're always leaving early, _lover-boy_. At any rate, do Masters Storming Ox and Croc expect us to stay here until the new defenses are completed? Because if they do, then we won't be going home anytime soon. And quite frankly, I don't want to stay here much longer. We have to work a lot, and people always stare at us when we go out to do something, and besides, Winter Festival is coming up in a few more weeks…"

Shen didn't respond for a few seconds. He thought about the Valley of Peace, the Jade Palace, his family and his everyday life that had kept him content until his panic attacks began. Then he directed his gaze back out the window, towards the snow-laden landscape of Gongmen City, and felt a sudden surge of homesickness. Wouldn't it be nice to be in a place where people weren't constantly frightened or wary of him, where he could go about his daily life without being reminded of his past misdeeds by every solitary stick and stone?

Besides, he had promised Lanying that he would take her far away from here. She'd already spent twenty-six years under her parents' thumbs; she was probably aching for a reprieve as soon as she could get it.

_You can't take her home with you until you tell her that you're not actually planning to marry her_, an internal voice reminded him, but he pushed the issue aside once again.

"I'll talk to the masters about it," Shen finally answered. "I'm sure they can't expect us to stay here forever – we're not exactly welcome here. I just have a few last things to finish up before we can go. Getting the cannons done, arranging a dinner with Lanying's parents…"

"…and, of course, telling Lanying the truth," prompted Xun.

Shen sighed. "I'll get to it, Xun. Don't nag me about it."

"You _do_ realize where this is headed, right?" the wolf pressed on. "The longer you wait, the more she'll get attached to you. Maybe she'll even fall in love with you, 'cause she'll think, 'Well, he's gonna be my husband, so there's no point in me not loving him.' And the more attached to you she is, the more broken up and royally pissed she'll be when she finds out that you were never going to marry her in the first place. And you wouldn't like that, would you?"

"You have some grand ideas about love, Xun, considering that you've never been in love," retorted Shen. "It's not something that pops up instantaneously or happens after a few days, you know. Love takes weeks or months or years to be fully realized. So I know that Lanying is not in love with me…nor am I in love with her."

"Oh, don't give me that crap. You can't deny that you're attracted to her. I saw your face all last night, lover-boy. You've fallen hard, haven't you?"

Shen rolled his eyes. "Of course I haven't. Attraction and love are two different things. Besides, I had just come back from seeing what seemed to be an entire museum crammed into her room. It was all absolutely stunning, so of course I was a bit wide-eyed when I came home."

Xun was smarter than his friend gave him credit for; he knew the difference between art appreciation and just straight-up infatuation. But he didn't press the issue any further. The last thing he needed was another argument resulting in a multi-day silent treatment. So all he said was, "You should go see what we're going to do about working today. The snow might mess everything up."

"Will do," Shen agreed, casting a last glance out at the newly wintry scenery of Gongmen City before hurrying off to get dressed for breakfast.

…

Not enough snow had fallen to justify the Gongmen City denizens delaying their daily activities, but very few people actually wanted to work when such a veritable source of entertainment lay just beyond their doors. Parents had a duty to go outside and play with their children, and couples had an engagement to take romantic winter strolls. Masters Storming Ox and Croc were no more inclined to exert themselves today than anyone else, so it was decided that the fireworks factory employees working on the new defenses would be given an impromptu holiday. It was probably a perfect day for doing nothing. Everyone was in a cheerful, relaxed mood, and the entire city seemed to have been purged of its usual hurried atmosphere.

The soothsayer had received a letter from Lady Biming back at the Jade Palace, and she settled down by the fire to read it. Whatever news it carried seemed to delight her, as she went over it several times with increasing joy, but she refused to tell Shen and Xun what it said. "It's a private matter between me and Lady Biming," she insisted. "And Lady Biming asked me not to please share it with you two."

Shen found the whole affair to be rather odd, as Lady Biming had never been one to keep secrets, but he brushed the matter aside and decided to bundle up and take a walk around the palace grounds. He knew that he'd probably be goaded into a snowball fight with Xun later and wanted to enjoy the peace while it lasted.

So, with his cloak around his shoulders, he stepped into the magnificently frosty tranquility garden…and what a sight it was. The cold air stung his lungs slightly, but not enough to lessen the enjoyment of just drinking in winter's natural beauty. Maybe his relations with Lanying were beginning to give him an artist's perception of the world, because he never would have thought that this simple sight was so awe-inspiring. Then again, he reflected, it was good to meet new people and be confronted with new ideas. Allowing your view of the universe to become stagnant caused unhappiness and even madness, as he very well knew.

But that didn't mean that he was attracted to her. Of course it didn't; Xun and Nana were simply misinterpreting things, that was all. Shen knew that at home he would have been even more mercilessly teased for daring to speak to a female, as if it was the first time that two members of the opposite sex had ever dared to socialize with each other. Well, just because he thought that Lanying was an interesting person and had entered into a false engagement with her and was reluctant to reveal the truth about that engagement didn't mean that he had a romantic interest in her.

Did it?

"Lovely weather, isn't it?"

Shen spun around, tensing. A familiar peahen was standing by the entrance to the tranquility garden with her wings folded behind her back and a familiar smile on her beak.

"Lanying!" he exclaimed. "What in the world are you doing here?" Realizing that was probably an idiotic question, he added, "You snuck out again, didn't you?"

"I don't have the slightest idea of what you're talking about," she replied airily, stepping towards him. He tilted his head as he noticed her clothes for the first time. Gone were the ill-fitting dress robe, the green cloak, and even the paint-splattered smock – instead she was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and pants, both in earth tones with gold accents, and a yellow and orange scarf tied at the base of her neck. The garments fit her well, brought out the natural beauty of her plumage, and expressed a hint of personal choice and style…but that wasn't the only reason why his eyes widened as he continued to look at her.

When he had first met Lanying, she was closed-up and bitter. Her very physical appearance had conveyed her tiredness and frustration with her lifestyle. There was none of that now. Instead, she looked fresh and bright and confident and almost _happy_. He remembered being struck by Yue's beauty during their first meeting; for the first time, Shen was realizing that Lanying was beautiful, too.

"You look…_stunning_," he finally said.

"Stunning?" Lanying acted modest, although she was obviously pleased by the compliment. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far…"

"There's something different about you." Shen strode up to her, noting how much her bold colors stood out against the white snow.

"Do you mean, my clothes?" She tugged on her scarf a bit. "Well, Mother was so pleased by the possibility of dinner arrangements that she let me go buy some new clothes. And by that I mean she let me go by myself, and I got to pick them out. The lady in the store told me that this suited me…"

"Well, the lady in the store was right, but that's not all." He stood before her, gazing into her face. "Look at how spirited you are today."

She shrugged. "I've been in a good mood since our little meeting yesterday. I'm not sure why."

"It's the same for me. I suppose you're just happy that you're finally getting out of here, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's probably it." She cleared her throat meaningfully. "And about that…when exactly _are_ we going to get out of here?"

"Xun – er, my friend – asked me the same question earlier today, and the answer is I don't know." Shen sighed. "I'll tell you as soon as I do. In the meantime, we need to finalize those dinner arrangements, don't we? The masters have told me that they'd be delighted to have their political advisors to supper whenever it is convenient…"

"Hmm…" Lanying thought on it for a moment. "My parents are going out of town tomorrow for some assignment or something. They'll be frazzled when they come back, so…how about we have the dinner in two weeks' time? They'll be more than ready by then."

"Two weeks." Shen nodded, knowing that it meant he'd have to stay in Gongmen for probably longer than two weeks, but he could live that long. After decades spent in exile, two weeks was nothing.

"In the meantime," she continued, "I'll have a lot more freedom than I've had for a while, since my parents will be out of town and have finally decided that I'm old enough to handle myself. So...when we see each other, we don't have to be confined to one location. We can go places. Be spontaneous, and all that."

Shen chuckled. "I could go for a bit of spontaneity."

"Good."

Silence fell between them, but they continued to look at each other, both unsure of what exactly to say next. And then something very strange happened. It was so sudden that later Shen didn't even remember the moment of transition. It seemed as if one minute that only their eyes were connected, and the next…

The kissing of two peafowl – or really, any kind of bird – is an action that almost needs preplanning. Both parties have to consent, come close together, angle their heads in the right way, and part their beaks slightly before the simple gesture of affection can take place. But Shen and Lanying did not communicate that they wanted their first kiss to happen beforehand, not with words, not with gestures, not even with a meaningful gaze. It was a quick, effortless, but powerful kiss, and there was no conscious thought in it. It just sort of…_happened_.

Shen wasn't entirely sure of what he had just done until they both pulled back, and it seemed that the same revelation had just struck Lanying, because they proceeded to gape at each other for several long seconds. Finally, she turned her eyes down, smiling sheepishly. "Well…I should be getting home now. I'm not really supposed to be here. But I'll see you in a few days."

"See you in a few days," Shen echoed, still frozen and blinking like an idiot. The smile she flashed him over her shoulder as she hurried away stayed with him, flushing him with a warmth that wasn't impacted in the least by the chill of the day.

He exhaled shakily, and his breath swirled into twisting eddies and whorls in front of him. After that, he couldn't lie about his feelings, not even to himself. He _liked_ Lanying – liked her in a way that he wasn't supposed to like her. And he also knew that he wasn't going to tell her that their engagement had started out as false, not now, not when he next saw her, probably not ever. What was the point? She _wanted_ to marry him now, and not just because it meant getting away from her parents. They'd all but signed a written declaration of their mutual attraction. And, frankly, what would be so bad about marrying her? Oh, there were older couples who joked about the evils of marriage, of course, but no one he knew had actually been made miserable by the union.

He felt almost guilty, and told himself that there was no reason for him to be ashamed of his own feelings. He wasn't trying to take advantage of Lanying; what he felt for her was genuine. Maybe years from now, when they were married and comfortable with each other, he'd tell her about his original plan and they'd both laugh about how it had turned out…

He couldn't help but smile at the thought. He and Lanying, married for years and comfortable with each other…it seemed like an ideal situation to him now, and one within reach.

His decision made, he drew his cloak tighter around his shoulders and went back inside.

…

Jie and Yue Xifeng had told the Masters Council that Lady Xuilan had left the city. This was not a lie, not really, for they didn't know any better. But it wasn't true. Xuilan was still within the walls of Gongmen City, spending her days holed up in a dingy room of a shady inn, planning and waiting.

"We'll have to split up, Ming," she told the spotted linsang who was still her captive audience. "You'll go for the daughter. She's not trained in any useful skills, so she should be easy to take. Capture her, maybe injure her a bit if it's absolutely necessary, but don't kill her or give her any wounds that might be fatal. I need her alive in order to negotiate with her parents.

"As for me…I'll take the peacock. I want his blood on my hands, and I want to revel in it. I'll finish the job that he was too cowardly to complete – I'll realize the destiny that he was too weak to live up to.

"By the time I'm through with him, he'll be wishing that he died when that cannon fell on top of him."

* * *

_A/N - Holy shit, I see 50+ reviews up there! Thanks, you guys! Here's a new chapter for your reward, and remember to keep it up!_


	16. The truth comes out

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 16: The truth comes out_

Two weeks.

That was how much longer Shen had to stay in Gongmen City: two weeks. That is, provided that he had all of the cannons he was commissioned to build at least halfway down the assembly line by that time, and that Jie and Yue Xifeng arrived home from their unknown excursion before the dinner date – but there was no doubt in the peacock's mind that both of those things would happen. He was ready to go home, ready to head back to his normal life and take Lanying with him. So he would make sure that everything went according to plan before the two weeks were up.

He was surprised when the time didn't pass as slowly as he'd thought it might. Work in the fireworks factory became almost leisurely as he slipped back into his element and had the chance to exercise his inventive mind, and he and Xun managed to avoid any further spats. Once every few days, he and Lanying would arrange to meet at her parents' house, and then the two of them would go off into the city in order to experience all of the sights and sounds it had to offer.

This was not as enjoyable as he'd believed it would be, for Lanying was unable to even pretend that she was comfortable in the city. The crowds set her on edge, making her cringe at even the barest brush of accidental contact; the sounds of civilians shouting to each other, carts' wheels scraping against the streets, and vendors' wares jingling were visibly grating on her nerves; and she recoiled from the most mundane activities as if they were dangerous obstacles, always veering away from things like rickshaws clattering by or crews performing building repairs. She usually followed close behind him or right at his side, and if he ever parted from her for a few moments, she would stand stock-still in one spot until he returned, as tense and frightened as a child separated from her parents.

"You need to loosen up," Shen told her one day, worriedly watching her flinch as they moved down a particularly busy road. "Nothing here will hurt you, I promise."

Lanying didn't answer at first, though she almost made a grab for his arm when a rickshaw passed by her a few feet away. Despite the kiss they'd shared not so long ago, she had been very particular about maintaining a low level of physical contact with him. He assumed it was because she was simply unused to having people touch her.

"It's funny," she finally said. "During all that time I spent locked up in my bedroom, all I could think about was having my freedom. Now I've got my freedom, and I'd rather be painting in my room by myself."

"Well, you can't simply be thrown into anything, even your freedom," he assured her. "After all, you've been trapped inside for most of your life, so I'm not surprised that the city makes you skittish. You'll probably do better in the Valley of Peace – it's not nearly as crowded or busy there."

She sighed. "This is pathetic. I'm twenty-six years old, and I don't know how to act like a normal, calm person in public."

"Nonsense." He spotted a bench out near a storefront, away from the swarming mass of people. "Would you like to sit down for a moment?"

She obliged, and the two of them darted to the side of the street, sitting side by side on the bench. Shen noticed that Lanying's breathing seemed slightly irregular, and she was beginning to gulp in unnecessarily large mouthfuls of air. Her body was trembling slightly. "Are you having a panic attack?" he asked, alarmed. He had practically forgotten about her anxiety condition.

Lanying shook her head. "No…just a few panic symptoms, that's all. Not a full-blown attack. This happens sometimes. Don't you worry about me, I'll be perfectly fine in a few more minutes…besides, I've only ever had panic attacks at night."

That evening, when he returned to the dormitory, he decided to talk the situation over with the soothsayer. His nanny sighed and said, "Most any person who has spent most of their life in one remote location will struggle when they reach the outside world. You were like that when you were a chick…after all, you never even left the Tower of the Sacred Flame until you were six years old."

"Well, I turned out all right in that regard, didn't I?" responded Shen. He still wasn't crazy about crowds, of course, but he rarely got as anxious as Lanying.

"Yes, but remember, you were only a child when you began to get acclimated to the outside world. Lanying is a grown woman, and she probably hasn't been out into the city two dozen times in her life. At this point, she may never become entirely used to it…but we'll see, of course."

Shen's eyes flickered thoughtfully. "All we can do is try."

After a few seconds of silence, the soothsayer heaved a sigh. "Now that you know Miss Xifeng a little better, Shen, you should know that she's not quite self-supporting. Oh, I'm sure that she'll be able to manage her finances and maintain a home once she gets her own job, but…she needs emotional support. Without someone there for her, I doubt that she will make it very far."

He lifted his head resolutely. "Whatever she needs, I'm willing to provide for her."

The soothsayer looked at him reproachfully, even smirking a little, but she didn't say anything more.

…

Two weeks.

Shen was almost stunned when he realized that the allotted amount of time was nearly over. Most of his belongings were packed now, and he imagined that Lanying's were too. He wondered if she was counting the days with even more fervor than he was, eagerly awaiting the morning when she would be able to leave Gongmen City, her gilded cage, and her parents far behind.

Lanying's parents had returned home right on schedule, so Shen was unable to see her again for a few days. Fortunately, he had the arrangements for the upcoming formal dinner to keep him occupied. The implications of the event were nerve-wracking; this would be the first time that the Xifengs would be around Xun and the soothsayer for more than a few minutes, and also probably his last real meeting with his future in-laws until the wedding. He scrambled about with Masters Storming Ox and Croc, collecting the cutlery and selecting the dishes that the cooks would prepare. He normally wouldn't have gotten so worked up over a supper, but this time, he felt that everything had to be perfect.

When the big day (or, as he had begun to think of it, the "day of judgment") arrived, he did not report to the fireworks factory; he didn't want a single speck of soot on his white feathers when the Xifengs arrived that evening. Xun did go to work, but only for an hour or two, since the two former criminals were barely needed at all this far in the production process. For everyone in the dormitory, the afternoon was spent cleaning up and changing into their finest dress clothes. Even the soothsayer put on a few layers of silver silk robes that Shen hadn't even known she'd brought with her.

At last, the tension was over, the table was set, and the Xifengs arrived. All three Java green peafowl were wearing their finest robe, with Lanying adorned in what must have been another new outfit – a sleek, trim garment all done up in red and gold. Even this choice of clothing spoke of serious intentions, as red was the color of good luck and, consequently, marriage. Shen was essentially seeing a preview of what she would look like in her wedding gown.

The dinner started out pleasantly enough. Pleasantries were exchanged, compliments on the quality of the food were spoken, and Jie and Yue began sharing a few details of their trip. It was only when the drinks were served that things began to go awry.

As with any truly special occasion, an alcoholic beverage was offered to everyone: sake. Shen had been drunk only once before, on his seventeenth birthday, and had caused a particularly foolish incident involving explosives that dissuaded him from repeating the experience. He didn't drink now, but when the glass was brought before him, he warily took a few tiny sips to be polite. Xun mimicked his friend's behavior, not wanting to disgrace himself even though he usually wasn't adverse to more potent beverages, and the masters flat-out declined the drinks. As it turned out, there was only one person who downed copious glasses of the sake, and that was Yue.

Yue acted as if what she was drinking was no more powerful than juice, and consumed several glasses of it. The more intoxicated she became, the more talkative she got, and her accent thickened and obscured her words as she chattered on about the trip she had taken with her husband.

"You know I was adverse to leaving Lanying by herself. She can be so, how you say, unstable," Yue prattled on, as Lanying dropped her eyes and flattened her crest. "And of course, when we get back she tell me that she has had one of her panic attacks when we were gone."

Shen arched his eyebrows, shooting Lanying a meaningful look, since she hadn't told _him_ that. But Lanying was still glowering and embarrassed and didn't meet his eyes.

"And I of course say, why are you telling me this? What good does it do me or you? This has been going on for so many years, and yet Lanying still never thinks of other people! She is so selfish, never thinking of how I work hard to hide her away and protect our family's honor and how much of an embarrassment it is for me to have a daughter such as her!"

With that, Yue lapsed into colorful-sounding Javanese words, while Lanying sank down into her seat with her face hidden in her wings. Jie tried not to groan too loudly and gently chided his wife in their native tongue. Everyone else, including Shen, gave Lanying discreet sympathetic glances to show that they didn't agree with her mother's frank stupidity. Honestly, that last bout of babbling had sparked Shen's temper a bit. Lanying was suffering from a condition that her parents could neither cure nor understand, and her mother was more concerned about how it impacted _her social standing_? That was the most blatant example of selfishness he'd ever seen.

…

Lanying didn't say another word throughout the rest of the dinner, reverting back to her bitter, closed-up default mode. She was holding back a torrent of insults that she would have loved to scream at her mother, and they tasted as bitter and sharp as a rusty knife held against her tongue. _Tomorrow morning_, she reminded herself. _It will all be over tomorrow morning. And you'll see that it will all have been worth it…_

Tomorrow morning was the day that Shen would leave, and she'd go with him without looking back once. A few weeks ago she'd been dreading their marriage, but he'd shown her a side of him that she had never imagined existed, and now all she could think of was the blessed great escape that their union would bring. She knew that she was developing feelings for him, but in a way that frightened her, because she had never loved anyone before. How did she know that what she felt for him was real? What if she was simply clinging to him because he was there, as no one had ever been before? How could she tell the difference between emotional need and real love?

Either way, there wasn't much she could do about her situation now; things had been going surprisingly well, and she just had to hope that they would continue that way.

At the end of the meal, when the last of the desert dishes had been cleared away, her father stood up and cleared his throat. "Master Shen, my wife and I wish to offer our thanks to you on the behalf of our daughter," he announced. "Your generous offer has been a blessing to our family."

"It's no trouble at all," replied Shen, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"We understand that you are leaving tomorrow." Jie seemed slightly uneasy. "My wife and I would like to speak to you before you bring our daughter home with you."

Shen nodded, pushing out his chair. Jie led his slightly disoriented wife around the table, shooting a glance at Lanying that told her to stay put, and followed Shen out into the hallway. The soothsayer left, too, most likely wanting to hear the conversation, and Masters Storming Ox and Croc had gotten up to help carry serving trays into the kitchen or something. That left just Xun and Lanying in their seats.

Lanying had not been intending to engage in conversation with the wolf. She knew that he was the former Wolf Boss, and also that he was Shen's friend or something, but that didn't exactly compel her to talk to him. So she was surprised when he cleared his throat and said carefully, "So, you're coming home with us tomorrow."

Startled, she looked up at him. "Um, yes, that's right."

"So, has Shen told you about…the plan?"

"Plan?" She narrowed her eyes. "What plan?"

Xun exhaled roughly. "That dumb peacock…okay, since Shen refuses to tell you this, I'm gonna tell you. For your own good, 'cause you had to find out about it eventually…anyway, Shen's not really going to marry you."

If Lanying had been drinking something, she would have spit it out all over the table. As it was she sat bolt upright in her chair, her eyes widening. "_Excuse me?_ Of course Shen is going to marry me! He's the one who offered in the first place!"

"Well, it was a fake offer, okay?" Xun seemed irritated and slightly uncomfortable. "After he heard that you had panic attacks, he felt bad for you and decided he wanted to take you back to the Valley of Peace with him…you know, so that you could get a job without people being prejudiced against you, and stuff. He didn't want you to end up going crazy like he did, which was why he told your parents he would marry you. He said he was going to tell you, but then he never did, for some reason. I dunno, I figured I should tell you…I didn't want to see you getting any false hopes."

"False hopes…" Lanying echoed. Her shoulders were heaving, and she was panting angrily.

"Anyway, I should probably go…" Xun's single eye darted from side to side nervously, and he quickly darted up from the table and out of the room, not eager to stick around and see what the consequences of his words would be.

…

Shen's last task was to douse the final worries of Jie Xifeng (Yue was a bit too drunk to fully participate in the conversation). Yes, Lanying would be fine with him; yes, he had enough money to support her and to pay for the wedding; yes, he'd send a letter telling them when exactly the wedding would be. At last Jie was satisfied, and he took his wife to wait outside while Shen fetched Lanying. This would be Shen's final opportunity to see Lanying before tomorrow, and he was hoping that she might let him kiss her again.

When he walked back into the dining room, he found her standing stiffly in front of the table, glaring at him.

"Lanying…?" he said uncertainly.

"I know," she stated flatly.

"You _know_? Know what?"

Suddenly, he felt a shocking burst of cold splash the front of his silk robe. She had picked up a half-empty glass from the table and hurled its contents at him.

"I know that you've been using me!" she cried. "You were _never intending to marry me_? How convenient that you never told me about that!"

Shen felt a rush of cold surge through him that had nothing to do with the stain on his robe. Here he was, just inches from his goal, and he had been caught. The truth had come out at the last – and worst – possible moment.

"H-how…" He swallowed weakly. "How did you find out?"

"Your friend Xun told me!" She bared her beak in a snarl, before snapping away from him and throwing her wings into the air. "All this time…all this time I was surprised by how much of a gentleman you were, and it really was too good to be true! You've been baiting me this whole time! Luring me in with charming _lies_! You 'empathize' with me because you have panic attacks as well? I can't believe I fell for that!"

"Lanying, I wasn't lying!" Shen interjected desperately. "If you would just give me a second to explain – "

"_Explain_? Oh, I see, you want to come up with more lies that I'll believe hook, line, and sinker! Well, I've reached the end of my rope with you, you _monster_! Tell me, if you weren't planning to marry me once we arrived in the Valley of Peace, then what exactly were you going to do with me? Enslave me? Turn me into your mistress?"

"It wasn't like that at all…" Shen's voice was small, faint, hopeless. "I…I never wanted to hurt you, honestly…"

"Then why did you trick me?" Lanying panted angrily, beads of moisture forming at the corners of her violet eyes. "What could you possibly hope to gain?"

Shen opened his beak, but no sound came out. His voice had entirely deserted him.

Lanying shoved past him as she angrily hurried out the door, hitching up the long hem of her robe, and all Shen could do was stand there and continue to gape at her as she never once looked back.


	17. For real

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 17: For real_

Shen stood there staring out in the direction that Lanying had fled, even after she had long since vanished from sight. For a minute or so, he wondered if he was in shock. After all, he should have felt anguished, heartbroken, disappointed, _something_…but all he felt was empty.

However, that emptiness didn't last long before something hot and livid rose up in him, scorching his throat and clenching all of his muscles tightly. He bit back a snarl with some effort, his feathered fingers coiling into fists as he tore out of the kitchen and into his bedroom.

"Xun!" he barked, yanking open the door.

The wolf, who had been completing the last of his packing for tomorrow's journey, started. "What – huh?"

"_What in the gods' name have you done_?" hissed Shen, finding himself instinctively trying to slip a knife that wasn't there from the sleeve of his robe.

"What are you talking about?" Xun scrambled to his feet, taking an involuntary step backwards. He'd heard the soothsayer and Lady Biming say a few times that Shen's control of his temper wasn't perfect yet, that sometimes in the most emotionally high-strung situations he could still slip into an incoherent rage. He had known that the potential for these episodes had existed…but he'd never actually seen one before.

As Shen advanced, it was clear to see that there was something not entirely sane in his eyes. The muscles of his face were stretched taut, causing his eyelids to twitch irregularly, and the rest of his body had twisted into a predatory stance. "You told Lanying that I was _using her_?" he shouted. "You told _my fiancée _a blatant lie to turn her against me?"

Xun straightened his shoulders and drew himself up, making up his mind that he wouldn't be intimidated. After all, this was the Shen he knew, not the monster who had dominated his friend's mind for decades. "On the contrary, I told her the truth! And she's not your fiancée, remember?"

"Well, not anymore!" Shen lashed out and struck the wolf hard in the chest. Xun staggered back slightly, stumbling against the wall. "Now she's gone – because of _you_!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's not that big of a deal!" Xun rubbed his chest, unable to stop himself from remembering the knife that had sliced through his armor long ago. "I know you wanted to help her, but you should have told her the truth! I didn't like seeing the two of you making googly eyes at each other when I knew it wasn't real! Besides, it's not as if you were actually…" Which was when he realized what must have really sparked Shen's anger, and he squeezed his eye shut. "Oh, no."

Shen narrowed his eyes suspiciously, his head darting forward a bit.

"You…you actually fell in love with her!" Xun tried to lean forward, only to find a lithe wing pinning him against the wall. "I can't believe you! You _were_ going to marry her, weren't you? That's why you never told her about your plan!"

"Shut up!" Shen snarled, shoving a bared beak into Xun's face.

"I will NOT shut up! You weren't supposed to fall in love with her! That wasn't what we came here for!"

"I said _SHUT UP!_" Shen slammed the wolf against the wall, and Xun winced, allowing a sort of muffled fear to poke through his unfazed guise. "Who are you to tell me what I'm not meant to be doing? For as long as I've known you, all you've ever done is cause trouble for me! Every time I get close to one of my goals, you're that one extra piece that causes me to trip at the finish line! Well, I finally found someone who trusted me, who could look at me without having to remember what I was before, and I lost her…because of YOU! I've got a mind to – "

"_Sheng Li, control your temper this instant_!"

Both of their heads snapped towards the doorway. The soothsayer was standing there, hooves tightly clutching her walking stick, glaring at her "children" fiercely. Shen stared at her for a long moment, before blinking rapidly several times, looking at Xun with an expression of mild surprise, and releasing his grip. Xun sucked in a shaky breath, rubbed his chest, and scampered out of the room.

Shen raised a wing to his head. His flash of anger departed him as quickly as it had overtaken him, leaving only tangled, murky memories of violence and screamed threats. The soothsayer continued to gaze at him sternly, waiting for him to regain his bearings before she scolded him further. She knew that Shen's little episodes were close to rage blackouts, and that he never remembered much of what he'd done or said during them after they ended.

After a little more than a minute, when her chick seemed somewhat less disoriented, she asked, "Better?"

"No." Shen squeezed his eyes shut and slumped against the wall, looking utterly defeated. She studied his face carefully to see if there was any trace of tears trickling out between his eyelids, but there was no dampness that she could see. "This is the worst night of my life…"

"Nonsense, dear, you've had far worse…" The soothsayer approached him carefully, placing a somewhat tentative hoof on his arm. "What on earth were you shouting about? I can't remember the last time I saw you get so…furious…"

Shen heaved a resigned sigh. "Xun told Lanying that I wasn't actually going to marry her."

She blinked, startled. "Well, that wasn't very tactful of him…but you do realize, the truth had to come out eventually…"

He glared at her. "Well, considering you've been prancing about with your matchmaker predictions, you should know that it wasn't the truth anymore!"

She flared, reaching up to grab and painfully twist his crest. He yelped. "Don't you speak to me that way, young man!" Then she released him and tried to summon a stoic and wise expression. "But, yes, anyway…" She exhaled slightly. "Yes, I did assume that you would find more than a charity case in Miss Xifeng. How did she react when she found out?"

Shen dropped his eyes to the floor. "She…she thinks I was using her the whole time. That all that time we spent together, where I tried my best to act gentlemanly and supportive, was just an act. And really, considering what she's heard about me, I can't blame her…"

The soothsayer reached up and squeezed his shoulder gently. "Shen, you know that when people are upset, they do and say things that they don't mean – you're living proof of that. Just give her a bit of time to calm down, and then explain what's really going on. The two of you have been together for weeks and weeks now. I'm sure that deep down, she doesn't truly believe that you would play her this entire time."

"And…will that work?" She looked at him expectantly.

She spread her hands out in front of her. "You're asking _me_? You're the one who's gotten to know Miss Xifeng since we've been here, not me."

"But you're the one who can see the future…"

"As if my abilities have ever been an exact science." She rolled her eyes. "I can see the path that the future will take, Shen, but not every single little bump and crack in the road. I saw that you would fall for the Xifengs' daughter, and that much has come true. Whether or not the two of you end up together is yet to be determined. Besides, you ought to stop relying on predictions and take action…sometimes, your destiny can be what you turn it into."

Shen stared off into space thoughtfully, but he didn't say anything more. After a moment of silence, the soothsayer stood up and exited quietly, deciding to leave him to his pondering (and to go and find where Xun had gotten off to).

Shen sat down on his bed mat and shifted into lotus position, but instead of meditating, he continued to chew over this situation with Lanying. He wasn't entirely sure what to do, what he could say to her to ever make this any better. He didn't want to leave her here; in all likelihood, she'd spend the rest of her life alone, entrapped under her parents' rule, suffering from panic attacks and a fear of crowds and cursing his name because he'd broken her heart. But was it crueler to leave her like that, or to drag her along with him involuntarily, forever striving for the forgiveness that she'd probably never give him?

There was only one course of action he could think of: tomorrow morning, he would bring her with him on the journey back to the Valley of Peace, and then he would stop seeing her. She was a smart girl; she could find herself a job, a new life, and probably someone else to give her the emotional support she needed. That was the way it had to be, of course. He should have known better than to hope that a monster like him could win over any girl.

Maybe he had really loved her; maybe it was just an infatuation that would eventually fade. Either way, it was kinder to let her go.

…

Lanying was even more surly than usual on the way home. Yue was too intoxicated to notice that something was amiss, and Jie simply assumed that she was still upset and embarrassed over her mother's words. She didn't tell him about what she knew now. What was the point? Her parents wouldn't comfort her, they wouldn't support her, and they wouldn't even offer to help her figure out how to make things better. She knew from experience that they'd either just stand there gaping at her like idiots, or else they'd delight in her sadness, acting as if it had taught her a much-needed lesson. So she'd just play their little game, and go along with the monster that they had engaged her too.

Was this the gods' way of punishing her for finally deciding to open up to someone? Everything had been going so well, and suddenly she'd learned that the unexpectedly good turn her life had taken was just another lie. And Shen had seemed to _sincere_, as well! She was normally overly cautious around everyone, and she thought she'd been doubly so around a potentially insane former warlord. How had she managed to let him dupe her?

Finally reaching her parents' house, she stomped upstairs to her room without a word and changed into her sleeping robe with deliberate, robotic movements. Of course, she knew exactly what he'd done to win her over. _"I'm not prejudiced against you because of your panic attacks…I have them, too," _he'd said. And of course she'd fallen for it. She'd been so starved for empathy and affection, so desperate to believe that someone cared about her, that she'd left all of her common sense behind. Shen had complimented her artwork and expressed concern about her panic attack, and that had been all it had taken to get her to fall for him.

Lanying flopped down on her bed, looking around at her now-barren room. Her painting scrolls and found objects had been densely packed into the crates now stacked by the door; the few pieces of clothing she'd decided to take with her served as padding for her art supplies, save the outfit that she'd wear tomorrow. Tomorrow…

Tomorrow morning Shen would show up here again, and she would be expected to accompany him home. What would she do? She'd probably go with him, submitting herself to an all-new miserable life as the wife of a devious murderer. It couldn't be much worse than living with her parents, except for the part where he'd probably use her for his own pleasure. Then again, he'd already "used" her through manipulating her emotions. She doubted that she could get any lower than she was right now.

The idea of fighting her fate never occurred to her. Lanying had stopped fighting a long time ago, around the time that every printer in the city had rejected her prose. Her last hope for a free life had been dashed back then – she didn't believe that anything would work out this time.

She hadn't wanted to let go of her first chance of experiencing love, but nonetheless, her hands had been pried away.

…

_Shen was blind. He waved a wing in front of his face and couldn't see it; he gazed around him wildly and still had no idea what his surroundings looked like. All he could guess was that he was somewhere dark, and cold, and dangerous._

_The danger was something that he could feel, like an electrical current in the air. He didn't need to see any physical obstacles to know that he was in dire peril. He was exposed, unable to see, and every fiber of his body screamed at him that something was coming. Something terrible…_

_He heard rustling sounds all around him. Were they unintelligible whispers, or leaves and branches blowing in an intangible breeze? The noises didn't last long enough for him to figure it out. Suddenly, a solid force struck him hard in the center of his chest, and he toppled to the ground. He squinted into a strange gray light that began to pulse in front of him._

_At long last, he could see again…but the sight that awaited him was hardly a comforting one. For towering high above him in a swirling mass of gray and bloody scarlet was _her_, the enemy who had invaded his dreams for so long. Her deep crimson eyes burned into him as she reenacted the scene he had witnessed so many times before, clasping her hands around a gleaming silver dagger as she prepared to drive it down into his heart…_

And suddenly Shen realized that he wasn't dreaming anymore, because the room had slammed back into existence around him, and he was aware of the blankets tangled around his legs and the intense beating of his own heart that so often accompanied his awakening from a nightmare. But one thing hadn't changed. One detail of the dream had carried over into waking, for the first time becoming entirely and horribly real.

Lady Xuilan was standing over him, pointing a knife towards his chest.


	18. How to save a life

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 18: How to save a life_

The last traces of sleep, fogginess, and confusion dissolved from Shen's mind like hot steam in the polar ice caps. He had two incredible strokes of luck back to back that kept him relatively free of harm: number one, he was already pumped full of adrenaline from his eerily prophetic nightmare, and number two, he hadn't been trained as a martial artist in order to stare into space stupidly when fatal danger was imminent.

In a single swift motion, just as Lady Xuilan was beginning to drive the dagger down towards him, he kicked himself free of his blankets and quickly rolled off of the bed mat. Her blade would have sliced into his pillow, but her reflexes were fast enough that she was able to stop up short.

Shen scrambled to his feet and flailed for one of the knives that should have been in his robe…and remembered that he hadn't been carrying any knives on him all day. He usually kept at least a few razors concealed in his sleeves, but he hadn't wanted to risk tearing his dress robe during the formal dinner that night, and he hadn't brought weapons to bed with him since losing his paranoia that one of his subordinates might kill him in his sleep. He was unarmed and unprotected, standing before a woman who obviously wanted to murder him in nothing but a thin cotton sleeping robe. All of his spare knives were packed up so that he could take them home tomorrow, and he'd never be able to reach them in time.

All of these thoughts flew through his mind in about one half of a second.

Xuilan drew herself up, her dagger clutched tightly in her fist. Its cool silver metal and the blue jewel embedded into its hilt gleamed in stark contrast to her blood-colored finery. He remembered that the one other time he had seen her in person, she'd carried an aura of self-entitlement and smug superiority about her. Right now, she seemed to be radiating bloodlust and animalistic determination. She was determined to make him her prey.

"Xun!" Shen cried, but the wolf was not in the room. He must have decided to bed down somewhere else after being subjected to Shen's little rage blackout earlier. The peacock groaned inwardly, but he reminded himself that he wasn't exactly helpless, and shifted into a fighting stance. As always happened when he got especially defensive, his magnificent train unfolded.

Xuilan didn't seem about to waste any time on formalities, and she lunged for him, blade pointing towards his throat. Shen used her own momentum against her, grabbing her outstretched wing as it neared him and swinging her towards the wall. She tumbled downwards as if he'd pushed her outright, skidding hard against the ground.

She looked up at him, stunned. Her eyes really did look like two rubies glinting up at him; they were deep red and polished, and they contained about as much of a soul as a pair of shiny rocks.

"_You…_" Her sharp beak curled back in a bitter snarl. "_You're going to pay for that_."

But Shen hadn't wasted any time; he had already flung the door open and was off and running.

…

Masters Storming Ox and Croc rushed out of their rooms at the sound of a crash in the kitchen, and were greeted by half a dozen black-clad figures in the hallway. The adversaries weren't a huge challenge to get through, but after disposing of the first batch, they saw that there were many more. "They're trying to take over the grounds!" exclaimed Croc as he dispatched one of the invaders with a lash from his tail.

"Who and what are they?" growled Storming Ox, which was when he spotted a certain wispy white figure sprinting down the hall. Instantly suspicious, he barked, "Shen! What in the gods' name is going on?"

"How should I know?" Shen called back frantically, running for the door as a grayish form pursued him.

Meanwhile Xun, ever the heavy sleeper, had nodded off in a corner of the soothsayer's room and only woke up when he heard her scream. Someone in dark clothing had broken the door down and was now advancing on her. Without thinking, he leapt up and propelled himself towards the intruder at full force. As he bared his teeth in its face, he heard it splutter out, "B-Boss?"

Xun was so shocked that he nearly released his grip on his captive. With a slightly trembling paw, he reached out and pulled away the mask concealing its face…and found himself face to face with one of the wolves from Shen's obliterated army.

"You – you're one of Shen's wolves!" gasped Xun.

The mystery wolf growled. "I _was_ one of Shen's wolves."

Xun narrowed his eye and growled lowly in the back of his throat. He normally wasn't a particularly intimidating presence, but he saw his former subordinate swallow fearfully. "What are you doing here?" he snapped. "What's going on?"

"I-it's not my fault, Boss!" stammered the mystery wolf. "Lady Xuilan told us to come here!"

"Lady Xuilan?" repeated Xun. The named seemed to be somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. "And what do you mean, 'us?' There's more of you?"

The mystery wolf nodded shakily. "Lady Xuilan gathered us together – a-almost everyone who survived Shen's defeat. She told us that he'd betrayed us and that she'd let us get revenge on him. We were all supposed to wait in a village outside the city, and then tonight she called us in and told us to come here!"

Xun's eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully. He could probably get all of the information he needed about Lady Xuilan out of this wolf; he remembered that the soldiers in his army had never quite gotten the hang of keeping their mouths shut. (Then again, Xun himself had never been especially tight-lipped, either. Maybe it was a wolf thing.)

So Xun did his best to channel Shen's temper and bared his teeth menacingly. "All right. Tell me who exactly this Lady Xuilan is and what she wanted you here for, and I _might_ let you go. Don't tell me, and you might end up with worse vision than me, if you catch my drift."

The mystery wolf seemed to be making an effort to remain silent, but he blurted it out nonetheless. "Lady Xuilan says she's the rightful ruler of the city. I don't know that much about her. She told us that Shen is trying to take over the city again and he's in league with some political advisors, so she's gonna kill Shen, she sent Lady Ming to kidnap the advisors' daughter, and we were supposed to take out the Masters Council!" His words broke off into an involuntary dog's whine. "Now please don't kill me, Boss…"

Xun lifted up the mystery wolf's head in his paw and slammed him against the wall. The wolf crumpled to the ground, unconscious. Xun turned around to find that the soothsayer had been standing there and apparently listening to the exchange, with her eyes wide and her mouth gaping.

"Nana, are you hurt?" he asked quickly.

"I'm fine!" The soothsayer narrowed her eyes into a look of fierce determination. "Xun, you must find Shen! Tell him that he is in grave danger – that Miss Xifeng is in grave danger!"

"Gotcha!" Without prolonging the conversation any further, Xun got down on all fours and bolted from the room at top speed.

…

Lanying was laying on top of her bedspread, staring up at the ceiling glumly. She knew that she needed to sleep so that she'd have enough energy for tomorrow's journey, but her eyes refused to remain closed. It was at this time of night that her ears became the most sensitive, so she tried to concentrate on the settling noises of her parents' house rather than the heartbreak that the petulant child part of her wanted to dwell on.

Then she heard what sounded like slow, deliberate footsteps coming up the stairs. She sat up a bit, listening hard. Her mother would still be too tipsy to walk so carefully, so maybe Jie was coming up to talk to her or see if she was awake. But these didn't sound like her father's footsteps, either; she had never known him to move in a way that enabled him to make barely a sound, and she didn't hear the _shh-shh_ of his train dragging against the floor. "Father?" she called uncertainly.

There was a pause. Then the door to her bedroom opened the barest sliver. She squinted into the darkness, trying to make out the shape of what had been making those footsteps. After a few seconds, she thought that she did indeed see a figure there…but the form was too slight to be her father or even her mother, it was standing in an odd position, and it hadn't said a word…

Something metallic flashed from the shadows.

Lanying screamed and threw herself out of the way just as the arrow was fired. It impaled itself into the wall just above her window, where it vibrated slightly at a pitch that sounded like a mosquito's whine. The unseen archer – Ming, although Laying didn't know that – stepped into the room, her small, slender body making almost no noise at all. She kept her eyes trained on her still-living target. Her spotted face held no disappointment for missing the shot, only blankness.

Lanying screamed again, involuntarily, when she saw how many more weapons the spotted linsang was carrying. Her mind raced, transforming into the mentality of a trapped animal (which was exactly what she had become) until her only thoughts were those of escape. There was no way she could make it to the door, so her only option was…the window.

There was no time for conscious decision. Ming was already pulling another arrow from her quiver. Lanying shoved the blackout curtains aside and threw open her window, which was more than wide enough for her to fit through. Before climbing out, though, she hesitated. Her room was on the second floor, and she knew very well that peafowl couldn't properly fly; they only glided, and peahens couldn't even do that very well. She wasn't exactly physically adept, so there was a definite chance that she could fall…

Ming slipped her arrow into position and pulled back the drawstring of her bow.

Lanying took a deep breath, spread her wings wide, and jumped out of the window.

For a moment she was soaring towards the ground gracefully, with all the lightness of a fallen leaf and all the purpose of an eagle diving for its prey. The illusion was shattered by her altogether clumsy landing. She twisted her ankle when her feet hit the ground, but with no time to waste, she took off running as Ming effortlessly shimmied down the outer wall of the house and started after her.

…

There were more wolves in the hallway, and Xun didn't want to be there long enough to risk getting recognized again. He shouted to Masters Storming Ox and Croc, "Have you seen Shen?"

"He went that way!" Croc yelled, pointing a scaly finger towards the front door of the dormitory. "Someone was chasing him!"

Xun dashed that way without pausing for breath. On all fours, his running legs turned him into a bundle of speed, power, and brute strength. Whatever he lacked in finesse, he made up for when he caught sight of Shen and Xuilan after less than two minutes. The two of them appeared to be locked in a struggle, the muscles of both birds tense and straining; Xuilan had a dagger that she was trying to force towards Shen, and Shen's lack of weapons made him only able to try and keep it away from him.

Xun didn't pause, continuing to barrel forward and gather inertia…then, taking the best aim he could manage, he launched himself into the air and tackled Xuilan to the ground.

Shen stumbled and fell, but was now out of harm's way. Xuilan found herself to be pinned beneath Xun's paws. She struggled and writhed beneath his heavy weight, trying to lift her blade, but he had made sure that her weapon hand was temporarily inaccessible.

"Get off of me!" she shrieked, the black comma-shaped markings on her face making her eyes appear to glow like coals.

Xun turned his head to the still-stunned peacock. "Shen, this lady is trying to kill you!" he cried.

Despite the dire situation, Shen managed to roll his eyes. "No, really? I hadn't noticed!"

Ignoring his sarcasm, Xun continued, "She got together all the last of the wolves from my – your – our army! They're attacking the masters, and another one of her lackeys is going to get Lanying!"

Shen might have started questioning his friend about the wolves who apparently now served Xuilan, but the name _Lanying_ felt like a punch in the stomach to him. "What? Where is she?"

"I don't know! You have to find her!" Xun looked down just in time to see the tip of Xuilan's knife getting dangerously close to his stomach. He growled and moved his paw to clamp her arm further. "I'll try to hold this one for as long as I can!"

Shen leapt to his feet. He wasn't sure where to start searching, but he did know that he needed some sort of a weapon, and fast. He sprinted back into the dormitory, where the Masters Council had almost completely subdued their attackers, and skidded through the door of Master Croc's bedroom. There had to be at least one weapon in here, there just _had _to be…

The room was decorated with souvenirs from triumphant battles. Shen spotted leather armor, a broadsword, and several capes piled haphazardly on the shelves. Then he caught sight of a tall, thin object propped up in the corner, and his breath caught. It was a halberd.

Shen's signature _ji _had been lost after he was crushed in the final battle of Gongmen City, and he hadn't used one since, as he had yet to find a suitable replacement. But this halberd looked just like his old _ji_. He wondered if it actually _was_ his, or if this was just an enormous coincidence. Either way, he grabbed it without a second thought and felt a peculiar thrill at the familiar weight and balance of the weapon.

Now focused on nothing but finding Lanying, he brandished his halberd and fled out into the city.

At the same time, Xun made the mistake of trying to manhandle Xuilan in order to get her somewhere that she could be detained. As soon as she wasn't trapped under all those pounds of lean muscle, she was able to land a sharp kick to his muzzle with her talons that made him yelp and stumble back painfully. She immediately pushed off into the air and took flight, scanning the ground for her target, not bothering to use her dagger on someone who she considered to be a worthless subordinate.

Xun rubbed his nose, only able to watch helplessly from the ground as Xuilan soared over Gongmen. "Be careful, Shen," he muttered. "Be careful…and hurry."

…

Gongmen City was huge, sprawling, dark, and freezing cold. Shen persistently ignored all of that and kept moving forward as if he knew exactly where he was going. He went with his gut instinct when he came to turns or forks in the road, encountering very few bystanders (after all, who would be out on the street at this time of night, or in these temperatures?). The cold air stung his cheeks and rubbed his lungs raw, and the winter wind effortlessly slipped sharp, icy fangs between his feathers and sleeping robe and into his skin. But he kept on going.

He wasn't sure how far he'd gotten when Xuilan swooped down from the night sky, landing on the path directly in front of him. As she spread her tail feathers and talons, he had just enough time to see how much more well-equipped for this she was than him; peacocks were show birds, made to look pretty, unable to even fly, while Xuilan had the body of a hawk and the disposition of a hunter. The dagger in her hand flashed too brightly to look at for a moment, like a shard of lightning clutched in her fist. He felt an uncanny sense of déjà-vu surge through him, realizing that this had been the scene of one of his recent nightmares. He could remember nearly every motion of the fight that he knew would now ensue…

Xuilan lunged towards him, driving the dagger in the direction of his chest, but he intercepted this move and grabbed her arm. They struggled for a moment in a frozen fight, Shen attempting to pry the blade from its dangerous wielder, Xuilan pulling and tugging and trying to shake him off. She raised her arm, striking him backwards. He tumbled into the street, but unhurt, he jumped up again immediately. He unfolded his train as he advanced on his attacker, the display of brilliant white feathers rippling in the night air like a distress flag.

"Get out of my way," he commanded, knowing very well that she'd never listen to him.

"Not until I'm finished with you!" she hissed.

"Let's make this quick, then." He raised his halberd (well, his dream wasn't perfectly accurate; he recalled being unarmed during it) and shifted into a fighting stance. "I have somewhere that I need to be."

"You're not going anywhere!" snarled Xuilan, and before he could react, she lunged towards him. For a split second, his brain seemed to put the world on freeze-frame. He experienced that same horrible moment that he had during the dream, where in her psychotic eyes, he saw a mirror image of the monster that had overtaken him for decades and that he feared still lurked below the surface…

And he realized something.

He could beat her. Xuilan was imbalanced, and he was balanced; he could beat her, just as that flabby panda had beaten him long ago. All he needed was to tap into the fierceness of his old temperament, without dredging up the instabilities and the broken tunnel vision. And it was in that one frozen moment that he realized that he never should have feared going insane again. Even if his temper got the better of him sometimes, that was hardly something that only happened to him. After all, he needed just a little insanity to counterbalance the fact that he was now predominantly sane. That was the only way to maintain his natural balance.

He reached inside of himself, feeling his temper kept repressed inside of him, hot and simmering and ready to seize him when he got too emotional. Without trepidation, he released it.

Time returned to normal speed, and Xuilan slashed at him, again and again and again. He spun his halberd with ease, deflecting every blow. She was definitely skilled in kung fu, and normally her demonic fervor would have gotten the better at him, but Shen fought like a man possessed and kept her attacks at bay. The two of them stabbed and blocked and grappled, circling each other as if closing in for the kill…

Suddenly, something flew over Shen's head and barreled into Xuilan, knocking her off-kilter. Before she could recover, two muscular figures grabbed her from behind, liberated her of her dagger, and pinned her against the nearest wall. Shen snapped out of his vehement state just in time to realize that it was Xun, Storming Ox, and Croc who had come to his aide.

"Hey, buddy," grinned Xun as he twirled Xuilan's dagger between his fingers. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Xun!" Shen blinked, startled, then managed to return the smile. "Thank you for that, I suppose…although I was doing fine on my own."

The wolf snorted. "Oh, come on. You know you would have run out of steam eventually."

"I wouldn't start joking around just yet," warned Storming Ox as he and Croc kept Xuilan pressed against the wall. "We've got Lady Xuilan, but from what Xun told us, Lanying Xifeng is still in danger."

Shen nodded, all of the good humor instantly disappearing from his face. "I'll find her. You three take care of Xuilan." Without pausing for confirmation, he immediately took off again.

Xun rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, you're welcome, you stupid peacock."

…

Ming continued to trace Lanying through the streets of the city. Lanying was not the most physically adept peahen around, but it was amazing how long her body managed to maintain itself when she thought that she was in mortal peril. Ming's orders had been to subjugate and kidnap the Xifeng's daughter, of course, not to kill her, but Lanying had no way of knowing that.

And so she kept on running.

After a while, she became acutely aware of the pounding of her heart…much too acutely aware, and her heart was starting to flutter irregularly, instead of just beating like a drum as it struggled to send oxygen to her the exerted cells in her body. And, come to think of it, wasn't she shaking? She raised a wing in front of her face and saw definite trembles. But it must have been because of the cold…she prayed to the gods to _please_ let it be because of the cold…

And then the panic set in.

Of course, she was already panicked; after all, she was running for her life, not taking a midnight stroll. And she was used to feeling the irrational fear that always accompanied her panic attacks. But this was a feeling of an intensity that she had never known: it was blind, utter terror, cinching her throat and squeezing her heart, turning every shadow into a demon and every tremble of her body into a violent convulsion.

She wasn't going to make it…she couldn't keep running…she could barely breathe, barely see…

Lanying went sprawling out over the street, crumpling into a heap on the ground. She tried to get up again, but her arms and legs were suddenly too weak to comply with her commands. Every breath ripped through her throat painfully, and she was so scared that she could no longer think straight.

The running footsteps that had been behind her during the whole chase advanced on her slowly. Ming approached her, not even bothering to reach for a weapon. The spotted Linsang didn't even appear to be winded by her sprint.

"P-p-please…" Lanying begged, only able to lift her head ever so slightly. She was crying now, not consciously, but sucking in hiccupping, hysterical sobs. "P-please, don't…d-d-d-don't h-hurt m-m-me…I-I'll do w-w-whatever y-you want, I-I…"

But Ming was no longer even looking at Lanying – her eyes were fixed on something behind the peahen, and they had widened in fear.

Shen had arrived.


	19. Recovery

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 19: Recovery_

This was perhaps the first time since her arrival in the city that Ming's face had registered an emotion. She took another step back, eyes widening as she stared at the white peacock who was glaring evenly at her from behind Lanying. He held his halberd like a staff, keeping its blade pointed up towards the sky, and his open train provided a magnificent and even heroic backdrop for him as he shifted into a tight fighting stance.

Lanying had not noticed that he was there; she had buried her face into her wings, shoulders heaving, aware of nothing but her own jabbing panic.

"Get away from her," Shen coolly ordered Ming. "Put down your weapon and step away."

Ming hesitated, knowing that her mistress wouldn't be too thrilled about her giving up the mission like this.

"We've already taken care of your Lady Xuilan," continued Shen, raising his halberd and steadily aiming its tip at the spotted linsang. "She's not going to come here and save you. Now, _get away from Lanying_."

Ming didn't waste any time: she threw her bow to the ground and took off running, so quickly that she vanished from sight almost instantly. Shen briefly considered going after her, but when he saw Lanying curled up in a shivering heap on the street, looking like she might be hurt or possibly unconscious, his priorities changed. He dropped down to his knees and slipped a wing around her shoulder. "Lanying, are you – "

Her body convulsed violently beneath his fingers; she clearly hadn't been expecting anyone to reach out and touch her. Her wing struck out wildly at him, but in her state she didn't even come close to hitting him, and he gently gripped her hand and tilted up her face so that she could see him. "Relax, it's only me…"

"Sh-Sh-Sh-Shen?" Her beak was chattering so badly that she could barely force out the single syllable needed to say his name.

"Yes…" He wondered if she would try to push him away now that she saw him as the man who had manipulated and betrayed her, but she didn't. It seemed that she wasn't thinking clearly enough for that. Worriedly, he asked, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"N-n-no…" Lanying pushed herself up into a semi-sitting position, but she wobbled and seemed unable to maintain her balance. "I-I'm h-h-having a p-p-p-panic a-attack." With that, her words dissolved into muddled sobs of hysteria, and she sank down against him in a trembling, inconsolable heap.

Well, that explained why she was crying and incoherent and didn't even seem to remember the fight between them that had occurred just hours before. Shen swallowed a few times, painfully, as he looked down at her. He knew how nerve-wracking and uncomfortable it was to have a panic attack, of course. Only a few weeks prior, he himself had been suffering through the chest tightness and heart palpitations and waves of irrational fear washing through him. But he'd never been in a state like this, where he couldn't sit up straight or even assemble a lucid thought. Maybe Lanying was so much worse right now because of one key difference between her normal panic attacks and this one: this time, she was dealing with rational fear. She'd just been flung into a life-or-death situation, something that she'd probably never had to cope with before. No wonder she was so terrified.

Unable to think of anything else to do, he tentatively slid his wings around her and softly pulled her into an embrace. "It's all right," he murmured, hoping that she wouldn't recoil. "You're safe now…"

For a few moments, Lanying didn't seem to know how to react. Just being hugged seemed to be a foreign experience to her – Shen understood what that was like, as well, but he didn't let go of her. Then, to his extreme surprise, he felt her hands reaching up and gripping the front of his robe, and her face turning towards and pressing against the base of his neck. He stiffened slightly in shock, unable to believe that the same peahen who had only ever given him a single one-second kiss and upheld a strict policy of not being touched was now clinging to him like a child.

But maybe those were the key words. _Like a child_…when he looked into her eyes, behind the rivulets of tears and the dilated pupils, all he saw was the ages-old fear of the little girl who had been shut up in a dark room by herself when all she really wanted was comfort, who had been forced to grow up and suffer through her condition on her own without ever receiving affection, who was stronger than anyone realized and yet had gained nothing but the label of "cripple" for her troubles. Lanying's exterior was comprised of bitterness and self-isolation, a front that she had put up for self-defense reasons. On the inside, she was a talented woman who hadn't yet entirely given up hope that she could find her place in the world. But what Shen was seeing now was the deprived, needy child that had been buried at her core.

It was now that she reminded him more of himself than ever before.

"Shhh…" He continued to hold her against his chest, trying to quiet her hiccupping, panic-stricken sobs. She was trembling so badly from the combination of the cold weather and the symptoms of her attack that it almost felt as if she was vibrating. He wished that he had a blanket or at least a cloak that he could drape around her shoulders to keep her warm, but he was wearing nothing except for his thin cotton sleeping robe. He did his best to keep from shivering as he began to feel the cold affecting him, as well.

"Can you stand?" he asked softly, trying to keep his voice at a pitch that wouldn't set her on edge too much. "I need to get you home…"

"I d-don't w-w-want to go h-h-home," Lanying managed to choke out.

"Then I'll take you back with me. Come on…" Shen eased her to her feet, allowing her to lean on him heavily for support. After a moment or so of unsteadiness, she was able to stand, but she refused to let go of him; if anything, she only tightened her grip. Taking a moment to scan the street and get his directional bearings, he began to walk forward, leading her back in the direction of the dormitory and the incomplete Tower of the Sacred Flame.

As usually happened with a panic attack, Lanying's symptoms peaked after a few more minutes, but her fear refused to release its grip on her. No sooner had she begun to calm down a bit then another attack pounced on her, not quite as debilitating as the first, but the fact that she was desperate for it all to end made it an even more miserable experience. This time a sudden bout of dizziness and light-headedness nearly caused her to collapse, and she released a stifled cry as her knees buckled, clutching on to Shen for dear life. He quickly escorted her to the nearest bench and let her sit down until she felt less faint, keeping his wings around her the entire time.

"I h-h-hate th-this," Lanying sniffled, pressing her face into her hands, never meeting his eyes. She was crying again, quietly, more consciously this time. "I h-hate b-b-being this w-way, a-and I h-h-hate b-being afraid. I j-j-just want i-it t-to s-s-stop…"

"It's okay," he assured her soothingly, nudging her head up a bit. "It will be all right this time. I'm here now…"

It was nearly dawn by the time they finally reached the dormitory on the palace grounds. They hadn't even walked through the door before they were swarmed by a concerned mob consisting of members from both of their families. The soothsayer, despite her age, was the first to reach them. "Shen!" she cried out, clapping one hoof over her heart in relief (while the other still firmly held on to her walking stick, propelling her towards him). "Thank the gods, you're all right!"

"Of course I'm all right," he answered, unable to keep from smiling. He would have embraced her, but he was still supporting the shaky and petrified Lanying. "And I'm happy to see that you're safe, too. But Nana, would you please go get a blanket?"

"A blanket?" The soothsayer blinked, for the first time taking note of the shivering peahen still firmly attached to Shen. "Oh, you found Miss Xifeng! Is she hurt? The physician is already inside…"

"No, she's having a panic attack." Lanying had begun to sway slightly, clearly at the ends of her nerves, and the worry that flashed over his features did not escape the soothsayer's attention. "A blanket, please, Nana…"

The old goat nodded and trotted off briskly into the building. Shen managed to get Lanying to the kitchen and into a chair before she fainted; she seemed to be having some difficulty keeping her eyes open, but still clutched his hand weakly. He stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders, silently reassuring her that he was still there, that she wasn't alone.

Actually, neither of them was alone, because the kitchen was already occupied when they walked in. Two of the other chairs were filled by Master Storming Ox, who was having a wound on his arm bandaged by the physician, and Xun, who looked ready to fall asleep. Jie and Yue Xifeng were there, too, and they both rushed towards their daughter eagerly.

"Lanying, there you are!" exclaimed Yue, who seemed to have mostly recovered from her intoxication. She looked up at her husband triumphantly. "You see, I told you that there was nothing to worry about…"

Jie appeared to be genuinely relieved that his daughter was safe. He turned towards Shen gratefully. "Thank you so much for finding her, Master Shen. My wife and I were both asleep when we heard her scream…we ran upstairs, and she was gone. Her window was wide open and there was an arrow in the wall…we feared the worst…"

The soothsayer returned just then, her arms piled high with not one but two blankets. She drew herself up as high as she could to drape one around Lanying's shoulders; the other she held out to Shen. He looked down at it uncertainly. "Nana, I don't need – "

"Don't give me that, Sheng Li," she interrupted firmly. "You were out there for a long time, and you're cold to the touch. The last thing I need is for you to get sick." She wrapped him in the blanket, and he allowed her to without protest. Truthfully, he was freezing now that his rush of adrenaline had passed.

Lanying was beginning to calm down now, although she kept peeking out at her parents warily from between the folds of her blanket. Seeing that she was more or less taken care of, Shen turned to Storming Ox. "What happened to you?"

"Xuilan snagged me with her dagger and nearly got away," he grunted. "Master Croc went to go take her to Gongmen Jail, and also to see if he could round up that bodyguard of hers."

The physician, an antelope who Shen recognized as Dr. Ren, finished tying off Storming Ox's bandages before turning to the peacock and clearing his throat. "Well well, Master Shen. It's been a while…"

"It certainly has," Shen agreed with a sigh. The last time he'd seen Dr. Ren had been over four years ago, when he'd still been hiding out in Dao-ming Temple; Shen had been injured by the mob, and Dr. Ren, who'd been tending to the Jade Palace warriors, was the only healer in the city who had been willing to take care of him.

"You're not hurt, are you?" asked Ren, shoving his spare bandages into a medical bag.

"No, no…" Shen shook his head dismissively. "Just a bit shaken up, that's all."

The antelope eyed Lanying curiously. "What about Miss Xifeng here? She doesn't look so good…"

"Well…" Shen heaved a sigh. "She's having a panic attack."

"A panic attack?" repeated Yue. "Oh, gracious, not another one! How terrible, especially with all these people around…well, we know what to do for that, now don't we! She just needs to be put in a room by herself for a while, and then she'll be as good as new in no time!"

Shen felt Lanying clutch to his hand fearfully. She didn't say anything, but when he met her violet eyes, the message was clear: _Please don't let them take me away from you_…

He stepped forward, straightening his shoulders and looking Yue straight in the eye. "No."

"No?" Yue narrowed her eyes, peering at him suspiciously. "What do you mean, no?"

"Mrs. Xifeng, I didn't want to confront you about this, but I feel that I must." Shen took a deep breath and steeled himself. "The way that you've been treating your daughter is appalling to me, especially regarding her panic attacks. I can't believe that you're not even concerned about what these attacks might mean for her! She's been suffering because of them, and yet you've been more concerned about your social standing than you have been with properly taking care of her!"

Yue's jaw dropped, her body stiffening. Shen had the sense that she wasn't used to being reprimanded or told that she was wrong, especially in a manner such as this. Nevertheless, he pressed ahead:

"Besides, you should have realized long ago that there's no way to cure a panic attack – especially not by putting the person who's having one into a room by themselves. What Lanying really needs is to be comforted, and she hasn't once received that comfort from you. You are her parents, so I'm hoping that you really do care about her and just aren't sure how to show it…" He wrapped his wing around Lanying's shoulders. "But as her future husband, I certainly care about her, and I know what she needs. I know a lot about panic attacks, trust me…I have them, too."

At first, a flat silence was all that greeted his words. The soothsayer had set her mouth into a hard line, glaring at Shen for being so rude, but he was quite frankly too tired to care about whether or not he'd been overly blunt.

"Y-you…" Yue managed to snap her beak shut. "Why would you say such a thing! How dare you imply that we don't know how to take care of our own daughter! Of all the nerve!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Xifeng," said Shen. His voice held no anger, only plain resignation. "I didn't mean to upset you, but it's the truth."

Yue's beak seemed to quiver. Then, without a word, she fled from the room.

Jie stared after her in silence. After nearly a full minute, he turned to Shen. "Well, Master Shen…"

Shen winced. He had really shoved his foot down his throat now, hadn't he? All he'd wanted to do was help Lanying, and now her father was probably going to break off the engagement…

"…I have been trying to get up the nerve to tell my wife those very words for twenty years," completed Jie. "I suppose that's one more thing I need to thank you for."

Shen blinked. "Wait…do you mean to tell me that you _knew_ you were hurting your daughter this entire time?"

"To an extent, yes." Jie rubbed his temples wearily. "Lanying may not remember it, but even before she began having her panic attacks, my wife was not a particularly nurturing mother to her. However, the last thing a mother wants to hear is that she has been raising her child incorrectly. I dropped hints now and again, but Yue seemed insistent on never changing her ways. I promised myself that when the time was right, I would apologize to Lanying for what she had to go through…" He looked down at his daughter, who was leaning back in her chair, eyes shut weakly and barely awake. "Which I will do once she's feeling better. For now, I suppose I should go talk to Yue." He bowed slightly and exited.

Dr. Ren cleared his throat and approached the two remaining peafowl with a bit of trepidations. "Chronic panic attacks, eh? It's a nasty little condition. Just another example of one's own body turning against them…"

"What do you mean?" asked Shen.

"Do you know what is meant by the term 'fight or flight?'" responded Ren. Shen shook his head. "Well, it's a sort of trigger in a person's body that helps them survive in critical situations by fighting or fleeing. However, sometimes the fight-or-flight response is…broken, so to speak. It gets triggered at random, usually when there's no cause for it. When that happens, the person has a panic attack."

"And tonight, Lanying's fight-or-flight response got triggered for real," realized Shen. "Ming was chasing her, and she knew that she was in grave danger…that must be why her panic attack was so bad."

Ren nodded sadly. "But, like you said, there's no real cure for a panic attack other than to comfort the person who's having it, so there's not much I can do. I didn't even think to bring my calming herbs with me, so I can't offer you those, either…sorry."

"Now I really wish that Lady Biming was here," Shen muttered to himself.

The antelope's sharp ears caught this, and he looked at the former warlord reproachfully, remembering the panda healer who had once been considered to be the best in Gongmen City. "Well, maybe if you hadn't killed her…"

"Hmm?" Shen seemed genuinely startled by the notion. "What are you talking about? I didn't kill her. She's back at home."

Ren stared. "…are you on any new medications, Master Shen?"

Shen only rolled his eyes.

…

Soon enough, activity around the dormitory settled down completely. Dr. Ren finished packing up his medical supplies and went home, the soothsayer and Master Storming Ox retreated to their respective beds, Jie and Yue presumably continued to discuss things outside of the kitchen and Xun continued to sleep away in his chair (no one succeeded in waking him – the wolf was a notoriously heavy sleeper, especially at times like this, when he was utterly exhausted). Shen was about ready for some rest himself…but first, he had to take care of Lanying.

Lanying was unaware of everything, slipping in and out of a restless doze. She didn't usually get so drained of energy after her panic attacks, but then again, tonight she'd felt an entirely different kind of fear. Normally she felt the sort of creeping, persistent fear that would keep her up all night and leave her disjointed and incoherent the next day, but after two of her worst panic attacks every striking her one after the other, it was clear that she'd experienced the other kind of fear – the kind that struck people suddenly and left them just as quickly, leaving them weak and fatigued when it finally passed. She couldn't have summoned up a clear thought if she'd tried, and she certainly didn't have enough energy to even make an attempt.

Shen knelt down beside her chair, tilting his head with concern. "Are you feeling any better, Lanying?" he asked. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

She opened her eyes the barest sliver, but her view of the world seemed nauseatingly blurry, and she scrunched her eyelids shut again. "I just…want…to lay down," she managed.

"All right," he nodded, and, without really stopping for conscious decision, he helped her up and led her carefully laid her down on his bed mat and pulled the blankets over her. Her hand remained clasped around his for another two or three minutes more; after that, however, she was very solidly asleep.

Shen exhaled as if that would relieve him from the strain of the night, leaning back against the corner nearest the bed. He huddled into the blanket wrapped around him and watched Lanying as she slept, rather peacefully for someone who had been shaking and crying inconsolably just a little while ago. She was, admittedly, a mess. Her sleeping robe was torn raggedly in places and dusted with dirt from the city streets, and her face was crusted slightly with the dry residue of tears. He imagined that, considering he'd been fighting, he probably looked no better.

He felt oddly peaceful now. In those few half-awake moments, he knew exactly what he had to do. He had seen very clearly tonight that Lanying really did need emotional support, and he was fully intending to give it to her. Of course, in his haze he forgot about the fact that the truth of their engagement had come out and that she would most likely be angry with him again when she woke up…but for now, that could wait.

His transition from half-formed thoughts to lilting dreams was so seamless that he didn't even notice it as he sank into slumber.


	20. Home again

**A Great Escape**

_Chapter 20: Home again_

Lanying slept fitfully, but at least it was something; after a panic attack, she normally didn't sleep at all. As the night progressed, half-formed nightmares reached out and snatched at her mind, but none seemed to be able to get a very strong grip. She briefly awakened several times, adrenaline pulsing through her, left with only a flash of memory about a dream that she couldn't quite recall. Each time this happened, her own exhaustion would take her down again before she had the chance to question her surroundings.

Because of how late she had been out, she didn't truly wake up until early in the afternoon. She was sore all over from about a dozen bruises she had accumulated when she'd collapsed, she had a pounding headache, and as she sat up in bed she didn't have the slightest recognition of the room around her…or of the bed, for that matter.

She massaged her temples gingerly, her fingers rubbing small circles on her forehead as she tried to piece together the events of the previous night. Her panic had been so strong that it had struck her mind like a bludgeon, eradicating much of the information in its path. She dimly remembered the slender furry creature who had broken into her house and chased her out of the window. She remembered running through the streets of Gongmen in a state of blind fear until a panic attack had finally caught up with her. And she remembered collapsing in the middle of the road with her adversary leaning over her, certain that in another moment or two, she would be unconscious or kidnapped or worse. And she remembered…

Shen appeared at the door to the room just as he had appeared at her side the night before, causing her to gasp slightly and flinch with surprise. "Ah, you're awake," he said carefully.

Lanying exhaled, trying to prevent her heart from palpitating again; her nerves were still shattered, and his sudden presence had sent another needle of fear driving into her chest. "Yes," she answered flatly.

He cleared his throat. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A bit." She scrutinized him carefully, remembering something else that had happened last night: the truth had come out and she'd learned that he had been playing her the entire time. But now that she was more lucid, her thoughts unaltered by anger or panic attacks, she couldn't help but think that something didn't quite add up. If Shen truly had no regard for her, then why had he come back and saved her from Ming? Why had he stayed with her during that horrible attack that her mind had mostly blacked out and tried to comfort her? After all, at that point she'd already known about his ulterior motives. She would have been going with him whether she'd liked it or not, and he hadn't had any reason to act like he cared about her anymore.

Had he?

Shen tentatively walked over and sat down on the bed next to her, making sure to preserve a fairly large space between them. "I didn't know what kind of shape you'd be in when you finally came to…how are you?"

"My head is killing me," she muttered, giving him a sidelong glance out of the corners of her eyes. "And I'm supposed to be mad at you, aren't I?"

"Um, yes, about that…" He sighed. "I wanted to talk to you. To tell you the truth, if there is any chance that you'd still believe it…"

"Well, I'm listening."

His eyes dropped away from her gaze as he wondered where to begin. "Well…I came to Gongmen at the request of the Masters Council, in order to help improve the city's defenses. On the first day I was here, Lady Xuilan showed up at the dormitory – that's here, by the way – and started threatening the council, and me. Masters Storming Ox and Croc decided to call in their political advisors in order to get rid of her. They were referring to your parents, of course, and that's how I first met them."

Lanying recalled that the day that her parents had come home announcing her arranged marriage, they'd been called away to discuss a "certain visitor" with the Masters Council. So far, what Shen had said matched up to reality. "Continue."

"They happened to mention their daughter who had panic attacks, and who they might be forced to send to an asylum soon if they couldn't find a good husband for her. It just so happened that I'd had a panic attack only the night before. I felt bad for this daughter, and I thought of a plan: I would pretend to be engaged to her so that I could take her home with me to the Valley of Peace, somewhere that she could be free to live her own life…"

She darkened a bit. "All right, so you took pity on their poor maligned daughter and decided to intervene. I would have understood that, so why didn't you tell me this before?"

He looked directly into her eyes, unflinchingly, and she didn't look away.

"Because then I met their daughter and saw what she was really like," he responded softly. "I saw how much potential she had, how intelligent and talented she was…how _beautiful _she was…"

Lanying made a quiet noise of surprise, but she didn't interrupt him, or break eye contact. No one had ever called her beautiful before. On the contrary, she had grown quite accustomed to her mother's complaints of how she never cared about her appearance, and how a proper lady should not allow herself to spend the day in baggy robes and covered in paint. She had always considered her features to be fine, but nothing spectacular, and certainly not particularly _beautiful_. It was doubly odd to hear such a word applied to her right now, while she was in a torn and dirty nightshirt and still visibly shaken from a recent ordeal, her plumage tousled and irregular from a night of restless sleep.

But Shen said "beautiful" as if he meant it, and he certainly _looked_ as if he meant it…

"I saw that she needed emotional support," he continued quietly, "and what else could I do? I gave it to her. I tried my best to help her, and I thought I really would marry her – or rather, you. I thought that I really would marry you." He realized that during this little monologue he had been unknowingly leaning closer towards her, and now he realized this and scooted back shamefully, averting his eyes. "And I lost you because I never said anything about it. And that's the truth, whether you believe it or not."

She appeared to be contemplating this for a few moments. Finally she added, "And you saved me."

"Yes, but what does that change? Nothing." He narrowed his eyes bitterly. "I know that this isn't a fairy tale, where the dashing Prince Charming saves a lovely maiden, and she rides off into the sunset with him for no other reason than that. I still didn't tell the truth. I still ruined your life. And I still started off our relationship based on nothing but pity and wanting to take on a charity case."

"And despite all that, you still stayed with me while I was having a panic attack," said Lanying. "No one has ever done that for me before. They're usually afraid that I'm having a fit or that I'll infect them or something, and they just ignore me. You were the first person who's ever comforted me…so why did you do that?"

He shrugged hopelessly. "Because it was the right thing to do, I suppose. And…because I still care about you, no matter what you might think of me now."

She reached out and gripped his chin gently, turning his head towards her. Her hand was slightly tremulous, and he had the sense that she was stretching far outside of her comfort zone just to perform the simple action of reaching out and touching someone. She locked eyes with him.

"Thank you," she said.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "For what? Saving you?"

"For caring about me." She swallowed, trying to arrange the words inside her head. "For so long, that's really been all I wanted…someone who cared about me. And all I wanted was to believe that you were that someone. If was quick to assume that you had been playing me, since people have done that to me before. But I can't ignore what's right in front of me." Her wings dropped down, and one of her hands landed atop his, but whether or not this was intentional neither of them could say. "You're telling the truth, and I believe you."

And then she kissed him.

Shen blinked, startled, as her parted beak wrapped around his, and she closed her fingers around his hand with a deliberate grip. His first thought was that this was a dream of some sort and that he might as well enjoy this while it lasted, and so of course he kissed her back, slipping a wing around her waist. This was a more passionate kiss than the first one they had shared, and it went on for several seconds longer. When they finally parted, both of them were slightly breathless, though not at all embarrassed. He became enticed by little inconsequential details, like the healthy color returning to her face and the way the shades of blue and green in her feathers set off the brilliant violet color of her eyes, and he knew that the moment was real.

"…after all this, you don't hate me now?" he asked when he finally found his voice again. "How is that possible?"

She shrugged. "It was only a little mistake…such things happen."

He wanted to tell her so many things just then. He wanted to tell her how glad he was that he'd started having panic attacks, because if they'd never happened then he never would have met her; he wanted to tell her that he was so glad to have someone who he hadn't wronged horribly in the past and didn't have to remember the monster he was every time they looked at him; he wanted to tell her that now he would make sure that he would get her away from here, and that she would have her great escape after all; and a part of him wanted to tell her that he loved her.

But all he said was, "Perhaps I should ask you properly this time…will you marry me?"

Lanying smiled coyly and replied, "I'll think about it."

And then they were kissing again, because she did not have to say "yes" or outwardly declare that she cared about him as much as he cared about her and that she was so glad that her parents had done one thing right by bringing the two of them together, just as he didn't have to say the _L_ word in order for her to hear it in her head, and to know that it was true.

After all, there are certain things that simply don't have to be said.

…

It was all settled: Shen, Xun, and the soothsayer would be returning home the very next morning, and Lanying would be going with them. She went back to her parents house for one more night and spent that evening with a perpetual smile on her beak, thinking only of Shen.

Her mother had locked herself into the master bedroom and was refusing to speak to her daughter, but Lanying couldn't have cared less. She didn't give a damn about her mother anymore or what exactly she'd done to warrant the silent treatment – in less than twelve hours' time, she would be out of Gongmen City forever. For once, things were starting to go her way.

Time flew by in a state of euphoria for both her and Shen. The activities of the city seemed to melt away around them, so they never knew that at Gongmen Jail, Lady Xuilan and Ming had managed to pick the locks of their cells and overpower the antelope guards and were now on their way out of the province…at least, they didn't know that yet, because no one would discover the bodies until the next day. But for the moment that didn't affect their happiness, and the matter would wait until another day until its story could come to fruition, as well.

And soon enough it was morning, and the masters of Gongmen City were being thanked by their guests for their generous hospitality, while the servants carted off the visitors' things to the sampan boat waiting to take them home. As Shen watched this final flurry of activity, he found it hard to believe that his little adventure was finally over. He hadn't gone into the city expecting to come so far, and yet he was standing outside of the dormitory realizing just how much had changed.

The soothsayer waited beside him, smiling up at him. "Well, my dear, not only have you helped to protect your ancestral city, but you also helped a young lady in need and fell in love, of all things." She chuckled. "I never thought I'd see the day that I could say that. Nevertheless, I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you for coming here with me, Nana," he answered, smiling as he took a last look back at the dormitory. "I might say otherwise sometimes, but I really am glad that I have you around."

She laughed and gave him a love pat on the rear, which caused him to grow flustered and draw back a bit. "You know that you'll always have me around, my little one. After all, who else is going to keep you in check?" She grinned.

Shen had already done his final check of the fireworks factory, so the last thing he needed to do was go and escort Lanying from her parents' house, gathering her things so that she could come home with them and live in the Valley. As he headed off for this last errand, Xun approached the soothsayer cautiously. The wolf was smiling and relieved that they were ready to at last, but he seemed a bit perturbed, as his ears were hanging slightly low on his head.

"So, Shen got his girlfriend," he finally sighed, looking down. "I guess this means that things are never gonna be the same again."

"Things are changing all the time, Xun," responded the old goat. "But you and Shen have managed to stay friends for this long…somehow I doubt that this is going to be what finally separates you."

"Yeah…you're right," Xun admitted. He smirked a bit. "That stupid peacock needs me, whether he ever admits it or not."

…

Lanying was sitting on the front steps of her parents' house, surrounded by the crates of possessions that had once filled her room. She had said goodbye to her father (her mother still wasn't speaking to her, and she still didn't care) and was now waiting to leave with a combination of eagerness and trepidation. When she saw Shen coming towards her, she ran to him, not recoiling in the slightest this time as he swept her up into an embrace.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked her.

"As I'll ever be," she replied, offering him a slightly nervous smile. "We have a lot to do, don't we? What are we going to do about our wedding…and what is the rest of your family going to think about me? What – "

He hushed her, keeping his wings around her waist. "Let's just take things day to day for now." He cleared his throat, a little awkwardly. "I've never really done this kind of thing before…have you?"

"You mean, planned a wedding? Or been engaged?" She had to laugh. "No."

"Then we have a lot to learn, don't we? And we'll learn it together."

And they collected their things and headed off, looking like a pair of very young lovers who had just begun to realize how much more brightly the world shines when there is someone by your side.

Shen's great escape was about to end; Lanying's was only beginning. Neither of them was entirely sure where they would end up after this. But if there was one thing Shen had learned after his many misadventures, it was that trying to predict the future doesn't always work, because there is always the possibility of some sort of alteration. The most important time was now, and with Lanying by his side and his family waiting for him up ahead, he didn't have a single reason to be discontent.

And when the sampan boat sailed away and he was standing at the edge of the deck with a smile on his face, he was able to bid Gongmen City a silent goodbye in his mind. It didn't unnerve him at all anymore; there were no more thoughts of ghost towers batting around in his head. He had been born and raised here, and he had abused it and tried to conquer it – and now he had lent a hand in protecting it, even if its most of its residents never realized what he had been doing there.

But it wasn't his home anymore.

He stood there on the deck, feeling the sea breeze waft through his feathers. He thought about his past, and about the artifacts from his childhood nestled safely inside of one of the many boxes on the boat, and about his parents in their graves within the Gongmen City Cemetery of Nobles. He thought about his nanny, and Xun, and Lanying and Kurisu and Lady Biming and everyone else. He thought about Gongmen City, and about the Jade Palace, and he thought about so many things at once that it was as if he was actually thinking about nothing.

He sighed as he watched the jagged skyline of the city vanish over the horizon.

"I can't wait to be home again," he murmured to himself, "but this truly has been a great escape."

THE END

* * *

_A/N - Thanks to my loyal readers, this has become my longest fanfiction ever, clocking in at over 50,000 words...and it's also become my most reviewed story on the site with more than eighty reviews. So I'm sure you guys would like to know, what am I going to do now that this is over?_

_I'm hoping to return and add at least a few more chapters to "White Hot Darkness," as well as start the sequel to this story, which will be less about Shen and Lanying and more about...some other characters. Don't worry, though, Shen and Lanying will still be in it. It will just be a different conflict than them and their relationship next time. For now, there are a few scenes of them in "The Song of Winter" so you can read that to hold you over._

_I do have a lot of things to do and work on, but hopefully those other bits of writing will be up soon. If you've been reading this story from start to finish, I'd be very grateful if you dropped me a review giving me your feedback on the whole story. Tell me what you liked and what you didn't; all I ask is that you be constructive._

_Until next time, au revoir!_

_**~gothicorca1895**  
_


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